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Show PHILOSOPHY. An Impertiaeat (Jue-tio- n. 1 a.v licit account tt:c w !io made ;.n from iend-h'- ;. lloiiiiidu and b ii inlo the se:l i Alive: In uiidiTinini's many a M rue-r- e by plic l he nan i:i the pie: ami ii f. lvihlv ol i el me of n.y ovin aiivcnuue on They never need fear a fall who coa-t.- " the Pacific ver Seale the height. to give us the siory in hi urged Being wealth need He w ho widely all its dei'iil-- , he inglv t leav e it for his tomb-ton- e. HOMELY Yes. The i mil' of coin is often the knell of aeronaut KICKED INTO A FORTUNE. if -- -- Disrll VKIIE!) AM) TO u'-:e- r. ()Mlr.LI.i:i) SAI..VKY TAIO. Khl-TM- ) TLis ITas tLa Experience of Hr. Henry Eooi. it-- cs he-it- at eon-ent-e- d, ami said : In i he j ear lMin I made an hile at romance stalks abroad in the sion from San Pranci-cThe upper ill light of day. took me current out to sea, as of air vv mo-h The t long escapes the in this ca-- e. AVe had no parachutes and is hooks, uigeri-uliually caught ill those days, but the tialloom was in- ith a bent up pin. tinted for only a short trip. AVlien Trosi erity awaits all men, and even ten miles at sea it began to descend, trsues some, but it is never found in ami where do you suppose I landed?' e haunts of vice. In the of course, replied water, is God nio-work of The t wonderful the man from Milwaukee. and but him brand slanderer, an, But I didn't. I gentiv- - descended odNvill His work. the deck of a large ship, which laid If you would avoid the suspicion of been in a storm and afterdismasted momr neighbors, never carry your ward abandoned by her crew. She was sses in a demijohn. loaded with a cargo worth $100,000, and I sailed her into port and got $175,-00- 0 Cut Out By Her Sister. Milton ISoswell, 27 years old, who salvage as my share. id been courting a young lady 23 You did! You say she was 33 tars old. lias hern married to his True genius lurketh under cover, n- o. li-- - j j di-o- reethcart's thii r. teen-year-o- ld a year ago he fell in love ith a Mi-- s Tennyson of South Wait-M- r. Hi ? u! lloswell popped the mum gton and a omau icstion olio inaht lat Bo uiVTn v wih for the marriage ill and Mi-- s Tennyson had a di. u.u- - (te out -- nine trivial matter, hut it e's A. :ru-- r is thought that tiie matter was set-o- n - id, and his s became more and m'ura'' There was, however, are t oo other attraction at the home of the i' 1 uiiivson- - lor him, and tlmt attraction sister. Bos- S', ts the thirteen-- v ear-ol- d his office in the after-oill often left w hen -- chool was and Miss to who as Mabel, j'h'.ed . ui is as deeply in love with Boswell as wa- - with her. The elder sister 4 i J that she was being ver t,, ' eut out us the wly but surely r term it. imeted a portion of his black Prince Al-li- ii in'! ary in a brnml-nrJrt suit Thursday niht, and then 'ule hi way to the home of the girl .0(1 r South uMunton. Young Mabel n so him. To- the at for waiting1 pite jjjis i.illi.'ther tbov boarded a Seventh-stree- t "i! Jr and w ent south as far as M street, . iJ 'aere one of the Anaeostia ears was After about an hour and a funding. of painful the car slowly and went as l.mtjycd oil- the turn-tabl- e .u.u;ti ag pour and a half and M streets, here it ran oil the track. In another hour they were on their drattiav ?, again, chatting gaily and calling Firwi'h'Ch other pet names, much to the in the iikee i'ian us e m e n t of the passengers r. At la-- t Anueo.-ti-a was reached, ortung id going to the residence of Mr. John AnsJir- - Poates the Bcv. George Bowman nRiu as called in and the knot was tied. Uuuttoi10 ow Air. and Airs. Bos-c- ll the house of the brides went to ipg irents, but Mr. Tennyson declined to teeive them. Washington Post. Dout Vrvk H-- A vi-it- b- c ir n, H w la-a- ii 2ff ION. An Error. The notions w hieli so closely connect hmu?0 invent imi and application of ma-th- e of wrant eon-ider- lie Had a Spine. A freak named Walter II. Drew, tork-Sere- and known all over the country as the eork-serespine man with the nimble toes suddenly became ill and died of heart disease before a physician could be brought in. He was on his way to Bangor, Ale., to spend the holidays with his relatives. Drew