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Show LEHI FREE LEHI, UTAH I tMnk that fellow . Emithsoa's the luckiest fellow alive," said Hayes to bis fellow worker. "Lucky V repeated the other. "1 dont call It lucky to be Injured Ilk I I " . ft CUOHT TO N-K- II i WlTE f'.Vfl f .III A TTi I i COUNT HIM OUT ANp A PENALTy ToTEACHERs' The minister advertised for man servant, and next morning a nicely dressed young man rang the belL "Can you start the fire and get breakfast by seven o'clock?" asked the minister. "I guess so," answered the young t man. "Well, can you polish all the silver, wash the dishes and keep the house neat and tidy?" "Say, parson," said the young fellow, "I came here to see about getting married, but if it's going to be as much work as all that, you can count me out s right now." Magazine. Tit-Bit- PROOF ENOUGH - w FEATHERHEADS HOW Farewell to Loans HOW A&OUT DONALD? ARE VoU OUT Itf. CAMPAIGN - MAKINGHbti 1b COLLECT SOUR. A PUiat "It's all the fault of the opposition party," said Senator Sorghum, who had been reproached by a friend for bis lack of achievements. "As Is the "Then you can recommend Dobbs case with everything that goes as a man of good character?" wrong, It's all their fault." "'o, merely as a man of ' good "But you were elected," was the response. "Of course. But they keep me so . Diplomacy busy worrying for fear I won't get The Sraythes were very fond of back for another term that I have their baby. ' hardly any time left for saving my "Which side of our house do you country.' think h8 most resembles?" Smytbe demanded of their bnchelor neighbor. The other was anxious to say the Hopeful : Conductor Are you hurt? right thing. "I don't know, old chap," he anHilarious Victim You bet 1 am! I knew my rabbit's foot would bring swered haltingly. "I can't see that me luck. I'll bet you Ave to one he looks very much like the side f a bouse.' . Tm badly damaged. MORE SATISFACTION CAMT DE BOUGHT , SHE be was." "But be doeent have to work now," said Hayes. "I know be doesnt, you heartless bis companion brute," replied warmly. "But you don't understand me, explained Uayea. "lie's retting com ERROR SOMEWHERE pensation now. whereas most of bis have lost their former fellow workers ' The film director was making a Jobs." real thriller and working very hard NOT THE SAME . to get action Into It Finally, be turned from the brink of the cliff, mopped his brow, and glanced at a dummy made of straw and e'd clothes lying on the ground beside him. "Good heavens 1" he shouted. "Who was It we threw over the cliff T TIP Voii SEE HM? BET HE PIDN't PAY f ROM PEBTcRS? YOU UlMi NOT A RED. J CENT DID I tf&T IF HE HAD HIS !!.' VMOULD IT BE A minor operation! FORsV kates." RE- CONSCIENCE MOVED "They are married." "What makes you think so?" "I Just heard him ask her If she r as going to learn to put on her own Getting Her Mm "I know what's passing In your "I know, mind," said the maiden. too, why you are calling here night after night, appropriating my time to yourself and keeping other nice You want me to young men away. marry you, don't you?" "I I do !" gasped the astonished young man. "I thought so. Very well, I will." Montreal Star. , . Ha Got It Magistrate What were yon doing vith your hand in this gentleman's vatch pocket? Erls3 3 HE DOES THE TTIZZ7zllP KOUU 1&P OF H'S 1 Hf AL?Sv T H CLOSED WENT TO SEE HAP HIS HE HIM; WHEN CirUPPOPipl FAr4PA6ED Jr JJ:d' he " worked he had Art . PE5 sudpenly and I - I was only anxious to find Prisoner he time. The time Is six months. Magistrate Three Ones Little Jack, who was Just learning 0 count, heard the clock strike three. "Mummy," he said excitedly, "the lock has Just struck one three times, Home Amenities I can't decide whether to go 0 a palmist or to a mind reader. Husband Go to a palmist. It's ob- ious that you hae a palm. Wife NEVER, NEVER Never have trouble on cold mornings starting your motor Just buy Conoco Bronze Gasoline that gives instant start-- i n g a n d b e 1 1 e r w i n te r performance , . . For full motor protection f i with Conoco Germ Proc-ess1 1 ed Paraffin Base Motor Oil with "Hidden Quart" Penetration . At fled Triangle 23 v Stations - Spreading Roomers OF THE FORCE PARDON ME; OFFICER.- - W ask if You've BSEH OM this seat. i Y You ARE FAMlUIAtVJlTH Tup BPmciiTt THIS SECTiON? If POWKI MEZ. nc 1 SCHMIDT OULD MOM SHUR6 7H' HERE 7( LIE I STHREET iff : in nucu - tUni UoDDie J AN WANTEp To -- MM A mowu CREDIT WAN FROM THE . M AA .ww a I iC 5TorE PLEMTV O MOKJEY just piSCOVKRED jve aw- d- I ivfiMA HIS . SEX-H- B'S' out UN ABsAfiB VAIUIL- V- Ri.MTED WERV ROOM OF HIS THAT'S BlJ- - HOUSE vjHY he moved HE'S THAT V 11 THAT'S tfiST WHUTO ONMA TELL VJUt ue is? whv ' Center of Things 1 - w iu" under-stoo- d things are planned, it's NEWIIOI'SEI THE they'll be at Almost every important event social or basincss has for its locale Salt Lake'a W1IEN Hitch IJ.-i.- y 1 Finest Hotel. That accounts for its overwhelming popularity among' guests, tool The Newhouse Hotel Salt Lake In" nna nhlPO In ' n 'anada a prospective bridegroom has a certificate showing n nroduce here's nothing the matter with him. Bobble Well, what I'd like to know who wants to get g how any feila a narrled these days could ever get use eruncaie Few Only Teacher Johnny, do you know the 'wtntiln tion of Montreal? ' all of them, miss; we Johnny-- Not here long. lived haven't TO SPECIAL IoteraonntaJn Doable Rate Single Rate, Plus 50c 12.00 to $100 Sing! Doable ....12.50 to 14.50 All Outside Rooms Each With Private Bath Garage Facilities Not Guilty The constable says you were Judge speeding. Judge; I was on way to I'odunk to gei mj ujuc. Motorist-List- my Adjoining: en, UCr 11". Judge !'? Discharged. n You were not j. 0 V mm . UgJI .. HOTEL peeding. Feared the Wort "He said you were what?" "Uconic." thnt tnean? Rut I gave h!m one on "Dimno. s.ue. Lhe nose to be on tue sate 1 AAV I never tell any- f never cossln. I can prove unless anyone about hing t to be absolutely true. "Dear me, how mean!" 11 WAU HE'S ALU ROI HE'S MAKlN' iff Wslers President Mrs. J. H. .OUSE W. E. Snlton Oeoersl Manager Chinnrfi V9. West Au'l Gfo'l Mansrer |