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Show THE HERALD PAGE TWO. The Herald - Journal 'A Scrippx-- JOURNAL. - UTAH. LOGAN, 1 The profit turber Afternoon Every Week-daPublished every week day afternoon, except legal holidays, at 75 West Center Street, Ixgan, Utah, by Cache Valley Newspuper Co., and entered as matter at the postoffiee, Logan, Utah, under the act of March 3, 1879. Subscription price in Cache Valley by mail, $2 50 the year in advance, by carrier $&? a year in advance or 40f (he month. Outside Cache Valley, by mail $5no the year. Gilman, Nicoll tic Ituthman, Special Representatives San Francisco office, 625 Market St; Chicago office, 410 N. Michigan Ave ; New York office, 19 W. 41tn St.; Boston office, 18 Trcmont St ; Detroit office, 6hl New Center Bldg. y Hecond-claii.- v Ififtriy, folks! This is tin Mason of Lout, when many abstain from things to winrh thry are accustomed. One of the things we are going to abstain from during Izenl is work. Proclaim Liberty throughout the land" THE TRUTH QUICK Neither tins newspaper, nor any of its stockholders or officials has any connection whatever, dirctly or indirectly, with any political party, public utility, real estate promotion or other private business except the publication of newspapers devoted solely to disinterested public service. V (When did you rvT do uii work, you lug loafer? Editor). .4 wa.s Lincoln 4. YEARS AHEAD OF IDS TIME, MAYBE The Observer There is a BY ,IIM MARSHALL Ularence t the fine the gave 34 (trip louskoxen-w- th your money - seams it all started when somehod went to Alaska and found reindeer - and cows and and coyotes and wolvei cariboo and rabbits . and then stood back amazed and asked What! No monkox-cn?- " it ae ilory d, pertinent . V somebody got ail -through congress to buy some muskoxen -- on their theory that there wasn't enough regular beet in the country there's been a (Of comse beef surplus for years!) an expedition but anyway set out and captured 34 muskGreenland northeastern in oxen and paintully shipped them to New York New' York shipped them to Beattie ami Seattle phipped them to Seward, Alaska, and Seward shipped them to katrbanks . . and tbere they are So acpio-prtalio- n from the emotional. And then we shall begin to ggt somewhere. try right now ' & Maybe tins doesn't amount to much just a few hundred thousand dollars and nobody pays any attention to anything less than a couple of billions these days fair example of but It's the reckless Waste of money any time any expert" in any gets ' a departmertt government cockeyed idea into his head ' Another Americanism: dog pound. At least, it is in South Bend. Ind., where police captured one in the town's main street at 2:30 in the morning The gander, which had escaped from its pen, was strutting down the middle 'Cf the street sound ing much like ah automobi'e horn. It was placed m the dog pound for safekeeping. A lighthouse is called a pharos from the ancient lighthouse which stood on the island of Pharos in th harbor of Alexandria, Egypt is This who reived hft a Minus-- just re-- I of . ur in intelligence mark iceial test for lunih)Mlls. Mr. Mittumi is the Householder w h o iielieves that he is h ii outwitting glars when tie hides the key under the doormat. t t Tomorrow is St Valentino's Lay Following his annual eustom, Joe to .send Bungstarter is preparing a bouquet of hui moth r Amen an Beaut v ro:o: apunkled with sneeze powder. r- w VERSE OK VVOk.SE .offers patrons a list of valentine greetings, to be ou can send the sent hywire, qr ' following:) ,y U riling verse U too much Itother, So I let the Western I'niou do it, Mother; I love m and send this to slum it, By courtesy of h telegraph poet. . .. (Western Inion increasingly Uv dis- AS GILA The notion that a fellow has to swap his brains and his honesty. his sweat, for a medium of ex-- ; change, is a notion that evuvj day appears mote devihsh. A story at point: I know Northern Spy apples; I know their good jaunts ami their bail points. In these hills we have one of the few spots this side of the highlands ot New York state where Northern be can Spy apples the grown; and Northern Spy is the finest dessert apple man has developed In its prime it surpasses them a!1, and I have Golden Iadicmus and Hattuer ami most of the rest of the now aj'pies growing on these hills. The other evening I was talking with a neighbor who tries hnn to make a living growing apples. Speaking of the apple market, he said: My extra fancy Spies bring a dollar a box