had such weak and slender legs and arms that he was never able to walk or carry He was born twenty-tw- o anything. years ago at Bangor, where his mother lias a public-hous- e .According to the story under which Drew travelled, however, he was the son of a Confederate soldier who fell in battle on Lookout Mountain. The soldiers wife discovered her husband's corpse, which so affected her that she was removed unconscious to a hospital in Chattanooga, Tenn., where the child was born in the strangely misshapen form which lie retained through life. Drew began to exhibit himself about fifteen years ago, and soon became famous. lie weighed only sixty pounds, was only 4 feet tall and was so nimble that it was said he could beat with his He toes a double roll on tho drum. On the could use his toes as lingers. show bills lie was described as the w arm-foote- f, d, man. lie was well educated, enake-spine- d cheerful and most devoutly to be entertaining. eprecatod. Could the machinery of this country imhs e py 0Iie stroke of a giant arm annilii- llie 0! a 'tied, what tongue can tell the results, the ptotfhii' 1C treiuendous reultf. of misery that rouhl instantly be realized? No siege however protracted ; no war, ow'ever bloody and desolating; no retd r title however wild and fero- Syolution. f ym ' haever shown a parallel for the jnTuyious, ut that would instantly descend if cot liscry tlic heads of millions, could any t m. y li0n Laiuuaaeh idea be realized. The means, not nly of, clothing, hut of food and of rWY " would instantly fail us; we t soilsdr iigration, l tiould - -- hut up from the rest of the h it. ! 1? oi'l(l ; we should be reduced into a ted I'ofJ t .ate m which it would not be strange -: even cannibalism were to ensue. The c, utor thioyOS,ilii.v machinery, to he consistent, n 'foSitust be universal. Bach class of ba- he same right; and if the T' lom' gricultural laborer be justifiable in the destroying the threshing-machinhas a right to destroy the ,fjraveiisOwor-loom- ; the printers pressman rib B Ktrouid be right in destroying the steain-fflo- 0 tress; and so, throughout the whole of society, we should he this fomi brown back into a state of privation, dples-nr-- s, and utter barbarism. I'nprr. ii.tor or write w U mpo-s- 1m- work-"umwic- 1 e, - A Mouse AVire AYalkcr. The other day at Jackson, Mich., a og rha-e- d a mouse, and the frightened little animal ran up a telegraph pole ml then started out on a wire for the next pole, IGU feet distant. The wire ip aiw nt E.'w'ung gayly in the breeze, blit the . tAreinbling traveler hung on and reached next -- tation in about an hour. He A d the Tiole, and when lie Tariiod tl.c bae he was fo tired that Iff10 iowcd hi m elf to be picked up by cciator. V e Mle-cemle- 9 -- r. ro!0 A Family of Speculators. Thousands are to some people what tens or units are to others, says the St. Sam Allcrton, Paul lioncer Press. the lig Chicago speculator, makes his deal? on the gigantic scale. Some lime ago his boy was to bo married, and a friend remarked to Air. Allcrton that he supposed tho hitter would give his son a good start. Ilumph, replied Air. Allcrton, that bov of mine is worth three or four hundred thousand. Alade it himself by speculating. No use of my But he did, doing anything for him. same. the just There's my daughter, Kate, he she's always been a speccontinued, ulator. AYhy, I remember some years ago, I made up my mind the crop of oats would be short, so I took a run around the state, and what I saw my suspicions. So, when I went home, I took Kate on my knee she was about seven then and I said, Kate, I believe oats are going to be short this AVinter; what do you say to our buying some? She agreed, and I bought some in her name, and, bless you, the girl is worth more than a hundred thousand t day n her owin right. con-lhm- -- A The overland train was jut in, and a company of touri-t- s wa- - piloted to in the after the comfortable quescabin. There they began tions of the friends who had met them, and the talk gradually drifted to the excellence of the ferry service, and then to Sail Francisco's cable road. Before tho conversation had reached the Cliff its third and la- -t stage, House and the seals, one of the party broke