| Show A Oemi-rSonth- ly Paper Devoted to Cents Scents Sense and Uonsense SALT LAKE CITY MARCH 15 1870 VOL 2 NO HORRIBLE STATE OF AFFAIRS IN UTAH 2 ! “MORMONS” UP IN ARMS! THE BRIGADE OF LIGHT INFANT-- R Y TAKING THE FIELD!! LOYAL CITIZENS EN MASSE FLEEING THE TERRITORY!!! FORTY THOUSAND TROOPS WANTED TO NOTHING LIKE IT IN HISTORY EXCEPTING THAT AFFAIR IN SUPPRESS THE INSURRECTION! ' ' FRANCE WHEN: The Icing of France with forty thousand men a hill and then marched down again Marched up lantern-jawe- d A long lean lank d individual with a large green cotton umbrella under one arm might have been seen last week early one morning trying all the doors on East Temple street and peering curiously in at the windows until he came to the clothing department of the stores where he saw one of the clerks putting out a placard “Puttin eout a sine be ye” Clerk ( pleasantly )'—“ Yes this generation seeketh after a sign” “Du tell! This is the coperation store ain’t it” C — “Yes this is the clothing departslab-side- ment” “Oh! its the clothin department is Want tu know! How du yeu sell molasses? By the yard I ’spose same as it? other stores?” C — “We have no molasses here” “Sold eout eh?” C (snappishly) — “No! we don’t keep it -- — “Expectin on’t in soon I ’spose?” C (waxing warm) I tell you we — don’t keep it here we never have kept it and don’t ever expect to I tell you this is the clothing department” “Oh yas! yas! I s’ pose you’re afraid of gittin on’t onto the trouses and things Heow is sugar a sellin neow? C — “25 cents a pound but we ” don’t Countryman slapping his hand on the counter “Wal weigh me eout about two ” pounds and a half Just at this juncture when forbearance was in the estimation of the clerk ceasing longer to be a virtue a slight misunder standing occurred between two “yaller” dogs on the street whereupon our hero rushed forth with astonishing rapidity just in time to escape the vials of wrath which the indignant clerk was about to pour upon his devoted head Our hero eventually straggled into the wholesale department not recognizing the change of locality exclaimed: “Where’s that feller I was a tradin with?” New Clerk— “I don’t know whom you refer to” “I mean that feller what sed yeou hadn’ t got no molasses ” C — “My dear sir we have plenty of molasses” “Du tell! That feller told me I thought it was yeou hadn’t got none' kind o’ curus ef yeou hadn’t ira molasses in a big store like this Wall give me abeout a yard and a half of bleached ” mus-ling- The clerk here explained that this was the wholesale department and that they did not retail anything “Wall then give me three hull yards good measure” Clerk hesitates and thrusts his handkerchief into his mouth ‘ Wall what’s the matter neow! ’Spose you think I can’t pay for it” Slaps a piece of paper down on the counter “There!” Clerk examines the paper and discovers it is an order on a provision store down street which fact he explains at length to our hero who goes off shaking his head with the conviction gradually forcing itself upon his mind that “Corporation ain’t jest the thing after all”‘ |
