Show rp M -- pr mn r A VOL Paper Devoted to Cents Scents) Sense and Nonsense Semi-Month- ly 2 SALT LAKE CITY' JUNE 15 1870 8' NO t M TIIE NEW f LUCIFER— soliloquizing)-- 11 THEY SEEM TO THINK THE LITTLE END OF TEE lBTG HORN EXPEDITION' IS A PRETTY TIGHT FIT THE MtLLS OF THE GODS GRIND SLOWLY BUT PRINMINE WORKS ON A WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF CIPLE THEIR ARRIVAL SO SOON?” HIGH-PRESSU- CORRESPONDENCE Paris Cash Uno Hoo & Co: Our last mail brought us the intelligence that the Utah Central Railroad was In your next issue inform us completed where this line begins and where it termiWe have but one New Mover nates Old in this valley and he is Sine Die held a post mortem coroner jury on him the other day and brought in the verdict that the why of his bald head was because he wore a lasso in his hat to catch other people’s horses The way this brother happened to get on the Messrs bald-heade- d d move was by unconsciously sitting down on a Pea-an- t lull too long with summer clothes on Parties wishing first class movements of Their own can try this plan and see how they like it — they will find it works lively te r j “IN A HORN” MOVE PROGRESSING j''f rf j NEW MO VER S—loq MORE PRIESTHOOD ! NO MORE TITHING! THE DEVIL IS DEAD! : NO MORE TAXES! NO MORE NOTHIN’! HURRAH FOR THE ‘INWARD MONITOR’ AND THE SHORT OUT TO PARADIS E !” j “NO The people in this valley have just learned through a highly inspirational sister who runs a peep stone that the Mormon! Battalion never wentthrough Mexico into California because they had to but because they wanted to with the Government jn consideration of its good will and feelings evinced in the drive from Missouri Massacre an Haun’s Mill Carthage the expulsion from Nau-voand a few other signal favors heaped ' " upon them! Oh you foolish Orthodox! Don’t you know that the Mormons and the Government have always Didn’t in New they magnanimously York in Ohio in Missouri in Illinois in the subjugation of Mexico and California in 1857p Qf course they did is what’s the ail with many of us and the probability is if there had been no there would have been no Nuw Move Whether its the mercantileco- 1 it 14 operation that creates new movements or the Woman’s Right' 'movement— Quien sale! ” ' Saxey the debating Notjhaying heard-frosocieties in relation to” the" conundrum “Why do hens always lay eggs in the a cotemporary answers “Because at night they are roosters” vu ” heal thyself Within a Physician Townsend whose Sarsaparilla cures everything and Radway whose Ready Relief cures everything and Swain whose all have died Panacea cures everything week A sardonic opponent of woman’s-right- says it is a great’convenience tohave women as postmistresses5 They can not only inform an applicant if there is a letter for him without looking hut cati tell him what’s in it - Lw ! t Q |