and iny punk ones bring 30 cents. I knew what niy neighbor meant when he said punk"; that is the inmate weakness of a Northern Spy It will start from the heart out mid develop a black, sour streak that cannot be discovered until you cut the apple in half BBT any apple grower ian surmise where his punk kpjjs are I have .traced it down t a certain tiers m the orchard and 1 look on the lnnt of those trees with suspicion. So I said to my neighbor: I hats rotten; that will kill the market for fancy and extra fancy apples; better cider them And my neighbor replied: How I NJURELAND r The is a rhesus or Bengal - short-taile- monkey monmischievous little key. which becomes about two feet long when full grown. It Is a very intelligent beast and if captured young enough may be tamed easily. It is probably ' its intelligence which - has won for it a great veneration from natives of some parts of India who protect and worship the breed. The monkey is mostly brown, although its face is a flesh or red color. Although allied species have tufted eyebrows and a beard, this monkeys face is entirely devoid of any hair. SjH-i'i- 4 t Irrrswimli-n- , , ; I, ending $122.(Mi,00 to a gag won an so raise there still is in H o 1 1 Miss Lena Miner eirtaineil t party Waexday eveMrs. Mary ning at the home The eor scheme E. Godfrey. carried out was reennd white. The evening was spe in playing bridge after which iffles were served to Mr. and 4rs. Byron Ravsten, Mr. and ws. Meilin Godfrey. Mr. and Js Claieme Clark, Maynard Cla Miss Jensen, Rupert aivsten and the hostess. The ladies high sc, prize w, won by Mrs. Byron jvsten The J high score prize for c men won by Mr. Mayna Clark Mr. Dan Godfreyof Dayton, turn-iIdaho, is spendingsome He w called to Clarkston. the bedside of his ither Mrs. Maria Godfr, 85 years old who has very vy sick for some time is still coined to tier bed. She is improvb slowly Mr. and Mrs. Ha f William of Logan who has bn spending the winter in Califora was also called home on aecot of illness of Mrs. Williams' motr. so a Valentine ywood. Walter Catlett was offereda the role of major in a picture for Howard Hughes. Nup! said Catlett. Never!" "Why not?" asked easting direc"It's a tor. the part. said generals!" I've played "I've played colonels. Catlett. Ive played admirals. Vou cant ask me to come down in the world and play a major." The easting director thought the matter was serious. He took it up with everyone in sight. And, since it made no difference to the story, the major was solemnly promoted to the rank oi colonel. rushed The casting director bark to Catlett with the news said the actor. "If I "O. K am good enough to play a colonel, I am good enough to get 50 bucks more a week. He got it. They said that it happened to Walter Huston the other day, when he was m rested for speedgood ing. Why do you wet the pencil before writing out the ticket?" he asked the officer. "To make the case look blacker. growled the law. a A LIVE AWY! Handmade Violin, $10.00; case, lw hows, :rc and $15.00. f complete for less thfi half price. Can furnit certified informational to value. Write oi phone for information , offic $(illll Herald-J- ournal -- are now experimentSciential ing with tnc creation of artificial life In a few years, no doubt, the stork will be bringing em in cans. FATHER of OUR COUNTRY What has become of th doetor who used to lie able to lam? a without tv nurse a n d two assistants ? boil The really astonishing thing war is about thp Japanese-Chines- e that neither country has yet tried to borrow any money from us. r"PWO HUNDRED WIIAT EVERY HUSBAND . KNOWS w The most malignant disease that can attack a woman is the fur coal fever. A E DIARY 12) Home lietimes, and to dining on a pie, that brave and noble dish. And h mighty wearie, to napping on the davenport, first removing my ahoon, but Lord! Bahie Humor doth tickle the bottom of my feet, to that I wake up, giggling like a zanny. Anon to listening to the nuigick musique box, and did not hear a single radio oroonor, which doth please me mightily, for Kurd! these crooners do give mo g rente pain In region of the gozzle. So passed this date. America. Washington Bicentennial Prize Essay Contest to leave tlu office at 2 oclock in the afternoon to play golf. Ail nations have rights except those who are guilty of the unspeakable crime of having a amatl army and navy. j .e f " f w y ago George Washington was born.' And in ' the course .of those two hundred years a little group of thirteen straggling, impoverished