Show THE KEEPA'PIT CHININ A VOICE FROM DIXIE I lived on Cottonwood and owned a little farm But I was called to Dixie’s land which did me much alarm To raise old cain and cotton I right away must go But the reason why they called on me I’m sure I do not know I yoked old Jim and Bawley up all for to make a start But to leave my house and garding it almost broke my heart I rolled along quite slpwly and often looked behind For the rocks and sand of Dixie’s land kept drifting through my mind Oh! when I reached the Sandy I could not move at all For poor old Jim and Bawley began to - pulT and I whipped loll it slide But the wagon dragged so heavily that Betsy couldn’t ride Now as Betsy was a walking I warned her to take air When all upon a sudden she struck a prick Then she began to bellow as loud as she could bawl — was in Cottonwood back I I if Saying wouldn’t come at all ar I’ve had the chills and fever and almost shook to death While hot winds whirled around me to take away my breath My poor old Jim and Bawley have long been dead r And the wagon sold for make a little bread to d sorgnum-see- — we’re rich But now the desert blossoms - r in fruit and vine a when we’re And Cottonwood drinking Dixie wine The winds are tempered surely— we’re : fattening day by day - d And drive our Bet away double-barrele- P Ersecuted says— “I am a young man 19 years of age I have always lived with my parents but have led the life of (a dog I consider that my parents haveuedme shamefully from my earliest recollection I am naturally of a playful disposition but the course pursued by my parents has been calculated to break my spirit They insist upon my working more or less every day My feelings are very tender sometimes they can’t ask me to bring an armful of wood but I’ll burst into tears And I have a natural aversion to all kinds of study and work Now I do not wish to run away I don’t know where to run to what would you advise?’’ W e advise you to purchase a cane but if you can’t afford to buy a cane part your hair in the middle night Mehitabelle 17th ward— No the The sod with their steel pens turning--B- y Editor is not married either temporally or the misty Tribune's flickering light Before answering your quesspiritually And their lanterns dimly burning tion we would like you to give us a faithLightly they’ll talk of the spirit that’s gone ful invoice of what property you have And o’er his cold ashes upbraid him available and how many poor relatives him reck if he’ll let But nothing they’ll you have living after which send us your sleep on And the world will not know but they photograph state age whether you have been married and if so how much paid him YVrite “private” on the corner on the enPeace to his ashes ! velope as Ubet Ubliee might get bold PRESS ON! of it Since getting our printing done at the Mahoney— --Don’t know where you A Tews office it has become necessary to could find a wet nurse try the different Our sub- Female Relief Societies then the erect a large new press-rooBishops scriptions from the States and Territories and if you still fail examine the man who are daily increasing and we must have keeps the Intelligence office — Who says the people cant stand room — D M An average '(biule driver) the mule if he is promised grain occasionally press' and regularly mauled over the head with OPINIONS OF THE PRESS a fence pole will live from 180 to 1700 The reason they are so docile and “There is a comic paper started in Salt years Lake City called the Keepapitchinm — and never kick is because man and the devil it dots”— Prick Pomeroy's Democrat invented them The one that came oyer in Noah’s ark is now owned by II P V Y i “No nWd to send out of the Territory Kimball for a comic paper while the Keepapitchin in is published — Ogdtn Junction “A live paper with some vim and snap about it ” — Deseret News G W DAVIS HAS GOT SHOT AGAI- NWe could fill columns with notices in also Cod-fisCannons’ Cholera Cordial a similar strain but these are sufficient to Mustard Mustang Liniment and all the : ' show how it is appreciateid at home and delicacies of the SeAson1 abroad IFYOUWANT TO LEARN ALL ABOUT Kragin Kullom and Kolfaxand to see all? his komic feollecfcien of kards kallon C B MC’GREOOB OIK We have heard terrible rumors of the sad fate of a poor credulous creature known in certain circles as “Our Hired d Man” It appears that this individual was hired by well known parties at high wages as a literary fag but being paid in promises he died of starvation and has not been heard from A few days ago howfor some time ever his perturbed spirit appeared to his late employers when he attempted to But from correct the Keepapitciiinin the weakness of his arguments we fear he has not yet recovered from the effects of his long fast They buried him darkly at dead of the weak-minde- gold-heade- ‘ and swore devoutly with many an oath and shout But mvself and team and Betsy had all of us “gin out” But the Black Ridge proved a settler it broke my wagon down And I couldn’t get it mended for it’s twenty miles from town So I got an ugly cedar and thought I’d let ago ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS ALAS POOR YORICK! Oh! once 19 couldn’t shot-gun- s TJ PAINFUL INCIDENT Bet ’ ' f ADYERTISEMENTS A lady sends us a string of sixteen verWe have only room ses all in this strain ' for the following She wanted as any senV Tune — Rob Roy sible person would to buy the “Florence Who sells the KEErAPiTCHiNiN? sewing machine” but her brutal husband r made her purchase another kind: C B McGregor oh! ' Who’s bound to make a pile of tin? Quick! a pistol or a knifoCj For I want to end my life C B McGregor oh! left to flavor it My cup has nothing sweet and If you should waut for pens or ink I’m mourning night day Or need a book with pictures pink And my hair is turning gray Or anything thatjyou can think And all because Icouldii’t buy the favorite oh! See C Any man who would treat a woman in that way ought not to be allowed more McGregor’s News Depot opposite the Post Office Ogcbnthan two or three wives at the outside-Ei- ) ' ‘i - ? HOME Go to' b and ! James Dwyer MUSEUM AND MENAGERIE see the bears climb from 9 a in’ p m‘ i ) O a IF YOU WANT YOUR TAKEN with a high forehead and smiling ' Savage & Ottinger : “V" ' i V i ''"'"'i NOTICE TO THE PRESS ' GANG— A Small Printing Press for sale with rules typo etc all complete r of at Grimshaw J NewsloUice' o Inquire ' Double-back-ati- on |