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Show JUAB COUNTY TIMES. NEPHI, UTAH Patting the Buck. "Our bead bookkeeper can add up lour columns' of figures at once." "Doesn't he ever make mistakes?" "Oh, sure, but he's got an assistant to blame them on." r Its Nature. "The new nurse asked us extortionate wages." Job." "Well, her's is a hold-u- In the Swim. "Tour daughter' is studying art. 1 hear. Is she making any progress?" "Oh, yes. She has been invited to the annual frolic of the illustrators and has a bid to the Art Students' league costume party." When a man tells a widow that she is the only woman he ever loved she takes it with a pound of salt Out of Sorts ' lassitude, weakness, loss of appetite, inclination to sleep, heavy breathing, and lack of interest shown by baby. These are the symptoms of sickness. It may be fever, congestion, worms, croup, diphtheria, or scarlatina. Do not lose a minute. Give the child Castoria. It will start the digestive organs into operation, open the pores of the skin, carry off the foetid matter, and drive away the threatened sickness. Guest's Mistake, It Will Be Under-StooWas Not a Thing to Be Wildly Advertised. . SmyJitf's. mistake, which Is described In an English contemporary, must have been disconcerting, to say the least. "You'll find your bath In the out-'ouse- Thus he had been directed the night before at the little inn where bo was stopping, and that Is why he was now, in bis dressing gown, pushing open the outhouse door. It was dark, but there was the tub, and It would do. lie hopped In. In the middle of his landlord thrust ablutions the his head in at the door. In the dim light be failed to see the man In the tub. "Water quite nicely warm, thanks." observed Smytbe, "but It's a trifle muddy." "Muddy he hanged!" roared the landlord, bursting in suddenly. "Your tub's in the next place. Git out of it. you blltherln' idiot! Not a word of this tn Ae 'ouse, mind! not a word of this In the 'ouse! That's my 'omo brewed ale you're In!" red-face- Ancients Used Gas Warfare. The earliest use of deleterious gases In siege warfare 4s recorded in the history of the Peloponnesian wars from 431 to 404 B. C. During thin struggle between the Athenians and Spartans aryl their respective allies the cities of Platea and Dellum were besieged. Wood saturated with pitch and sulphur was .set on Are and burned under the walla of these cities lu ordur to generate choking and poisonous fumes which would stupefy the defenders Nothing Doing. and render the task of the attacking "Can I sell you a copy of the latest forces lens difficult. edition of the unabridged dictionary? It Is a work that should be In every BABY LOVES HIS BATH home." "Does It contain any words that With Cuticura Soap Because 8o Sooth, are not In the older editions?" "Thousands of them." ina When His Skin Is Hot. "Then I don't want it In my home. These fragrant supercreamy emol- My wife has quite enough words at lients are a comfort to children. The her command as It is." Soap to cleanse and purify, the Ointment to soothe and heal rashes, itch-I- n Quite Right. ga, cbahugs, etc. Nothing more ef"What do you understand by the fective. May be used from the hour phrase 'a liberal education?"' asked of birth, wAh absolute confidence. the professor when the froahnian class Sample each free by mail with Book. in economics bad assembled. Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. XY, "When the governor comws through Boston. Sold everywhere. Adv. with plenty of spending money," replied the first youth called upon. The Case. "Matrimony seemed largely IncAa the Twig Is Bent. idental to Henry VIII's career." Hills What line docs your son "I should call It more take to? Mills Contracting. Debts. Foi ex(Mass paving block need In an dad to pay! Judge. perimental way In a Trench city street lasted lens than two years. Money Savsd. "Ever mske any money In the stock In this market T" There Is room for everybody trig world but we can't all have front "No, but I've- saved a lot by not play rooms. - rlt W rlu Marine Heanedr fur Illustrated bunk of tba Eye Free. A term In office will In most kill the reform bug In