in with bis pet story. Speaking of rallies. lie said, reminds me of a good one I beard the other day on the late Charles Crocker. You know lie was at the head of the great Market street cable sj stein, and was a close flgurer in financial matters. Well, when the Alarket street cables were put down they employed Henry Boot to superintend the There was lots to learn about the cable roads in tlio-- u dujs, and even after the contractors had turned the road over to Crocker and his aociates every day's run suggested something in the wav of improvement. AVill.otit anv particular understanding, Boot wa- - kept along to look after -, to seand cure patents on the dozen and one devices which the construction and op-- i lie oration of the road had sugge-tewas paid a small salary, only about $inii a month, but so lojal was lie to the company that w hen ail offer camo to him from Denver urging him to take charge of that city's now cable road at a fat salary he refu-e- d it, and went on until he had about perfected his patents. When he had been thus employed some mw on months Air. Crocker came back from the Ea-- t, and at once began looking over the expen-- e account and paj roll of the cable company, w ith a view to retrenchment and a more rigid economy. After a time he came to Hoot's name. See here, lie said to his manager, w'liat's this man Hoot doing on our payroll? Oh, weve kept him along looking after various things and arranging about patents. Well, he has no business here at He was all, said Crocker, sharply. employed by the contractors, ami when they turned the road over to us eea-eNow, I want you to tell Air. Hoot that not only will we uo longer pay him anything, but that I shall expect him to return to us all the salary lie has received since we assumed control of the road. Perhaps you don't think Hoot was astonished. There he had refused a at a good salary, permanent ju-- t because 1ns had felt it his duty to stay by the Alarket Street company, and of course lie bad spent the $7U0 which he had received from the company by wav of compensation for seven months work. It was a big wad of money to the Hoot of thoe days, too, and be bad a heap of trouble to raise it. But he stood up all his friends, mortgaged a lot, and liually managed to square himself with Crocker, taking a receipt from that gentleman showing on its face tlmt he was not in the cable company's employ for the seven months, and that the inonej- - had been wrongfully paid to him. Then he went on and took out his patents in the name of Ilcnrv Root. By and by Crocker, llallidio and the rest of the cable men began the organization of their big pool. AYlien they got well along with it Uallidie said one day : See here, Crocker, where are your patents on all tlie-- e improvements which your people operate? 1 don't see your showing. Oh, we've got em somewhere,' replied Crocker, confidently, but when he came to look into the matter lie found he didn't have em by a long shot. lie found the patents for some of tlic most important devices in use on his system were in the name of n. Yes, sir. Then how did jou ail her in? Do you doubt my word, sir? Oil, no; but I want the particulars. her in, as 1 said Well, sir, I before, and that's enough. Any one who wants any further particulars w ill be as doubting my veracity, and it is ncedlc-- s to add that tho ! man who doubts my veracity Here be took from lii pocket a largo, long knife, tried the edge on his thumb n dl, and after a glance around, returned it to its sheath. No further for, and the particulars were subject of conversation was changed to s. other skeleton-dwar- I I.ee 'e.rrei.il -- Big Offer. A gentleman from Hartford, Conn., offered the Springfield, Alass., water commissioners recently to furnish the city with 5,000,000 gallons of pure water per diem, agreeing not to charge a cent for his plant, machinery, etc., until he had satisfactorily accomplished this and his plan proved a thorough success. He proposed to do this with a number of driven wells. thing-generallv- d. d. po-iti- lie sent for Hoot. When that thrifty mechanic appeared before the magnate the latter said: ltoot, there are a lot of our devices which we use and which I see are patented in your name. I