Show THE 2L Oemi-Month- Paper ly Scents Sense and Uonsense Devoted to Cents SALT LAKE CITY DECEMBER VOL 2 “XEW MOTE” B4I-LOOJ8AC- 15 1870 20 NO Y i Billy — “How’s that for high?” Bishop Perris — “We must raise her a little more she out that sack of ballast labelled ‘Common Sense — Henry “Why that’s the last sack of ballast on board!” — “Never mind out with it we’ve gone too far to B 1 uuwn now” Lyman — “For the land’s sake don’t throw out any more ballast She drifts about so that she’s entirely unmanageable now” Bishop Silver — “I say look here ! This here gas is a giving out I” Billy — “Which gas?” B S — “Why the ‘Harrassing’ gas” Billy — “Oh never mind we’ve got enough of the Lyman to keep her afloat six months yet” Sherman — “See here let her down a little I want to get out “I can’t live on air all the time” B S — “Can’t back down now If you must get out you’ll have to jump and take the chances” Sherman — “Well then here goes” Leaps over the side and disappears) P CoTOjjmtdMce Messrs Uno Hoo & Co: Gentlemen — The undersigned would most respectfully request that you tone down our advertisements a little- in order that we may not be harassed f to death by the purchasers of our goods We don’t object so much to the tumultuous multitudes in the daytime but we can’t have our rest broken by excited throngs of peo- and surging against our §le shouting all night jong It’s too much of a good thing besides it’s wearing the paint off our new stores Signed on behalf ) TEASDEL & Co T- - City J G W Taylor Dais ' If we' have received one letter like the above we have received a thousand Gentlemen we regret very much that you should be inconvenienced in the manner you describe You must either enlarge your premises or hire more help and run your stores night and day As you must be aware we cannotchange our style of advertising neither will the public be satisfied until their wants are supplied They rely upon us to direct them and when we tell them to go for a man they go and we trust to you not to abuse the ' confidence they repose in us Rolling stock-ca- ttle on railways Spiritual Facts is the key by which many gain an entrance into our prisons and That whisky That biandy brands the noses af all who cannot govern their appetites That wine causes many to take a winding way home That punch is the cause of many unfriendly punches That ale causes many ailings while beer brings many to their bier That champagne is the cause of many real pains have “slewed” more That than the slings of old That the reputation of being i fond of cccktails'is not a feather in any man’s gin-slin- CaP v |