OCR Text |
Show LEW FREE PRESS, LE11I, UTAH cap m JUST SLIPS ALONG OUR COMIC SECTION I BELLS M TIMES HAVE CHANGED Do you really think times have changed, my dear?" said a young man to her grandmother. I think they have," said the old "Why, when a husband retjv. urns home from the office on the 17 now and discoveis his wife sewing bv cy on a tiny garment, it means a new only one thing she's making Philadelphia Bulevening dress." Tavotite ?2ecipe of the Week ' 0 II Events in the Lives of Little Men vA.IL ! ; package Ice cream powder (vanilla, strawberry, lemon, maple, or cuoca. late If! I I ' "Ever notice what a light step that cop has?" "Oh, yes, he wears cork-sole- d shoes." ' FREE DELIVERY cream powder, stirring until dis- -! solved. Pour into freezer can; place in freezer and pack mixture of cracked ice and salt around can (use 8 parts ice to 1 part salt). Turn slowly for 3 minutes, then rapidly and continuously til frozen. Makes lhi quarts tew i Any of the following may b substituted for milk in this reo--I lpe: 1 quart rich milk or light cream, 1 cup cream and 3 cups milk, or 2 cups evaporated milk and 2 cups milk or water. With chocolate Ice cream powder, add 4 cup sugar. FIRE! FIRE! The "That pretty singer out front must stamps writing to her admirers." "Oh, no, her voice carries her use a good many tmt notes!" AND EMPTIED OUT mm "I understand the speaker delivers his talk with burning eloquence." "Well, the one I henrd yesterday incendiary." Simple A traveling salesman, dtaii.ed in a certain village overnight, was introduced in the town's hotel to a and a set crazy little billiard-tabld balls of a uniform, dirty-grae lw y color. "But how do you tell the red from white?" he asked. "Oh,"' replied the landlord, "you toon get to know them by their shape." Newark Firefax. the Sharing Discomfort Doctor (who has been sent for at 2 a. m.) Madam, send at once for the clergyman, and, if you want to make your will, for the lawyer. "Good gracious! Is it so danger ous, doctor?" "Not a bit of it; but I don't want to be the only one who has been disturbed in his sleep for nothing." Stray Stories Magazine. 1 JUL; I $10,000 per" said " Haps," quietly. the much." The maid said: "I know yoost how you feel. My brother, he bane in yaol sax times since last April." U) -- - she isn't y f'' f "HI - ( - e.u22ir ifc - -- I'LL IF SHE cam Jrm STUOC I Optimist There is always room at the top. Pessimist Yes, and it would be just my luck to find, after I got there, that the blamed thing had been turned upside down. f A GET Son Francisco A HAMMER (On way fart from Ogden or Salt Laht City, good in coacbet or chair cart.) We have the FASTEST TRAINS n to San Francisco, all meals on tha J air-co- Pacific Limited. f 3 1 ROUND TRIP to San Franripalpr That ctatnp is rpallv worth $100, but there being a little chip off here, I will sell it to you for $80. Customer Can't you break off another little chip and let me have it for $60? R LO,D&AR.' BACK 2 H i i VOU r- - E 1 srS SEEMSti To BE r l DM rKC .. ... SURE r-- HAVE BEEM BUSy vaIHILE yod VJERE -i . . i . . i .. KilT SOME i TuJr-r- P' j i i A j I D Br A -- v Ty Osborne iffjifl K F x I 41 val? I m ''''' ''' WW ' ' '' play?" "Reliable. If he's your partner you can always depend on him to leave the burden of winning to you." SHTOP A back KAPE LOISH- T- up now BACKiM' TILL 6l 9 "What sort of golf does Jones be vez BLIMP? WAL-cre- sT AM' NEWEST HOSTELRY i4T&. E PASSIM' D. R. Owen. Gen. Aft, 5., Sail Lain City So. Main r a ft I rr if ' c HOTEL NEEDS THE PROOF II i Dept. A. Our lobby Is delightfully air cooled daring tbe summer months Radio tor Every Room 200 Room 200 Baths km?1 fl rlv For information SALT LAKE'S PEOTS " S Pacific Senilism utitt -- OUT ( tKJt cisco; $32 ROUNDTRIP to Los Angeles via San Francisco both fares good in standard Pullmans (berth extra). ON THE GREEN FLIES T. i.ii VJI'1-- IJ nv CONTROL Fellow-feelin- g Mrs. Brown has a new Swedish maid, who said