| Show what co b b jiow thinks chinks about the good old days ANTA MONICA CALIF S SANTA taking pen in hand to write uncle sams check for that next installment I 1 look longingly backward to what im sure was the gol golden den age of our generation it was the decade that began soon after the turn of the century and ended with 1914 kings lolled securely on comfy thrones and dictatorships torsh tor ships aps in strong nations were undreamed ar of without shaking the foundations of the financial temple teddy roos roosevelt eve it was filing the a alligator 11 I 1 g a teeth of p predatory red a wealth irvin iryll S cobb people laughed at the mad suggestion that there could I 1 ever be ba another great war let alone a world war I 1 with suffrage in prospect women were going to purify politics taxes were a means unto an end and not the end of our means standards of livi living ng climbed faster than did the costs of living automobiles were things to ride in at moderate speed not engines to destroy human life with millions actually believed that if prohibition by law ever became effective fec tive drunkenness would end and crime decrease yes im sure those were indeed the happy days the tha era when the twentieth century limited started running and W J bryan stopped synthetic imitations UE E STOPPED at a wayside stav ution alon advertising pure orange juice theres one every few rods next to autograph hunters oranges are the commonest product of california the drink was the right color but there seem to be any orange in it the best you could say for it was that probably its mother had been badly frightened by an orange 1 made inquiry and an expert told me some roadside venders benders not ninny many but some were peddling an essence compounded of chemical flavoring and artificial extracts because it kept better than the genuine article I 1 thought america had reached tops in the gentle arts of substitution and adulteration when we began making pumpkin pies out of squash and maple syrup out of corn stalks and buckwheat flour out of it a low grade of sawdust anyhow it tastes like that and imported english sole out of the lowly flounder and scallops out of skate fins but when in a land where a strong man tote a dollars worth of oranges on his back there are parties selling synthetic imitations well just let the east cast equal that magnificent stroke of merchandising enterprises enter poor little rich men ET us take time oft off to pity the L LET poor little rich man who owns a large but lonesome seagoing sea going yacht during the depression the species grew rare there were money lords then who hardly had one yacht to rub against another but with better days a fresh crop unes lines the coasts no matter how rich the owner ommer feels he must use his floating palace ile he may be content with a saucer of processed bran and two dyspepsia tablets but no yacht crew yet ever could keep soul and body together on anything less than double sirloins sirloin sir loins 3 so he goes cruising and gosh how he does dread lit for every yachtsman who really gets joy out of being afloat there usually is another to whom the great heart of 0 the nation should go out in sympathy you almost expect to find him putting ads ada in the paper for guests who can stand the strain everything provided except the white duck pants V 0 problems on wheels newest problem AMERICAS agoes goes on wheels one prophet says by 1933 therell be a million trailers and three million people aboard them roger babson raises the anto ante within twenty years half tho population living in trailers and all the roads clogged so soon the trailer face Is recognizable ni it is worn by riding along behind while popper smiles pleasantly as he drives the car in solitary peace getting away from it all have you noticed how many trailer widows there are already but as yet nobody reckons with the chief issue think of the increasing mortality figures when the incurable speed bug discovers that not only may he continue to mow down victims with headon head on assaults but will garner in many who escaped his frontal attack by side swipes of the hitched on monster that is swinging and lunging at his rear like a drunken elephant on a rampaged ram pagel to catch em going and coming that thai should be a motor maniacs dream of earthly joy IRVIN S COBB service |