a man. It" What's In a Name? "The boundary between Hungary cases and Serbia Is the Save river." "Well, Is It going to do It?" TURN OVER TIME Stop That Backache! more disenatTMring There's When Nature Hints About the Food. When there's no relish to food and nothing all that one eats doesn't seem to do than a constant backache. Vofl ar Urn when you awake. Tain puree you any good then Is the time to make a turn-ove- r In the diet, for that's Nawhen you betid or lift. It's hard to rest and next day it's the Mm old etory. ture's way of dropping a bint that the fain in tbt hark to nature's tirnni of food Isn't the kind required. kidney ilia. Neglect may pave the wav 'Tor a number of years 1 followed to dropsy, (travel, or other anions kidrailroad work, much of It being office ney an knea, Dnn't delay begin using IVwti'a Kidnrr Pills the remedy that work of a trying nature. Meal times haa been curing backache and kidney were our busiest; and eating too much trouble for over fifty years. and too quickly of food such as Is A Utah Case commonly served In hotels and res Mrs. Fran Mur- taurants, together with the sedentary 6n-Fourth Pith habits, were not long in giving me dysand Fourth Wet fia.. pepsia and stomach trouble which ret'tah, esvsr "I wa af-f- ti duced my weight from 20a to 160 with pains t4 tn the email of mv pounds. Inch that oflen nt . t,v "There was tittle relish In any food ao bad I roiil'ln't 3La' and none of It seemed to do toe any atoop. t he etw h rl hai dl rv spells t good. It seemed the more 1 ate the araa afraid to walk. I, n V poorer I got and was always hungry Kid Imhi I Ml la nolrwxi me aa before another meal, bo matter bow eoon a 1 i."1 them much I had eaten, aod before kna rid m of the allnr-n- t ft has been a Ion "Then 1 commenced a trial of Grape-Nut- s time elnca I have bad any further suffood, and was surprised how a fering." small saucer of It would carry me Ca4 Deaa'e at A a Star. BO a Baa along, t rone, and with satisfied appetite, until the next meal, with no rOSTtJUnUBURJt CO, BUFFALO, K. Y. of hunger, weakness or distress aa before. "I have been following this diet now for several months and my ImproveIf YOU anaenrftta. rtOtrellrm. krtwtera, ftvk ment baa been) so great all the other Headac a. " aH raa awn' ar teawn Waaa. ea In my family have taken up the us of Grape-Nut-s with complete eatisfac tion and much improvement In health "Moot people eat hurriedly, have lot of worry, thus hindering digestion last wttat re eeea. tDfrtoa ee t He f all and therefore need a food tbat Is pre as the BaciS aawtfta. taaaach aa digested and concentrated In nourishment." ntte.-r- o HOWARD E. BURTON "There's a Reason. peetmen prleee : (Ml, tMleer. tml. II i tM Name given by Postum Co, Battle M JMt. KtMormiT.ll. I la eetHwa a pr aefrpeaarj4 fill fjrtea Creek, Mich. SML Nat. Otrkoaate But. St tteadvlllo, Col. a tae te4tv A w aa aaaeara fre, lie, fine. Ike aaaaaa aasl ara fall 44-18 areaatae, IS. frea, W. N. U, Salt Lake City, No. H-b- fX ill. ' DOAN'S KJiVtV l!At. Tuft's Pills af FEARFUL LOSS OF LIFE 8INCE HOSTILITIES BEGAN BETWEEN WARRING NATIONS. Smiles isright teeth white with .aaaaaaaae i tuvo ley. Karl Ixireburn VERY MUCH IN WRONG "BATH' Ing TOLL OF THE WAR London. Debate on the conduct of the war and the censorship was resumed In the house of lords late Monday. Lord Loreburn, former high chancellor, brought up the subject, declaring that he took this action owing to bis belief that the Marquis of the minister without Lansdowne, portfolio, had not made adequate reply to the arguments of Viscount Mor- - Cennlne Castoria always bears the signature win-dow- MILLION Englshtnan Predicts That Europe May Becoma Little Better Than a Wilder, nesa Peopled by Old Men, Women and Children. something is wrong with baby, but we can't tell THAT IS, what it is. All mothers recognize the term by the Landlord's Way. John Iixrrymore, the actor, was talking about Germany's submarine .policy in New York. "When Germany told us we Americans mlKht cross the seas in safety provided we used such chip as she offered, I nearly died laughing," he said. "I was irresistibly reminded of the poet who complained to his landlord: " 'Landlord, I really must insist on your repairing my doors and They close so badly that it interrupts my work. It blows my hair all about my face.' "'Humph,' said the landlord. 