one day after the holidays, "Mrs. Brown, where bane your son?" Mrs. Brown said, "Oh, he has gone back to Yale, and I miss him WcLL-MO- TL manager Worse "Your husband has been ill," said the caller. "Yes," replied the little, worried- looking woman, "he has been feel- ing very bad. I do my best to please him, but nothing seems to satisfy him." "Is his condition critical?" "It's worse than critical," she answered with a sigh, "it's abusive." I KSSPamv Quite So A comedian was trying to impress the manager of a .nusic hall by telling him of the magnificent offers he had had from American managers. "Yes," he said enthusiastically, "they want me over there if I can spare a few weeks, and I'm to have so un--S cream. letin. was flavor) Add milk very gradually to ic UfTl4i1 All Freezer Ice Cream. quart milk 1 1 Temple Square tsK ft) Rates $1.50 to $3.00 A Tha Hotel Templa Scfnar haa a highly desirable, friendly atmosYou will phere. alwayaflndltlmmao ulata, aupremely comfortable, andtboroaahly aftreeable.Yon can therefor anderatand why thla hotel lai niGHLY RECOMMENDED You cam also appreciate whys f fa mark of distinction to atop MUST BE TRUE t t tfsfa beautiful hostelry Teacher Do you know that George Washington never told a lie? Bright Pupil No, ma'am; I only ERNEST C. ROSSITER, Mgr. a nai.iMaia-aaaa-aMiilaIM- il IM hear it. kjh WE "I suppose Jane's going to wear men's clothes now." L""."- HIS BASS SOLO PHOTOGRAPHY "What makes you think that?" "I hear she's accepted Paul's ROLLS DEVELOPED ildnnble welrhtenlarrementa, 14 print orprlnu wltboni jour choice cofonto. enlanrmtnui tUiprliita fto 8 suit." NORTHWEST rarge Haven of Refuge Small boy (on arrival at countrj cottage) Mummy, where is the bathtub? Mother There isn't any bathtub, Easy to Rehearse First Friend What part in the Play are they giving you? Second Friend I'm to be the heroine's father. First Friend What does he do? Second Friend He dies five years before the curtain rises on the first act. Potent Stuff Customer Can you guarantee this ntt wrinkle cream? ' Chemist Madam, it would smooth Corrugated iron, North Da "What was the feature of the JUST Byughlin g-- wNtt Weekly Profits made aelllng tool set to RaraRes. No competition.special Write MESCO, Box t0!il Beaver City, Nebr. S2!W con- cert last night?" "Jimmy Bass sang 'Rocked in the Cradle of the Deep.' " Small boy Good! This is going to be a real holiday. Edinburgh Dispatch. together." PHOTO SCRVICa AGENTS dear. Very Useful "Tomrcy, can you tell me one of the uses of cowhide?" "Er, yes, sir. It keeps the cow - WNU U.-.-2Sf- NEEDS THE PUNCH To Get Rid of Acid and Poisonous Waste y On His Way Back Teacher 1 see you like reading travel books, Tommy. But you are reading it backwards. Tommy Yes, .acher. I'm on the Pearson's return journey, now. Your kidneys help to keep yoa wfl filterinf wssta maUer from the blood. If your kidneys ret disordered and (ail to functionally remove eixeas impurities, there may be polsoninc of ftia nbola aystem bb4 body-widlstreaa. Burning, scanty or too frequent urU nation may be a warning of soma kidney or bladder disturbance. You may suffer nagging backache, persistent headache, attacks of dissineas, getting np nights, swelling, puftlneaa under the eyes I eel weak, nervous,' si played out. In such eases It Is better to rely on s medicine that has won country-wid- e acclaim than on something leas favor ably known. Use Dean a PilU. A mirlti. tude of grateful people rswmrsanil Mas a. am sear aetoaeon by constantly TELLING WIFEY Weekly. Traveler Teacher Some fish travel long "Do jrou think he'll ever go distances. Can anyone give me an instance? ahead?" Scholar Yes, sir; a goldfish. It "Not till he tets a good backing round the globe every day. travels up." 2937 A HABIT ) I W wonder what 1 saw in Wifey you to admire when I married you. Hubby My nerve, I guess. 1 "Has your cook been with you long?" "With us! She's been against us almost from the start." I |