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Show BBbBB IflBBB t- flflflfll 'jLi - STT-Lfll H Tfll fll 4 &-' aPc??- -v, flflfll ,i Savors of the Iruth. "Somo of tho patients hero earn as mueh as 100 a wpek." said tho superintendent super-intendent of tho asylum for tho hopo-lowly hopo-lowly Insane. i, Y-)U don't sayl" oxclalmed tho as-tonlshod as-tonlshod visitor. "How do thoy do It?" "By writing comic opera librettos," explained tho superintendent-Poor superintendent-Poor Thing. Nell I wondor what Miss PaBsoy Is joins with that translation of Virgil's flSneld. Trying to appear learned, eh? Belle Oh. nol Sho picked It up In a book store to-day nnd tho opening lino about "arms and tho man" attracted attract-ed her. A Mean Advantage. "Ho's about tho meanest whlto man I over met." "At any rate, ho's successful. Ho haB taken advautago of his opportunities." opportuni-ties." "Ah! Ills opportunities were small, no doubt; another proof of his meanness," mean-ness," Quite Apparent, Sho You know, Judge, our characters charac-ters nro different, and I don't want to bo In his way-He way-He Yes, jour honor, sho Is peculiar, pecu-liar, and I don't want to lntorfero Judge I undorstnnd. You nsk for a dlvorco out of pure lovel ' AN APPEAL. Young Lawyer So you won't lot mo marry your daughter, sir?" Father No! Young Lawyer Thon I'm going to tnko my caso to a higher court Father What do you mean? Young Lawyer I'm going to ask your wife. t Thought It Blackmail. Tho bibliomaniac (showing his treasures) Hero Is a book that cost mo $1G,000. Tha society man You'm au easy mark, I must say. Tho blbllomanlao (warmly) Easy? Why, I was ready to pay twice that sum for ltl Tho society man Great cats! tWhat sort of a pasuhave you, -anyway? Puck. The Homeless Mut. . Kind Lady Is that your dog? Hrmcless Holmes Yes, mum; ho's mo -nly friend. Kind Lady Woll, why don't you treat him bettor? Ho looks half-Btarvod. half-Btarvod. Homeless Holmes Ye seo, mum, uo p?or mut has tor cat do kind of grub folks gives mo er go hungry. So ho don't eat often. At the Boarding House. Tho Intelligent Boarder Yob, we havo reachod tho tlmo of year when mind and body crave lighter sustenance. suste-nance. Let ua then avoid all thoughts of things that aro heavy heavy clothing, heavy rending, heavy food. Tho Landlady Spongo cako, Mr. Emorson? -Tho Intelligent Boarder Certainly not l Barred. "Do you think a rich man can enter tho gates of heaven I" askod tho. In-timato In-timato friend. "No," answored Mr. Packer. "I don't" "And why not?" "Woll, I'll toll you. A rich man. as a general rulo, owns an automobile, and there's no hopo for a murderer," Taken at Her Word. "Put down that glaas!" commanded Mrs. Shrue, catching her husband In tho act of taking a drink at whisky. "If you drink that I'll nover speak to you again as long as I live." "My dear," said ho, gulping It down, "hero's long llfo to you!" His Usefulness at an End. Mossongor Mr. Spotcasb, thero has bcon a street car accident, and Mr. Noxtilo has had his leg cut off Just bo-low bo-low tho knee. Great Merchant (with emotion) I am ruly Borry to hear It! He was our boat floorwalker. A Criticism. Mrs. Phamley I supposo you'vo son that now book on "What To Do Until thoDoctor Comes"? Dr. Gruff Yes, and I'd llko to wrlto a companion book to that. Mrs. Phamloy What would It be? Dr. Gruff Don't. j All Crazy. Cltlzn-4whnt possible 'oxcuse did you fellows havo for acquitting that murderer? j JurymanS-Insanlty. fJItlzen Goo! Tho wholo twelvo of you. Clovejnnd Leader. I A Sad Case. Blanche I think It ia a mistake to propose by llsttor. i Clara Sometimes. 