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Show FLIES AND THEIR WAYS. Divided 'into- Two Grat Bodies The Tramp' and the. Domestic. (New YorkTimes.) What a queer lot flies are, ' How patiently" pa-tiently" they return time1 and again to the spot whence they have been repeatedly driven by the exasperated victim of their pranks. They are veritable Ishmaelites caring for no man, but causing all to care for tjiem. They are without natural affection and leave home and the old folks just as soon as they are hatched. But how. generous they ;are in their deal- i ings wjth each other. "A little lump of sugar or -drop of honey "is free to all who can crowd around it. !as long as it lasts. and-- then they start 4off on individual reconnoitcring tours, -until the discovery of some especially delicious' morsel is the signal for another banquet. So far as my researches on this important impor-tant subject have extended, 1 find that i while there are -rnnumerable races and j j varieties of flies, they are only divided into- two. great bodies namely, the tramp and the domestic fly. The former j may be found more particularly on the street cars, attracted, doubtless, by the family market basket, but when the bas ket fails to materialize, he vents his spite I j . on the passengers in vicious attacks on I every unprotected portion of their cu- j tide. ... - ' i The domestic fly is a different insect I in all his habits. No. matter what the I outside attraction may be, his motto is, "Be. it -ever- -so humble, there's no place like home." and, if the truth must be . told, the humbler the home the better J he arpears to like it. He loves to fre- I quent boarding house? and restaurants, " but is contented to hantr his hat up in an ordinary dwelling house if the afore- J mentioned resorts are beyond his neigh- j borhood.. Lonsrfellow. in his matchless pathos, has . compared trouble to a host of vultures which watch from a distance j for a favorable opportunity to descend I upon their prey, and the comoarison holds equally good with flies at meal j times. , Observe them, as in uncounted , numbers they promenade along the bou- t levard . overhead, chatting with this I neighbor and that over the latest fashion E or the latest arrival among them, or per- haps denouncing the action of Miss I Shonfly, but lo. the peaceful promenade 1 or discussion ceases, and a strange hush I settles over Flyland. What does it mean? B Simply that the table is being drawn out I for the anticipated f?ast? Not by any m?.i.i they wait for the appearance of the viands. Soon all is ready, and down comes a fly, then another, an-other, and anDther. until at last thev take eomplets possession. They wade through the butter. go swimming through the; milk, nlay hide-and-seek In g the bread, and perform such a series of antics that !'n lespnir the head of the 1 family- arises. grasjs the flv brush, C swings It around vigorously and knocks I a fly into the teacup of everyone at the j tsble. Upon thirt culmination of disasters I all effort at disposing Of the intruders 0 cease, and the fly reigns supreme. I Before closing this homily I would like to correct a very prevalent, yet very jj erroneous, idea that baldheaded men are n more annoyed by flies than those who C have been j blessed with considerable I capillary adornment. On the contrary, j egg-topped individuals are rarely trou- Jj bled with them. .1 have made a special I u study of this feature of the subject, and j have notlc?d thRt where ordinary indi- 1 vjduals expanded a larpe portion of their W time, temper and ' muscle in combating the uhiqultous insect, the bald-headed .1 man has enjoyed almost complete im- I munlty, and smiled serenely at th.- ri- ft? diculous gymnastics of .his neighbors.. W The renson for this is based on the aver- I sion flies manifest for anvthlna- of a A light color. Their taste inclines them to p sober hues, and oear the brunt of their w attacks. -Happy bald heads. I |