Show ns— THE A Oemi-BXonth- Paper ljr Devoted to Cents SALT LAKE CITY JANUARY YOL 2 Sense and Uonsense Scents 1 1870' 21 NO THE SITUATION! Mr Utah—' '‘There you go boys! I told you you would hurt yourselves climbing on that pole I knew it was be a lesson ’ Well I hope it will a rotten stick but you would play with it and now you must suffer the consequences fer you ‘Experience is a dear school but children and certain classes will learn in no other Bily — “Oh dear! I believe this fall will break my mercantile back Elis — “I’m blowed if this won’t knock all the wind out of me Aaa — “What a fall is here! You and I and all of us fall down! degraded humanity and the teeming millions of earth’s unborn What will now become of poor weak fallen che-ildre- Bribery Defeated Dr Manvers the clergyman of a small village says: — “A heavy countryman was accustomed to enter the church with regularity compose himself in a comfortable seat and go to sleep for the whole of the In order to break the countryservice habit I gave a man of this lad a shilling to sit beside the slumberer and by continually twitching at his ’garThe plan for ments keep him awake the first Sunday answered so admirably that on the next I offered a similiar bribe for a like service The conscientious lad refused the offer saying that the man had already given him twice the sum to allow him a quiet rest’” r An Improved Deader A Western editor purposes to substitute one containing the following samples: She is a “The goose is on her roost fine quadruped and1 has a tenor voice Can the goose fly far? No neither the goose nor the rhinoceros can fly far This is the gas works It is a high All our Congressmen are born building here Do Congressmen ever steal ? Here is a picture of a widow See how Her husband could not sad she looks her dry goods bill and so he— died' Eayyou think she will get another man? She will try hard The favorite novel of office-seeke- rs yourself in his place” SuRAPS Somebody has discoverd that in forty r devotes twenty-fou- r years a months to blowing his nose snuff-take- “Pa said a little friend of ours what’s the use of giving our little pigs so much milk ? They make hogs of them- selves”' : v ' orr ur soup Pa walked away ficiied his guests Of borne peoping “had never happened ° wa? very sorry a°d shocked ' readilyuch a thing should have occured the fcouse he trusted Pat would not aion it and he was at liberty to order ything the house contained and it —iould not cost him a cent— which he Mediately did im-“P- °' A disturbed preacher remarked: A musician in giving : notice of an ' said a gentleman to his Pompey “If that cross-eyelady in the side tended concert thus expressed it: not know until y aisle with red hair and blue bonnet don’t that “During the evening a number of sonservan !I last week” stop talking I must point her out to the may be expected too tedious: to “Didn’t you massa?” replied Pompey congregation” ‘I— I know’ d it jist de time it occurred” -- d - meiyhipped A |