colonies have grown into the greatest power the world has ever known, the United States of News item says: Cost of Living Falls. We hope it breaks its neck! (Februane years This hank wishes to entourage a knowledge of Washington and his greatness. To the schools of this county we have offered cash prizes of lisWhen your wife ask ou ten to reason, she isu d)y means tor you to listen to her.. Two boiled Today's Special. atoms with toasted molecules. Ilk. 5 $10.00, $5.00, $2.50, for the first, Newest San Francisco's AND MOST MODERN Downtown Hotel! fnr retfnM, or to nrr I W nf Hoorn 1 9, ( 'M juvi I Rmm ( VrmMOfB with minimum tipping. Gu rage in hii.v'nirnt u ilh ilurt't 4. I'hnilor serene to all fittest room n eon floors. In every room for railio reception, running filtered iee water, tub and shower. Tower rooms windows. have Pinner in Coffee Shop fn an 7f in Main Dining Hoorn from 50 up. Also a la earte service. Western-exposur- If You Need Help In Filing Your Return See S. C YRIL CLARKE ' second and third best essays on a Washington subject. The contest has met with splendid response and a number of essays submitted from the students of almost every school in Cache iML M I L Jf.f - j.; wr-i , fering Serviclor feature Jims combining "maximum privacy I'mwaallr 1! County. Juxl u(T Union Squate most convenient to theaters, shops anj stores. Only California hotel of- H totals WiMftnf M'ottor, TAX i r' .j I ;ij L 'j( dhlill-- The names of the winners will he announced and the prizes awarded on Washingtons birthday, February the 22nd. Member Federal Reserve System e y at HATCH AGENCY COMPANY Baugh Block ' Phone 80 Uatvl Sin Frances HAIR CUT 25c 600 outside booms 127 rooms at $3.50 daily, 118 136 of $4.50, 107 "of $5, $5.50, 48 aj J6. Double $5 in $8 daily. CLUB BARBER SHOP Thain Watson, Prop. 117 North Main Street- Hpc.jto NrwrrtM V Luxe Rooms $ 2 to J20 daily $5 fo $12juigie, 7fo Ys double. Powell Street at Sutter San Franriwo Music Heumax Heller's enslmhle 'during Luncheon and Dinner single at $4, 64 at rooms InmTtmr.iiLutunousSuitrs - It was not money easy it is for you to talk I have to i hildrcn to pay taxes; I put slims on: iny v.ile has try go to the ho.pital My fumy Iruit the buyers pay half what it costs to raise. If I tan sell elder stock to suikeis I should starve." The profit system The final feature of this yarn is that the fellow ,whn bought my friend's punk ap- pies, that look so line on the sui fare, is a buyer for a door- peddler whose wagons give housewives 'biugains.' The good old profit system; the dear old Hoover, personal initiative. !ie Clarksbn MILLER J nee-to- INCOME Hollywood long ago that actor a STONY FORD, Ariz. Four people were hurl today when Gila City hoodlums again attai ked Stony Ford's frozen rloud. now anchored aoove the town as a tourist resort A lake had formed on the cloud, due to a sudden warm Four eastern dudes spell ware bathing m thus lake when a Gi!a City plane flew underneath and let loose a oliiy of ;:s Shells, blowing out the bottom of the lake and letting thi water out hen the lake bottom fell out the tourists canif with il Liu ki!y. they landed on top of the plane and finally got safelv to earth if you could rail Gila City safe The iity ire plant is sending up mote lee to rivet on a new bottom to the lake. powerful-ilntbe- ... IOI.KS ATTACK U)ll 15V KENT Ii. WRIGHT y half-doze- n By LLEWELLYN W'e can remember way back to lo2ti when business executives used in' danger of" being shot down by Japanese soldiers and sailors. .Somehow or other, it seems to us that a perfect lictuie of modern civilization would lie the American owner of a Japanese wind being bombed from an airplane bought with the money he lent Japan. I The penalty for hunking, in the case of a haplcts gander with no other way ot making itself known, is irrpr sonrr.ent in the It ,;qnn with which to buy implements of war; sending cut cursors, destroyers anil marines to save Aiuor-ieah- s Own West The Big Parade . I OF CIVILIZATION AND. LISTKN: Probably the only reason the department of agriculture hasn't got rHiurls and zebras and guafles up in Alaska is thnt nnlMuty hark in Washington thought of the idra yrt. d, - . JUST A riCTUKE year It Is sttange hat the great rattle ranges of the west were over looked until long after California':, gold fields began to be leas rich Gold, wlm h really bail less real worth than the gigantic grazing lauds, had a hue which was Irresistible. men of laterally thousands tramped over the plains and left them untouched 