Show j i THAT TIIA T MILLION HITLER OFFER Mr Samuel Harden Church The Carnegie Institute Pittsburgh Pa Pat Dear Samuel I have read your offer otter of a million smackers for the capture of Adolf AdoU Hitler and In reply I would state that hat the proposition Interests me But I do not like the way you emphasize emphasize size the part about his being caught alive unwounded and unhurt What about me w g However It Is a novel idea and the most original business proposal of a decade I know of no cash offer of fer fee like it since the depression and it Is good to know there is II a man Inthis In Inthis inthis this country who knows where to get jet a million dollars these days for that much money there are people people peo pee pie who would do anything The big drawback is that Hitler has got such luch sucha lucha a big start and I dont don't think it l sporting to limit the offer otter to May This 1 Is pretty short notice for grabbing grabbing grabbing grab grab- bing a guy who has been on the loose so long and besides May is a ahard ahard ahard hard month for tor the capturing business business business busi busi- ness on account of the birds and i bees and little green things furnishing furnishing furnish furnish- ing so 10 much distraction from any pursuit Could you extend the time through June i r n p I. I l r WORLD e r rS j S a e And are you serious about the undamaged unwounded and unhurt unhurt unhurt un un- hurt clause in your spring offer Are you willing to stretch a point I mean would It be okay it If Adolf Is brought In with a little mouse over one eye or with a lock lode of his hair missing It would be a note If It I catch him and you rule the capture illegal just because he ha s says that his back hurts him or something s e Who is going to judge whether he heis I j Is hurt or not not I want a good referee ref ret referee 4 as I have a hunch that Adolf i will do a lot of squawking when he k finds himself In Pittsburgh in a Million Million Mil MU lion Dollar Thirty Days Only Contest Contest Con- Con test and he may insist that he is in terrible condition Instead of being undamaged and as good as new In fact I think you should stretch a a point and say that If he Is warped a little in transit the cash offer will still stand And about the idea of trying him I do not want any part of that If I deliver him it Is up to you and Pittsburgh to run the trial I am taking no on trials All he heI I would have to do would be to get a aI I good lawyer to say that he wasn't r quite clear mentally Then there I II I would be the old business of get get- getting getting I ting the psychiatrists to ask him a alot alot alot lot of questions and then report he was clearly a victim of the fact his folks made him eat lettuce without without with with- out sugar In his boyhood or some some- thing He lie would get put on probation probation probation proba proba- tion and in no time would be on the loose again So I want the cash cashon on delivery Sam Let me hear further details from you soon Yours Elmer Twitchell P P. P S S. S What S.-What What are you offering this week for tor Mussolini e. e ALL DONE BY MIRRORS' MIRRORS The New York police department today began distributing leaflets inscribed In Inscribed in in- scribed A healthy driver is a safe driver in a campaign to keep down auto accidents The health of a motorist is an important consideration tion lion in any safety safely drive said Police I Commissioner Valentine There are my ny accidents caused by sudden less News item Apple sauce Also fer ter baloney and bunk A healthy driver Is III not necessarily a safe driver we have been chased up alleys by some of the healthiest drivers In existence and knocked for a goal coal by drivers who bo were Here notably in the pink S e eFAT FAT GIRL 1940 1910 You'll get thinner by and by If on a diet you plan to sup Meanwhile let them laugh at you Chins up little lady chins Richard Avedon S e a Comedian Jack Haleys Haley's definition of Yale Is a period between a change in voice and a job as an insurance insurance in insurance in- in salesman S a DAYLIGHT SAYING SAVING CHAOS OS Today at timetables I stare And find a train that wont won't be there It Its It's where it aint the trainmen say sayI says say say- I s guess I will not go a way away I e e e eADD ADD SIMILES As individual as the way a person opens a t boiled egg As shabby looking as your old od shoes when you are trying on a new pair As winded long as credit titles in ina a movie Wallace Wallace Reyburn I |