wish you would just make them over to the company Hoot, simply. Why? You worked them out and patented them while in our employ, and of course you know that the laws of the State provide that when an artisan takes the time for which an employer pays him to work out a patent, the patent belongs to tlic Certainly, I know thats the law, on I'iv. ir. I v vv a- - w ili-c- j ha-ti- le j y. j Fri- day. King Charles I. was beheaded on Friday. Fort Sumter was bombarded ou Friday. Napoleon Bonaparte was born on Friday. on Julius was Friday. The battle of Alarengo was fought LAWYERS. Hungry Ones Foment Litigation and Flog the heels of Justice. In a recent addre-- s delivered at Chidecago, Judge Walter (). G clared that the standard in his profession was tmt so high as it was twentj'-tiv- e j ears ago, and that the law drew less and s upon the ablest and he- -t men of the nation. David Dudley Field, a lawjer of equal eminence, us- -- cried not long ago in an aildre before the American Bar that one of the chief rea-ofor this chamre was the undue multiplication of law- jet'. He cited the fact that there were 7u.uio lawjer- - in the United' Stales ugain-- t 7,W0 in Germany and 8,000 in France, the number in proportion to tin- population being more as in Ger-- 1 than seven times many and Jive times as large as in France, as evidence that the courts were clogged, ca-strung out indeli- the whole and nitcly machinery of jus- tice hampered and degraded by the scrambles for of three or four are needed. times as many lawjer-a- s There is much force in tlie-- e statementby two of tho tno-- t eminent lawyers of the day. It is apparent to all that there is a va- -t amount of litigation fomented by hungry lawyers, and that ail neees-ar- y legal business could lie done as well and much more rapidly with one-hathe bar grow ing crops or making doth and machinery. It is equally dear that the tendency of this scramble for a livelihood is to make the law less attractive to men of the highest abilities and to low er the standard of the profession. For the intere-t- s of the public and of good lawyers as well, there effort on the should bo a to simplify bodies of part the methods of the courts and increase the efiideiicy. If rases could lie liually disposed of in half tho time now required the saving to the public would he enormous, hundreds of pettifoggers and would be driven out of tlic legal profession would gain greatly ill the respect and confidence of the public. ( 'levdund Loader. on Friday. The battle of Waterloo was fought on Friday. Tho battle of Bunker Hill was m fought on Friday. Joan of Arc was burned at the stake !e-- on Friday. The battle of New' Orleans was fought on Friday. The Declaration of Independence was signed on Friday. Chicago Alail. j j - e- -s ob-erv- lf per-i-te- nt law-maki- ' He Banted to See an Overcoat. would like to look at an overcoat, said a seed j looking individual, entering one of our leading clothing liou-i- s the other day. Tliegentleman-l- y clerk ejeil him for n 1 About moment, and then said: Oh. that's no nutter, what price? said the seedy stranger. 'how me Aim, something nii e ami warm. thought the clerk, one of tho-- e fellow s from the country w ith a pocketful of money. Ju-- t watch me now. lie overhauled pile alter pile of coats, but nothing suited. Finally lie brought out a line, soft coat, fur cuff- - and large fur collar. Only $fn. Ju-- t as good as a tailor would charge you $80 for. The stranger looked at it carefully for about five minutes, and the salesman's eyes sparkled in anticipation of an easy sale. Finally the seedy individual turned to the salesman and said, with a sigh, Thankee, sir, thankee. It's been so long since I've seed a good warm overcoat that I tnought it would do me good to see one again, sir. Ford bless you, no, I couldn't buy it, not if it was forty cents. I jest wanted to sec it, that's all. Good-bye- , sir, American Commercial good bje." Traveler. -- Depevvs Story of Horace Greeley. To interrupt Horace Greeley when he was in the throes of bringing forth tut editorial an editorial which has never been equalled in the journalism of Amciica an editorial which was a slogan for his party, a thunderbolt for his foe was a danger