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Show Three Birds With One Bone What’s Wrong With the city the County and Other Places Too By David Rosenbloom LL“ s see . . What are the chances | can offend two separate government agencies, which are linked by stupidity, in 700 words or less? |’d say good. Let’s begin with the Summit County commissioners, who more and more are start- ing to remind me of the commissioner on Batman. | know | stand for all the residents of Summit County when | congratulate you While we’re on the topic of driving, let's turn our attention toward City Hall: These masters of the domain have seen fit to cre- ‘ate a new “dumpsterland” in back of Main Street on Swede Alley (more properly _named “Speed Alley”), ruining the only parking places from which a person could actually back up without blocking traffic. Those familiar with the area, that 32-foot-deep October 245+ Club DV8* 1415 So. West Temple *@9 pers wit SPECIAL oust ald for members people on what a wonderful job you've done with Kimball Junction—the gateway, ‘as it were, to Park City. I’m surprised to find that none of you fine gentlemen possess a. degree in landscape architecture from some prestigious institution. In only a few short years, you've given us Wal-Mart and “well” directly behind Mechantile Junction antiques, know it was arguably the safest place on the street to park and to re-merge with traffic. ‘ And the word is that the dumpsters are ~ being relocated there because they “are no longer permitted” on Park Avenue, since Park You people gave us this the Big K (K-Mart with milk and eggs), not to mention Arby’s, Wendy's, McDonald’s and £1|6661 ‘yl UIdO190| OL Taco Bell—restaurants that | believe pose a health risk to the community. You people have _managed to make the entrance to our fine town It | can very the mirror image of everytown U.S.A. is my strongly held belief, and | believe back this scientifically, that if someone hungry visited all four fast food restau- rants enough times, he or she could con- " sume enough saturated fat to have a massive coronary and die, possibly while driving, thereby Retepeening the neal) risk to. the public. Avenue is a residential zone. No doubt they will do wonders to improve the look of Swede _ Alley, as well as the safety. So when the first — tragic accident happens due to these dumpsters, we'll at least know whom to sue. The one question | have after all this is a serious one: Would it be out of the question, since we are now considering drug testing teachers, to drug test the people who make decisions for us on a daily basis? Doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. |