| Show THEIiEEPAPITOHININ 10 Con tinned from first page Wilson’s son the moral boy the good little boy of the village who always obeyed his mother and never told an untruth and was fond of his lessons and infatuated with Sunday School When the knife dropped from the cap and poor George hung his head and blushed as if in conscious guilt and the grieved teacher charged the theft upon him and was just in the very act of bringing the switch down upon his trembling shoulders a d improbable justice of the the peace did not suddenly appearin their midst and strike an attitude and say — “Spare this noble boy— there stands the I was passing the cowering culprit! school door at recess and Unseen myself 1 saw the theft committed”" And then Jim didn’t get whaled and the veneiable justice didn’t read tne tearful school’ a homily and take George by the hand and say that such a boy ought to be exalted and then tell him to come and make his home with him and sweep out the 'office and make fires and run errands and chop wood and study law and help his wife to do household labors and have all ot the rest of the time to play and get forty No it cents a month and be happy would have happened that way in the hooks but it didn’t happen that way to Jim No meddling old clam of a justice happened in to make trouble and so the model boy George got thrashed and Jim was glad of it because you know Jim hated moral boys Jim was “down on them milksops ” Such was the coarse language of this bad neglected boy But the strangest thing that happened to Jim was the time he went boating on Sunday1 and didn’t get drowned and that other time that he got caught out in the storm when he was out fishing on Sunday and didn’t get struck with lightning Why your might look and look and look through the Sunday School books from now till next Christmas and you would never come across anything like this Oh nol you would find that all the bad boys who go boating on Sunday invariably get drowned and all the bad boys who get caught out in storms when they are out Sunday infallibly get struck bv lightning Boats with bad boys in them always upset on Sunday and it always storms when bad boys go fishing on the Sabbath How this Jim ever escaped is a mystery to me This Jim bore a charmed life that must have been the way of it Nothing could hurt him He even gave the elephant in the menagerie not in our home menagerie —Ed Keep a plug of tobacco and the head elephant didn’t knock the top of hisaround He browsed off with haL trunk the cupboard after essence of peppermint and didn’t make a mistake and drink aaua fords He stole his father’s guu anil went hunting on the Sabbath and didn’t shoot three or four of his fingers off He struck his little sister on the tem-1)- 1 e with hisrfistjwhen he was angry and sheT didn’t linger in pain through long summer days and die with sweet words of forgiveness upon her lips that redoubled the anguish'of his breaking heart He ran off and No she got over it irent to sea at last and didn’t come back ' to find himself sad and alone in the worlds white-haire- his loved ones sleeping in the quiet and the churchyard home of his childhood tumbled down and Ah! no he came home oing to decay runk as a piper and got into the station-hous- e the first thing And he grew up and married and raised a large family and brained them with an ax one night and got wealthy by all manner of cheating and rascality and now he is the internalist wicked scoundrel in his native village and is universally respected and belongs to the Legislature So you see there never was a bad James in the Sunday School books that had such a streak of luck as this sinful James with the charmed life : CULLUM’S DREAM (He falls asleep on a stool in the hack-yar- d Moves his hands occasionally and muiters incoherently in his sletp) We knew by the awful and kingly look And the order hastily spoken That he dreamed of the days when the nation shook Ere Cullom’s Bill was broken He dreamed that he sat on a great red throne In a marble palace grand That in boundless power and endless state He ruled with an iron hand He saw before him a parchment scroll An extensive and fearful pill That seemed to extend from pole to pole And hefireamed it was Cullom’s Bill With a flashing eye he waved his wand And Congress cringed and licked his hand His voice rang out from shore to shore And died away in a hollow roar With a dauntless mien and a tireless will He pushed along his famous Bill No rest by day no sleep by night But he urged it on with a monarch's might For his righteous soul wa3 vexed within At beholding the Mormons’ awful sin He saw no beam in the nation’s eye But perceived a mote in the western sky— A mote in the sun of our own fair land And his soul uprises dark and grand Though his own perceptions are somewhat dim Yet the nation’s honor is dear to him ' r He dreamed that he sent a fierce command To drive them out with an armed band To tear them out from their mountain breast Without a home or a hope of rest For Mormonslie harbors aChristain hate But the Mormon goods he would confisby cate The above portrait (photographed Savage & Ottinger on the spot and engraved at a cost of something less than $500 expressly for this paper) is said to be an admirable likeness of the new Senator from Mississippi and the only colored Senator who now Bevels in the United States Senate If the disconsolate spirit of “Our defunct Hired Man” is around we hope this head will furnish another subject for his It is astonishing phrenological study how fond some people are of examining other people’s heads especially when they have none of their own He woke at length from his dreamy rule And almost tumbled of the stool At finding himself a woak old man With none to assist his cherished plan So “Peter’s” crusade may not start out Or if it does it may peter out B MC’GREGOR OH! Tune— Rob Roy Who sells the Keepapitciiinin? C B McGregor oh! Who’s bound to make a pile of tin? 0 B McGregor oh! — If you should want for pens or ink V Or need a book with pictures pink NUMEROUS CORRESPONDENTS Or anything thatyou can think — “— See 0 B McGregor oh! We trust no one will take offense at the exclusion of any article that may be McGregor’s News Depot opposite the Office Ogden The fact is we Post sent us for publication hosts of such communications (for receive NEW SUBSCRIBERS which the' writers will please accept our The 1st 2d and 3d editions NoJ of thanks) and although they may be equalthis paper were all sold long ago we are is it utterly impossible to crowd consequently compelled to commence late ly good all into the limits of our paper at once subscriptions with No 2 t ( : ' ’ 'TO ' 20 |