which no friend, no enemy, none but a fool, O dared to encounter. I was once in his Direct to Brazil. editorial sanctum when the fool was Tho first cargo of American bituminous coal that has been known to be here. To relieve vour apprehensions, I was not the fool But he was one of shipped direct to Brazil will be taken and itinerant those persistent gentleby the schooner Hannah AIcEoon, book. He a with men subscription sailed from which Philadelphia yesterolil Horace while it day for Santos via Newport News. kept presenting mo-- t vv rememof as was you riling Alany efforts have been made to introber, w ith Ins pen away up to his chin, duce coal from this country into Bralike this, (illustrating), and Horace zil, but every attempt was thwarted by a lmhit, w lien any one would inthe the coal monopoly of country, had which was in the hands of tho English, terfere, of kicking, and so he kicked Finally, to handle the American at tlm subscription fiend. who refu-e- d when he saw that he could not get rid product. During the last two joar tliou-anof tons of coal shipped from of tho intruder by this means, he in the middle of a sentence, Philadelphia have hi on landed at St. slopped in and said, turned round, out and Thomas Alartinique, driving his: shrill voice of The AlcLoon gets that all foicign coal. What do you want? State it quick, $8.50 per ton freight. and state it in the fewest words. Mileage of Locomotives. Well," said the subscription fiend, A Says a railroad man: a subscription, Mr. Greeley, to want engine averages sixty pounds of coal of my fellow human thousands to the mile, and travel-abo5C,0niij prevent from beings going to hell. miles per year, while a freight engine I won't give Mr. Said Greeley: averages ninety pounds of coal to the There don't half a damned cent. mile and makes about 43,000 miles per you now. there go enough less. burn year, while yard engines Freight engines travel much slower There Mas One More. than passengers and therefore burn He You are the only daughter? more coal per mile. The largest mileShe Yes. I should think your father would age made in 1888 by a engine was 81,000 miles, and by a be willing to set the fellow who marries you up in business. freight engine 50,000 miles. Well, I don't know. I a lias made TVateh for the Blind. that offer six times now, und nothing A watch for blind people has been ever came of it at any time; but, In tbo George, if you want me it might do to invented in Switzerland. middle of every figure is a small peg-see the old matt about it. The Epoch. which drops w hen tho hour hand Should Use Better Material. reaches the figure. The owner feels It's commented very strange! that the peg is down and counts back Airs. as she laid down the paSnaggs, hour. to twelve to determine the per. What is strange? asked her husHoped to Be Alls-e- d. band. for late a is little you Bragg This Every day or two I read about a to be out, isn't it, Ieek? Aren't you steam-hip'- s record getting broken. afraid your wife w ill mis you? It's strange they don't make them Air. X. Beck I hope she will. She stronger. Iittsburg Chronicle. can fiing things pretty straight, though. bu-ine- ss po--ib- le pas-mg- er 1 ut , chrnu. (a-c- One dav a la in who -- i. .Ke u blithe brooui c...iio overt . IV and imiaY'd tor it.e bj irie.c. oml when I -i : : tcjipeii out ot i he . fii e ho N oi:M jou i.l e t m..ke T..i'Oi) i:i a year? liv. eertainlj'." It in iv jt ii a- - niueli as $7 per week, but j oil'll lie Mire to gel jour fortune in twehii mouth-- . Explain. y Well, I know a man lii'iuid vv bo's must and n got die. lie it l to be a robber, but has reformed now. He made $75,O()0 in cash at one haul, and it lies buried up the river. He sajs hell never touch a cent of it, but I know that the man who takes care of him until he dies will be told where that money -. Why don't von take him? Im a widower, sir. But vou mu-- t have frien So I have, but I'm giving vou tho first choice. If j on don't want it Ill find others. Tho result was that Alulcahy came to see me. He looked like some one I had seen before, hut I could not tell I saw that lie had only a few who. months to live, and without referring to the $751)00 or the fact of his having been a