't was after the mines to be emptied, lifter the placer fields were less numerous, that men turned to the plains for livelihood Moat of the men who made history on the plains came from California and not the east. They were the men who had gone to California with lust of gold in their eyes. They returned gaunt, stark-eyeusing the plains as a sort of last resort It was Inevitable, hut none of them was sorry a few years later. "chc o'aina became more truly indicative or the wests spirit than the gold fields of California ever could have done. j me. nastiness of d We have never found anyone yet who could give a good reason for having an agricultural department In the first place store there isn't a uepartment department to tell department store owners how to run their husiness or a newspaper depart nient to tell Us newspaper muggs how to get out of the red t ' shut the poor' oul farmer, is supposed in be such a dumbbell that he can t get along without 3185,1X81,181 worth of advice every Oar , v yVs MBKEE TEST Marmadiike J. Minnow, Ml One essential system NKZ: Hugh McKuen, who reached' the, age of lor in the little Washington city of Colfax the other day, and then cried, attributed hirf great afce to the fact that he had a strong constitution to start with and thereafter did most everything one shouldnt do, It is customary, always, for old people to be a sited how' they got that way. All of Us w ish to live as long as possible;, even those who believe an eternal life full of happiness and ' devoid of worries awaits on the ' ? . other side.. f Longevity is mainly a' matter of heredity, seems. It runs in some families. It is also a mailer of climate, we who live fln moderate climates being longer-livethan those who "spend their days in very hot or very cold countries. If youd like a guess, it is ours that worry shortens more lives than any other cause. Work never kills; most of us dont work to a tenth of our capacity. If we worked harder and worried less, wed live longer. Work and worry cant exist together, under an old rule of physics that two things cant occupy the same space at the same lime. That, w'e think, was the secret of Mr. McKuens long life. lie didnt worry about himself and simply ignored the silly rules made up by the worryers for the conduct of life. Alaska has no use for them -- having moTe reindeer than she ' ' ' can find a market for and so there they stay every year congress ladles out e more money for them , Cinematters AITEESAK E HOW TO LIVE TO BE A HUNDRED at an Yeah there they are experimental station. - - eating their heads off at your expense they arc of no earthly use to anyone and never will bn because pcoplo won't eat muskoxen and anyway there arc too many cattle and too many sheep and too many hogs in the coun- 1M h Yostei day legal holiday. Lll Gee Che rant understand how the birthdays of Goiurnhui,, Lincoln, cU , happen to fall on hgal holidays unthinking eriti.ism against hceau.se Harrow Nays, f in an autobiography, that the present sstem of fighting crime is all wrong, and that jails should be done away with. Most of us still are governed by primitive emotions. W'e wish to inflict suffering on those who "wrong society.1 We demand that a person who kills shall himself he killed although obviously that is no punishment. It may he that ;t great many persons, useless and dangerous to society, should be put ini' of the wild. If so., it should he done coldly and scientifically, in dead of in a public orgy of bloodthirsty revenge. But the question at once arises; Who i; going I" decide who goes out? We dont know the answei. We dont think anyone does. But we know the answer to the question: Does our present prison system stop crime 7 The answer is, no. IYisons are schools for crime; factories of bitterness; miners of men who might, possibly, he built into useful members of society. Harrow is right but he is some years ahead of Ids age in ideas and thought, and so lie is the target for angry criticism. As U'rtie goes on we shall gather clearer thoughts on the whole subject of crime, and Start to treat it from the scientific angle, instead of There me thine who scoff at reports reading but this department wades paini lot of thmi-on- d fully throL-occasionally 'ns m rot. a .sweet little storv . . u m reed is thr we r.a f l report of .nr department tu jfootl deal of Harrow, 1932. 3, 1 Now You Tell an field Newspaper C FEBRUARY SATURDAY. MAKE United States Depository CaciieVmley Banking Company COMMERCIAL - TRUJT - JAVIN6J J . |