1 know a man Who did it .and tho girl aald yes, and I'm sure ho'alboen eorry for It slnco. J How It Impressed Him. Mrs. Whlttlor Lowoll In disobeying mo, Emorson, you wero doing 'wrong, and I am punishing ou to Impress It upon your mind! Emorson Aren't , you mistaken, mamma, In regard to tho location of my mind? Life. Paste. "I seo that tho women who claim to possess vnluablo Jewels aro having them Insured ngalnst theft." "Camilla La Fleur wouldn't care for that, "Because sho's nn actress?" "No." "Why, then." "Bccnuso nobody would steal them." No pause for Worry. "I have, a horror of bolng burled alive." "Who la your physician?" "Dr. Dopem." "Then you needn't worry. His proscriptions pro-scriptions are always fatal. Chicago Nows. A Blessing In Disguise. "Say, old mati, I have a terrible thirst" "Pardon me, my boy; a thirst is never terrible" No Place for Ladfei, HBBl "In Brussels," said Mr. Gazztnglbn, flflflfll "It Is necessary far travelers by rail to . HHJ pay regular rates on ovcry plcco of flH baggago thoy carry." flH "Dear me," replied his wlfo, who ,B wns getting rendy to start away with seven trunks for n thrco weeks' stay flH on tho const of Maine, "what a bore It BH must bo to havo to llvo in that horrl- flHH bio country!" BHfl They Were Pleasant, Too. iSflH "What did that gentleman mean 'HH when ho asked If your environment ' flH wnB pleasant?" asked tho younger HflB flflfll "Oh, ho meant tho things which flH woro nround mo whllo I was In Uio flHfl country," replied tho older ono. BH "Well, Julia, I nover heard mon's H arras called by that namo before." BBB.I BBBJ An Excuse. HB "Seo hero!" exclaimed the employ- flfll cr. "You're entirely too slow when ' ' BBBJ yott'ro out on nn errand. Why don't , flBH you move faster?" 'BBBJ "Well, I'll toll you," replied tho BH bright office boy. "Onco when our y .flVfl school gavo a play I took tho part bt ' fll an old man, nnd, do you know, I don't ' BBBJ bellovo I over got over it." B Shifting His Prayer Burden. c !. A boy of 4 years was saying his ! evening prayers. Ho was very sloopy, MflH but ho started In on his customary ori- ( BBBJ son of considerable length. HB "God bless me nn llttlo Bister," ho tflflflj said. Then ho yawned drowsily and Bflflj broko off abruptly with; "Tho rest of AflflJ them aro big enough to pray for them tfljBfl Gallant Mr. Bralx. lvi Miss Elderlelgh Just 'think, Mr. flflfl Bralx, I am within ten years of 36! , . Mr. Bralx I can't bellovo It ,flfll Miss Elderlolgh That's sweet of. - ' you but It's true. ial Mr. Bralx--Well, If anybody elso !- had told mo J on wero 4f I'd havo said -J ifll thoy wero flvo years oft anyhow, Freakish. '5" LflH "I saw a troupo of educated seals" ! last night. Wondorful crcaturesnre'n't''-' thoy?" "'"- $.fc' fH "Yes; but what would you think ottft li black basB that can sing?" v, t ABB "Get out!" . . vBBfl "It's a fact I'vo seen dozens of 'eA j flflfl In negro minstrel shows" Detroit j jflH Tribune. j' BBI Cause and Effect. j Hfl Hlx Do Short has been drinking a jBBJ good deal lately. I understand. ' BBJ Dlx Yes; ho's trying to drown hit 'BBJ H Hlx Disappointed in love, eh? BBJ Dlx No. His tailor refused to trust ' 'BBJ him nny longer. flfl , jjjjjjjjjj Suspicious. BBJ Friend Don't you want your name flBi on 'History's pngo? B Millionaire What will it cost and what will sho print about mo It I BBJ jBBJ "" H An Accommodating Friend, BJ ''Aro you fond of music, doctor?" BBl "Yes, but don't let that interfere BBJ with your singing." flH LIKE A POKER GAME. H flflj She MaisUi Is a queen, fit to marry a king, and Just think bow star sho camo to marrying that old Jack! jBfl Ho Is that straight? BJ She Yes, sho thought he was flush. M Let It Go at That. The heavy villain of the burn storming storm-ing aggregation stalked Into tho workshop work-shop of tho village editor. "What did you mean bj' referring to mo as n 'misfit' In your write-up of tho performance last night?" ho roared, "I meant." answered the local mold-or mold-or of opinion, "thnt you wore entirely loo great for tho company you were with." And tho heavy villain, being a stranger to tho ways of the village editors, belloud him. r A Gilded Pill. H Suitor Fifteen thousand dollnrs! 9 A splendid dowry, Mr. Isaacsteln! fljj But j'ou know your daughter Is decld- H cdly plain. flj Ianncstoln Veil, don, I make it H tvonty tousnnd. H "By Jove! Twonty thousand! She's, ' jH not so bad looking, after all but still BJ Bhe'fi hardly beautiful." BJ J' Vat Den I make It tvonty flvo fl ton sum! tollansl" M "My dear Mr. Isnncsteln, what ), " fl wonderful beauty doctor you arol" ' flj -'N 1 |