robber, I sent him to a comfortable boarding liou-- e and agl eed to fur-ni-- h him vv it It -- even dollars per week. For ten straight months I paid his w oil and had keep, and lie ilres-i( Ine plenty to eat and drink. day I was sent for to find him living. I was sorry, of eour-e- , hut bii'ine-- s is lui-- i. ness, and a- - soon ns I could make unity I said: John, jam art- going to die. Ye- -, soir. Ami that that money up the river, you know. 1 - I . Mul-oah- t juiiii Victoria was married ou Ca-sa- r TOO MANY er Hoot. l i bin ;. ed on Irikiv. a- - born on lY.il ij . Hiakspcare was born on l riiliv. Amei lea w as ered on Friday. Richmond was evacuated on Friday. wa on Friday. The The Minitower was landed on l'ti-daMo-eov- m-- ni Patrick I j 1 1 replied Hoof, in his mo- -t respectful tone: I nit there'- - jour receipt. Mr. Crocker, w hi. h hows that during the time I wa- - at work on the-- o patents I t wa- in jour employ. Now, in y dear Mr. Crorki-r- jou can have those ; patents tor ju-- t ' CriH ker paid. From Hoot'- - connection with the road he learned of the projected extension out lhiight street, put this $25.01 ii) into lands along that highway, realized on them when the boom came, j made enough to keep the wolf away! from hi- - door, thus found time to perfect a cable system of his own, forced them to take him into the pool, and is enjoying a rajahs income from it now. Theres a man absolutely kicked Frunci-c- o into a fortune. San Examiner. '?' -l op-po- rt - Ye, soir." Hadn't jou better tell me just where to find it? There's none there, soir! What! Niver a cent, soir. But Ca-c- y said there w as. He did, soir. Ca-o- y is mv brother, and we fixed on that story that 1 might be properly cured for in mv- - last days. You are a gintleman, soir, if I do say it, and I'll leave you the razor that Ive owned these four and twenty years! Gooil-b- y to yees, soir, and if you could do the fair thing by me and pay the funeral expenses and buy a beadslono I'd go feeling quite content. New York Sun. Air. Flaglers Church. It is not often that a rich man builds four churches at his on u expense in a single year, and a good deal rarer that ho builds four of as many different But this is what Air. denominations. Flagler, of the Standard Oil Company, has been doing this year. He started with a memorial church, erected in remembrance of lit daughter, who died in tho spring. This is to cost $200,0(i() and will lie one of the finest memorial churches in tho country. It is to belong to the of which denomination Air. Flagler is a member, and will lie located at SI. Augustine, Fla. In addition to this lrohbyteriau Church Air. Flagler has undertaken to construct a Methodist Church and also a very handsome Episcopal Church, also in Florida, where his interests are. And he has shown tlic range of bis appreciation bj' adopting the suggestion of some Catholic friends and putting up alongside of his other houses of worship e one for the of the Homan In addition to the.--e Catholics. lie has edifices contributed liberally (o the building of two churches for the colored population of the place. Altogether he has expended this j car about $100,000 in tins field. New York Lit er. u-- They Caught Nine Thousand Hals. The Elm Tree Hat Club was organized Nov. 4 at Norton, Ohio, for the purpo-- e of making war on the rodents. An agreement was signed that the side bringing in the largest count was to be treated to all the oysters they could eat, and the losing side pay the costs. Tho hunt was to discontinue on Thanksgiving Day, and then the final count was to be given, but was deferred until Saturday, Nov. 30. When the time came for the final count Capt. liper carried the day by 2120 counts. Total number of rat counts was 9513; total number of owl hawks, 95 counts; total number of mice. 3028. The Four Mast Craze. Nova Scotia has caught the craze for four-inate- d vessels, and a craft of 1,100 tons, square rigged on the fore-rna-- t, with double topgallant yards and and a fore and aft rigged ou a sky-ai- l, the three masts, has ju-- t been launched at South Maitland for the Smith d American trade. It is really a harkeiitiue, and it will make foreigner's eves stick on jtlien they see it. four-nia-te- |