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Show THE HELPER JOURNAL, HELPER. UTAH Our Pet Pe&e Along the Concrete; Ad OUT TH& TvX'ENTt ETH AWN , M'lOi in;jt mir-.. s 7S LI" 1 X. rrTS II mi i I A !? , and gaw I 3 -- CrtuTEL TO CHICAGO JOPAV. THAI Wit 1 j No Etcapa Two clubmen were discussing their wives. "I suppose I mustn't grumble at mine," said Martin. "She looks after me very well." "In what way especially?' asked his friend. "Well, for Instance," said Martin, "she takes off my boots In the evening." 'What, when you come home from the club?" asked the other. "Oh, no ; when I want to go there," came the reply. I I Wrtllo Docriptive Blooming Liar to announce "You don't say you got rid of that the birth of her first child to a friend nice lodger of yours, Mrs. Brady?" In a distant city, telegraphed: I I "Yes suspicious of him. De "Isaiah 9: 6." Which passage be- told me hegot was a bachelor of arts, gins: "For unto us a child Is born, and I found out he had a wife and unto us a son is given." Sheffield Weekly two children." Her friend, unfamiliar with the Telegraph. Scriptures, said to her husband: "Margaret evidently has a boy who WISE JACK weighs nine pounds and six ounces, but why on earth did they name hltu Isaiah?" A young wife, wishing Maybe He Wat O. K. At a recent gathering, the nervous young secretary of a church social club was apparently confused by the presence of one or two people of title, and prefaced his opening remarks with "Ladies, Gentlemen, and others " T""" ' t tc- i rii! Debatable THE FEATHERHEADS B Oibontt IF YOU AWkSf LAZY.1! YEAP triE IPEAI YXJ PlAMEP "WE GAiepe'J failure" cm "fail THE CHICKENS HeAf OkJ "WE fcJEEDl TMP1 AiMosr v.'iiH 6ui NglSH&0.S CHICKENS ijy WWUW fiJtjfl VMC IAH He Wants Free Weeding, Too -- tKTff Fa. I'LL ABtE?" VEU You II ftkl etc tad ) V vdccI c ItV S UEveR To GET BUSY." Yod KWOwl You WEVER GtT AN-YTrtUff- - .FOR NOThinS1- - BP 1 UP vJ(1H TriEHl THePe'J V LOT OP FLORA A Itj THIS VATO TMO I J I BUY OR PIAUT pu)' S THAT 5&METHIN- I fOR - 7 NOTHING-O- J H- R MVI fr "Jack Is a foxy individual. He proWhy do you claim to Miss Peaches by wireless." a trombone player Is less of a bore posed "What was the great Idea 1p that?" than a pianist? "It leaves the record up In the air Man In Chair Ee Is because be where It can't be read In court In doesnt tie the doesn't get chance, case he happens to change his mind." find a trombone In every home he visits. Brooklyn Dally Eagle. Ha Her Price Man at Desk IN A HUMOROUS VEIN lilllllill Little Sunshine Stern Mistress (to maid) Yon are discharged, Sarah, for allowing the master to kiss you. What sort of reference do you expect from me after that? Pretty Maid Well, you might at least say that I tried to please every 1 M.. FINNEY OF THE FORCE I0W(1 MAM THE vho Jiisf WlW MF fURTCP Co Vkt NAMT 'bout V 2 WMn K4paM MF t? Snoop Makes a Complaint ByTedOLougMm tBMM Y I ( 7) TiST BECAUSE A 7, WAit I YMfr MAM MOJ FIirtS ' I J To CALL TUP YE vJAwT one, madam. Bobby ing. 1 patrol i I want You to CALL I!S AUBtAWCE li "I'll give you thirty shillings for that pup." "Can't be done, sir. That pup belongs to my wife, an' she'd sob 'e eart out But I tell yer what spring another ten bob an' we'll let 'er sob!" Humorist Magazine. I No Luck a'T.ll I lost a quarter this morn- Nellie Thats' a pity, Bobby. How did you lose It? "She says that I am dull." "You should crack a few jokes once Bobby Aw, the man what dropped In a while ; ask her to marry you, or It heard It fall. Philadelphia Evening Bulletin. something like that" GOING THE LIMIT Not tbe Only One , Chlupp I understand that Qulggle has a very good voice. Does he cultivate It? Cutajar I don't know whether he cultivates It but I do know that he Irrigates It sometimes. Vital Information S'MATTER PO- P- But Only A Bite wnavius nwu viiMaji jiv ui WU1 By C. M. PAYNE JJlP V ..,7 'J "So you Joined the army bo as to 'see the world,' as the posters say? What made you leave?" "They didn't tell me that I would have to do It on foot." Boating Party She Where did you put the rec ords? He Records? I had work enough lugging this heavy gramophone along without bringing a box of records. QUESTION She Don't you think that women should have the privilege of proposing, as well as men? He Certainly they should, and they ought to have the privilege of buying theater tickets and cigars for the men If they want to. An Angel in Sight Muriel at pantomime rehearsal) Who's the properous-looklnJohnny? Not In the show, Is he? Frank Well, we're trying to per suade him to put up the money for g the Buoy," ) By GEORGE STORM It Ever So Humble, Etc." BOBBY THATCHER-"- Be WE'O A BEE3M BACK TO THE FIRS ) HOUSS AHO THE POU'MO IM HALF y--. AM HOUR, COMSTABl,IF IT HAOM'T A BEEH FORSTOPPIU'TO PATCH THEM TWO IMNER 0 --- mL C J ( WW THEPES ( LOOKS LlKS YO COULD GET "V'N AROUND FASTER OM A 1 ... ) I'M THAHKFUU BlCYCUC SOA4E AAORE 1 DOOSW i IIUlJ 1 r iRii ISffl 7oUKB 1 ulfPpf W TROOBLe -- L.C WAS FOR NOTOlN'...! BEAT US BACK TO r "TOWH! ' i 7 " S A, Wasted "Here's a dandy car with a rumble seat, too," said the enthusinstic J ' "Bumble seat 'd be no use to me," "Are you laughing at me?" de his growled the unenthuslastic customer, manded the professor sternly-o- f "my wife Insists on doing all her class. back seat driving from the front "Oh, no sir," came the reply from MHr e. our "Principal production so to speak ! London seat" Cincinnati Inquirer. the class president "what "Then," asked the professor, Up to the Player else Is there In the room to laugh Binks was making a hopeless first at?" attempt at golf, and to cover his embarrassment he remarked to the Reason for It caddy, "Golf's a funny game, Isn't "This egg is bad." Landlady Well, what do you ex- it?" "Sometimes It Is, sir," retorted th pect when you come down so late to breakfast? Everybody's Weekly. boy, "but It Isn't meant to be." Just Like A Woman "KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES" ALOYSIUS P. that WITH AM Supposing MET MGlNl3, x WEUU fI WOULD "X vmi? CfnrTnT JUlf VOO'O I BE VERY d lonesome; therc TO DARM B NOBODV f V VEAH.THAT'S Rghx WELL.,MA-yB- E taxi-drive- IjTi V-hooX HOO-oo- Exact Change Drug Sbop Burglari "I have known gents what gives a First Burglar (to companion dur ing raid on chemist's shop) I'll take bit over," observed the "Ay," said Mcl'herson, "that's why the cash: you'd better take some I asked ye to stop under a lamp." thing for that cold. -1 EW IT " I I " ' KEEPS YOUR INEXPENSIVE 1 TASTE FRESH SATISFYING |