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Show Kathleen Norris Says: Marriage Is the Wife's Job I Bell Syndicate WNU Service.) W all know young couplet who t tar ted a few yeart ago with what an admiring world called 'everything.'' Wealth, beauty, position, power, all these didn't tave these husband and wivet from an early and disgraceful appearance in the divorce court. They did have "everything, except code and character. By KATHLEEN NORRIS IN THESE troubled times, when our problems seem to be taking on a national rather than a domestic character, char-acter, it is more necessary than ever for the woman of the house mother, wife, sister, sis-ter, daughter, whichever she may be to see that everything every-thing at home moves serenely and smoothly; that home is a refuge for the workers who have to go out into the turmoil and discouragement of a war-torn war-torn world. Womrn are the makers or breakers break-ers of marriage. They are the builders build-ers or the destroyers of home. Ninety Nine-ty per cent of the success or failure of any marriage is due to the woman. wom-an. She can turn the most fortunate mating into the least happy, or she can pick the ruins of her marital venture from ashes and wreckage, and transform them into happiness and security again. 'Everything' but Character. We all know young couples who started a few years ago with what an admiring world called "everything." "every-thing." Wealth, beauty, position, all these didn't save these husbands and wives from an early appearance in the divorce court. And we all know other brides and grooms; obscure, poor, plain, inexperienced. inex-perienced. We know how radiantly confident they were as they went from the quiet wedding to the two or three small rooms that were home, how they irradiated these rooms with love and service, how they built about tli em strong walls of true married life, raised fine children, rose in the world, added on more glory to the glory of American life. In the one case the man may have been spoiled, rich, selfish, stupid. In the other he may have been schooled to consideration and gencrousness. But in both cases It wns because of whnt the woman was that the marriage mar-riage turned out as it did. Here is a letter from a Chicago man that illustrates forcefully the situation In one household. In which the wife and mother seems determined deter-mined to destroy her own life and those of her husband and child. An Inharmonious Household. "Dear Mrs. Norris," writes Don, "I am head of a shoe department in large store; 38 years old, married 14 years, and with a daughter of nine. We live In a comfortable six-room six-room apartment; own a car, and my wife has the afternoon services of a good maid. Some years ago I purchased a small cabin in the woods on a take, for vacation and weekend visits. I am a church member, and have always tried to be considerate of my wife and generous to her, as well as faithful. "Evelyn waa an extremely pretty girl; she Is much overweight now, has dyed her hair a bright gold, and uses much make-up. Clothes, and what her women friends think of her clothes are her greatest interest in life, but she also likes bridge, poker and movies, and she spends much time and money on beauty parlors. Breakfasts Dlnea Alone. "My wife never gets up for breakfast; break-fast; our little girl dresses herself, carries Mama a glass of orange Juice, and trots off to school. I get orange juice and milk from the ice box. Betty-Lou always has IS cents for school lunch, I lunch downtown, and frequently return home at half-past half-past Ave to And that Evelyn is still away. Betty-Lou and I do homework, home-work, read the funnies, listen to the radio, and at half-past six dine alone. Evelyn may telephone that she Is DEADLOCK A child adds to the complications of the eternal triangle. One woman threatens her husband with the high cost of divorce the other promise to reward him, no matter how expensive ex-pensive the final separation. Should he pay now and take hit reward or is there another tolution? Kathleen Norris draws deep from the well of kmnvledge and answert him briefly. not coming, or she may come In late, to nibble indifferently at her food, explaining that they all had perfectly delicious sandwiches at Marian's. "Evelyn does not like the cabin; she has been there twice only in the past year. It means fire-making, dishwashing, cooking for us all. My little girl and I love it, but my wife dreads the effort. Last summer she took Betty-Lou for two weeks to a smart beach, placed Betty-Lou with my mother for the rest of the vacation, vaca-tion, and went off herself to California Cali-fornia with friends. Has Met the Other Woman. "The problem Is that I have met the other woman. For two years she has been my rest, my comfort, my companion. I want to make her my wife. She is associated with me in the office, a widow of 27, no child, no family other than a sister. She is lovely, gentle, domestic, lonely. lone-ly. And God knows I am lonely! Last summer Ann, her sister and I often went to the cabin, for hours of such perfect felicity as I suppose few men ever know. We think alike, feel alike, we need no other happiness happi-ness than that of being together. "But Evelyn assures me that If there Is ever a divorce she will demand de-mand an alimony so great that I limply could not pay it. Out of my salary of $300 a month she will ask for half, and support of Betty-Lou as well. Ann and I might indeed exist on what was left, but with my Insurance to pay, and the taxes on my mother's little house, our income would not be more than $1,000 ' a year. The child she would so love to have would hardly be welcome on that! Feels Trapped Helpless. "I feel trapped, maddened. My marriage has not been a marriage for many years Evelyn knows that. She actually dislikes me. She gives nothing, takes everything. In the beginning I tried hard for success; gave her everything I could. Her bills have now plunged me more than $2,000 Into debt. She says she adores our child, neglects her for days at a time, then buys her new frocks and candy and spoils her for a day or two. The atmosphere of my home Is unbearable, and yet should I force a divorce I am ruined, ru-ined, I have nothing to offer Ann, and the world will blame me for deserting de-serting 'that sweet little woman' and that lovely child. "Is this a deadlock? What can I do?" Time May Offer a Solution. My answer is; it Is a deadlock, and you must grin and bear It, Don. There Isn't any way out. at the moment. Should Evelyn fall In lova with some other man and ask a divorce, that might be different. Console yourself that half the lives now being lived in America have known "insufferable" conditions, like yours. Insufferable boredom, physical disability, restlessness, poverty, pov-erty, we all get a turn at every one of them. To love desperately, and desperately desire to fling aside all the ties of the past, doesn't put you in a category all by yourself. Enjoy your friendship with Ann as much as In honor you may, revel in your small girl's affection and companionship, compan-ionship, and give patience and time a chance. |