'The easiest way out of that difficulty is for you to got your hair cut off.'" New York Times. FIFTEEN sea-aatlo- spoke of what he termed "the misadventures" of Crad ock's squadron, the Dardanelles oper ations utid the Balkan expedition. The itptaker said he had been told two mouths ago that fifteen million men had been killed or disabled for life and that multitudes had been add ed to this number since and that if the conflict continued indefinitely, "revolution or anarchy" might follow In Europe. "Unlets the collective common sense of mankind prevails before the worst comes," added Ixrd Loreburn, "the great continent of Europe will be little better than a wilderness peo and chli pled by old men, women Iren." He declared It was no exaggeration to say that If the war continued In definitely revolution or anarchy might fOllriIrn 5(?T if Delicious, wholesome, beneficial, appctito and dlgcstlon-aldin- g Thp. - follow. Have you seen "Wrigley's Mother Goose, intro- newest ducing the Sprightly Spearmen jingle book 28 pages in colors? Exceed Beat Preceding Year by Half Billion. Washington. The .nation's prlncl pal farm crops this year are worth about $3,600. 000,000. exceeding by more than $500,000,000 their value In 1914, the previous banner year In the country's crop history. There has been an unprecedented harvest, many of the crops exceeding their best rec ords, and high prices due to the In fluence of the European war have con tributed to swell the total value. Statistics announced Monday by the department of agriculture In Its No vember crop report base values on prevailing November prices. Corn, with a production of 3.090,509,000 bushels 34.000,000 bushels below the record crop and worth f 1,913.023, 071, Is the most valuable crop ever grown. It exceeds the former blggeHt value crop, that of 1911, by f 190,000,- - ed lo have been given In Engllab courts that German officers prepared false American passports and "banded them to agents," and expressed doubt that such testimony ever actually Was given. Trad In South America Doubles. Washington. Success of the campaign to secure for the United States the trade of South America la Indicated by foreign commerce figures for September, made public Monday. In both Imports and exports the t'nlted State ha about doubled IU businea with Smith American countries during the pat yesr. Myton Bound Over. Salt Iake City Major 11. I. Myton. charged wh the murder of Roy J. Horton. was bov d over to the district court to stand trial on a reduced charge of voluntary manslaughter at the preliminary hearing Monday, ttond wss fixed at $3."0, which as furnished. Steamer BIrgit Sunk. Copenhagen. The steamer Blrgil has been sunk by a German submarine, which landed her crew near The captain of the Oefie, Sweden. BIrgit says the submarine carried a men. crew of thirty-twKilled at Crossing. Denver. Three persons were killetf and another fatally loured Monday wh an aotomobile In whlrh they were riding was strork by t Denver A Rio Grande freight train at a crossing in South Denver. gZ2 3 ,js mini A i (HERE IS A SAMPLE VERSE) As I was going to Saint Ives I met a man with seven wives" Each wife had a fine, clear skin, All were fat not one, was thin, And each had a dimple in her chin ; What caused it? WRIGLEY'S! l Th-"Wnmpv Snprmpn vvnnf vr.11 to see all their Quaint antics in this book free ! Write for it today and always ask for "wrjgley'S" the mm gum m the sealed package wrapped m m m A United Profit Sharing Coupons. WM. WRiGLCY JR. CO. t404 Kotner Bldg., Chicago Chew it after every meat g UP ONE SCORE FOR JONES Sarcastic Comment Will Be ciated by Those Who Favor rimiu um r,Ut. J S I 1 s 9 Zero. Outclassed. "We don't hear much about Ioctor "Were you mtirh Impressed by the Cook alnce the tlmo be claimed to maji-xtiroar of Niagara?" have discovered the North pole." "I was at first, but later on, when "No; I daresay he never fully re- my hurband put up a roar about our covered from the terrible frost