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Show I Ciipoia Copyright, 1903. 1 Western Newspaper union. HBV Dlonyslus and the Barber. HH Grecian history says thnt Dlonyslus' H daughters singedy Ills heard with nut H sholls becauso tlio father was nfrnld H to trust tho town barber, fearing lost H bo cut his throat! HBV It will ho remembered theso wero H tho days of treachery and cold feet! H A ruler might go to slcoii with his H , crown under his pillow and awako V next morning to find not only h.J H crown but tho head whereon It rested, HBV mlsslngl HBV Thero Is a prcccdont for this last B ,." nontonco, an Irishman sovcral years' H ago having awoko to And himself' H ' Dut, anyhow, this wasn't tho reason H Dlonyslus mado tonsorlal artists of m H - DIONYSIUS MAKES A VOW. H his protty daughters. It happenod M Ono glorious spring morning when A., tho birds woro enrolling, and tho g buds were bursting' Into heavy, per H' fumed bloom, Dlon-ctc., entered tho B- Tlllago harbor shop, climbed Into n B rod-plush clinlr and asked for a shavo. H Tho harbor hesitated, meanwhtlo H turning a hard and critical eyo upon B tho integument that covered tho top BP" of Dlonyslus' head. Tho following dl- H i aloguo thon took placo; "Gotting a trlllo long In tho under- H x brush," lifting tho back hair gently. M m "Better have it trimmed a llttlo," Jq with compassion In his oyo for having H-; to urgo n customer to kcop tidy. H "Just a shavo!" kf "Coming out some, I notice, too. Hkj How would a hair cut and a singo H7 do?" Br "Just a Bliave, air!" H,. "Well, did you say you'd try a M i BlngoY" H ' "Shnvo, plcnso!" B-1 "Huh!" beginning to lather fiercely. . "Slash! nrrl Rip! Slip! Slash!" 'i ,".Llko a nlco Pomplnkus faco inns Hj sago, sir?" HV-"' "Not to-day!" gasping through tho H- faco H "Romovo all tho dust and dirt from V tho poros of tho skin, feod tho do- H plotod tissues, rub out tho wrinkles " "No, no! Not to-day!" . 'Huh! That hair needs cutting, '1 sir! But I believe you said you didn't B 1 hava tlmo to-day?" ' y. ."Not to-day!" M "Havo a llttlo hair tonic, sir?" rals- H , lng tho chair and standing comb In H "No, water!" B "Just plain water?" H B "Huhl Anything on your faco?" H H "Evor try this faco cream to re " H ' "Hero!" handing tho barbor a dlrao B no moro! H "Huh!" and under his breath to tho H man at tho chair next, "Ghoap skato!" B And Dlonyslus dopartlng, wont out H bohtnd a sign board, and raising his H colainn oyos to heavon, sworo hence P forth to burn 'om off forovor. Do H you blaino him? PbV The First Shave. H Prlmltivo man was walking slowlr H along tho soaahoro, gazing flxodly at Hj tho debris on tho water line. m "Ha, ha! Iln, ha!" laughed n groat 1 rudo wavo, rolling up stonlthlly and H opringlng llkd a tlgor upon him. PbH "Ha, ha! Iln, hn!" gurgled tho ) foam as it sudscd around him, oven H to tho roots of his hnlr. "Ha," ha!" H "That's all (choko) all right, old H, JcoanuH, for (sputter) you to glvo ft 0,0 tho 'ha ha,' but I noodod a shavo B anyhow and (blowing away tho piHf foam) now that my. faco Is well lath. orod I guess I'll rob you of a good PBJ sharp clam-sholl, and finish tho opera- H tlonl" B And ho did, using a quiet pool for H . mirror, and swearing, ns usual, at H k -vii'XttB condition of his prlmltlvo razor. |