be en- hotel bill, Niagara sounded like m countered." rippling brook." c AppreOld-Tim- 7? r. M VILLA SEEKS CONSULTATION. Deny Passport Fraud. Washington. Germany la a note which reached the state department Monday denies flatly testimony slier and x o most helnful r. o pleasant goody possible to buy. FARM CROPS BREAK RECORDS. Leaves His Force In Camp While He Travels to Nogales. Douglas, Ariz. General Villa Is reported en roule from Cananea to Son or a. for the purpose of Interviewing Carlo Randall, acting governor of the state of Sonora. He is said to be accompanied only by a small bodyguard, consisting of no more than 1C0 men. The remainder of his force Is In camp around Villa Verdn, where supplies are feeing received from Naco, Sonora. Naco I now occupied by approximately 1.500 Villa troope. House Leader Bolts. Waahlnglon Representative Claude Kllchin, Democratic leader of the house, told President Wilson on Mon day, after a long conference with him. tbat be could not support the administration's program for naval defense and that be would oppose the program In a personal capacity only and not as majority leader. lonppct-lastinc- confections e Methods of Travel. Down In the crimson clover vone there were two farmers named Jones and Jniies was mlth, respectively. old fashioned and stuck to old fashioned ways, but Smith, who was more modern, bought a fine new automobile. One day he was proudly exbib-InIt to some friends when Jones came along. remarked Jones, as be "Cm. thoughtfully sired up the handsome "Wbat's that thing there fnarhlne. on the side?" "That's a spare rim and a tire." answered the proud Smith. "We always rarry an extra one in case one of the wheels goes wrong." "Jes' as I alters said," was the disdainful response of Jone. "I've druv bceses fer nigh on SO years, and I never bad to carry s spare leg for one O" them yet." Philadelphia I'reas. g And Lots of Them. Sorry He Spoke. "I see where the Russian cavalry He (during family quarrel) I suprode down the Germans In the pose some idiot proposed to you before trenches where they were digging In I did. themselves for the winter." She No. when you did. "See, thst was a borse on them!" Nat Ciray Hairs teat Ureal Ryes Just It. make u look oi ler lh we ara. Keep jnat F.rae "I see by the papers old Tompkins rnang sad roe will look young. After tba MorK-alwsra Marlae Your Kjas-- e hss failed for half a million." Uoa t tell your sea. I no so bad Idea be bad half "Why, much." Don't ask a truthful man for his "He didn t." honest opinion of you unleaa you are prepared for a jolt. The difference between Ignorance and Innocence In a woman Is tbat one When all others fail to please or the other Is genuine. Try Denison's Coffee. e It's the little troubles that wear away a man's conceit. The tall on Intellect. man Is occasionally short Long Known. "Father." said the miniter's son. "my teacher says that 'collect' and 'congregate' mean the same thing. Io at I theyr "Perhaps they do, my eon." said the venerable clergyman; "but you may tell your teacher that there Is a vast difference between a congregation and a collection." Christian Register. Impossible. "Now. as to the Ralkan situation" ' To'i'll have to excuse me. I'm In Wben You Want Something Particularly Nice K. C not In cijiannoint vou. The double raise make doubly certain nothing is left to "luck. K the batter is a little thin, K. C will raise it light and feathery and it will be all the better. Jarring the stove or turning the pan around make no differ ence K C sustains the raise until baked. When there's a birthday or wedding cake to bake, or refreshments for reception or party to provide, take no chances You can alwavs dmenrJ unon lip a borry." "Why, I was going to sum op the situation In two words." "It can't be done." Its &ort. UseKC "Military courtship must be trying." "Nstnrally. It Is a sort of court martial." " Lucky. "Have any lurk on your duck ing-- shoot- tripr" Tea. Didn't catch cold this time. The m..re a man Is envied the less real happiness he baa. r tar fa f Mir Cm ft aosir-aatf- t r,MeeMieewfWMfe'rwt c w. rm tu, rata, c. ft f a ait." eaav-tM tkm weiKeef Ilea. if i mm t . ! |