OCR Text |
Show Quest of the Age. We have lost our jwwer to How Chemists Ascertain the Purity satisfied with thu essentials Rich and poor alike, wo seek of Ingredients. as tho greatest promoter to USE ANIMALS TO TEST DRUC3. lot of rorry looking chickens, dogs and cais loafed In the black. 111 smelling yard of the great chemical plant. "Wo use these animals lo test our Lucky. drugs on," said the ciemlst. They In very handy. They more than come No wonder that the little bird cam their board. Upon the branch ! Kinging gay: He builds a house, unscarred by care. "lCrgoilno Is a drug wo test on chickWith neither rent nor tax to pay. ens. It la a simple test. If a doso of ergot Jne falls to turn a chickens comb POOR FIDO. black we know that the drug Is, for some reason or another, worthless. "Hasheesh wo test on dogs. Ha shoeah is made of female hemp buds; male hemp buds have no medicinal value, yet come dishonest dealers put male buds on tho market, and since they resemble female buds precisely, it is Impossible to detect them save by actual test Dogs given hasheesh get drunk and happy If tho stuff Is good. Digitalis, the heart stimulant, Is tested on frogs. Wo inject a drop of it into a frog's stomach, and In the kymograph, or heart recording ma chine, we study tho changes that take place in the frogs heart action. Thus we get a very accurate knowledge of wkat our digitalis can do. "Do we ever test drugs on ourselves? Oh, yes, IndeeJ; often. Chemists have lost their lives, chemists have gone Incurably Insane, through too rash In testing drugs on tbelr own Phatboy Why did you have such an bravery persons." tas Angeles Times. g cur jis that stuffed? Binks (with emotion) That dog PSYCHOLOGY OF THE OYSTER. saved my life. Phatboy Well, well! How? Binks When we got hack from our James Russell Lowell Was Prepared to Add a Few "Facts. wedding tour my wife baked a cake for me, and the dog ate It. One of the most profound remarks ever made by that profound philosoWhat He Learned. pher, Thackeray, was when he passed Johnnie! two tubs of oysters side by side and Yes, pop. he saw one was labeled "Is a dozen Did you learn anything In school, . and the other "Is 3d a dozen. He exclaimed: How those oysters must Yes, sir; I learned that Tommie hate each other. Tate has the mumps, and that teacher an oyster may be "even Well, Is going to whip me If I throw spit-ball- s In love, and William Dean crossed Yonkers Statesman any more! Howells has A WHEN THINKING OF MARRIAGE. Iarn whether 6he Is selfish. You can tell this In three ways by the manner In which she listens to what you say, by the way she accepts what you do for her, and by the difference between the way she treats you and the way she treats others. Is she fickle? If she talks about light things she Isn't. Deep, she Is. Is she extravagant? Study the way in which she protests against your ipending money on her and always arranges matters so that you cant help but do It. Is she a bad housekeeper? Watch the way she dresses. If she Is splc and span she Isn't. If she Isn't then she Is. THK SOLUTION. When you have satisfied your mind that she Is all of these things marry her at once. If you can get her, for the following reasons: First, because If she really loves you she will change. Second, because If you love her It will be so much more Interesting. Third, because you are probably nlstaken about her, anyway. Judge. happiness, the greatest tainable. Tho Queen. become of life. wealth human blessing ob- The new law offices of State Harry J. Robinson are in looms I(i210:j Mercantile Block, Salt lake City, Utah, to whom all who are in need of legal advice are Uepre-tmtativ- e Time Hard to Kill. "Time," observes the Philosopher of Folly, has more lives than a cat. Ive killed It more than a million times my. self, and eternity doesnt seem a bit closer." PRINTED BLANK FORMS for Banks and all Business men. Write to PEMBROKE STATIONERY CO., Salt UV City. The Eternal Feminine. The best women In the world are extravagant In at least two particulars; dry goods and preserves. Atch- ison Globe. ALL HALLOWS ugly-lookin- GAVE HER ANOTHER. to-day- ? another tale to tell anent tho psychology of the oyster. At one Effects of Environment. of the little suppers that the poet I suppose, said the Society Bab Longfellow gave to the brilliant Camto its nurse, that my inclination at critic James Russell Lowell bridge present Is due to the Influence of paused with the nepper box poised heredity. abovo his plate of oysters to say In what way do your Inclinations "Its astonishing how whimsically: tend? asked the nurse politely. these fellows love pepper. I want, said the Society Baby, to But why did you propose to the girl Dear me! You dont say so! ejacuIf you didnt care for her? Baltimore American. give a bawl. lated a nice, prosy old gentleman "Well, the poor little thing seemed who used to sleep through the supso down. at the loss of her pet puppy, NATURALLY. The temptation was too strong pers. that I felt I must do something to to be resisted, and Lowell was fairly a bit. cheer her up COLLEGE SALT LAKE CITY. Boarding and Day School for Boys. Gaitei befin Wednesday, September 9. Clasiical, Scientific and Commercial course. Special department for lit tie boy, under the care of a trained teacher. For terma and information, apply to Very Rev. J. J. Guinan, S. M., President. You have our reliability as a guarantee of good quality when' you buy of us. We do not offer any goods for sale that cannot be unreservedly guar anteed as to quality. launched Into an account of how a red pepper, accidentally dropped into a basket of oysters, had been drawn out with half a dozen of the bivalves clinging to It, when the ever gentle Longfellow interposed to save his matter-of-fac- t old friend. Womans Home Have You Seen Her? What kind of a woman is she? One without diplomacy." Without diplomacy? "Yes, she will argue with an iceman about the size of the lump until it all melts away and there is only a wet spot on the sunny sidewalk. Chicago 170 "MAIN ST. SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH. Ever Noticed This? However, it is to be noted that the man who thinks he. knows it all, only thinks it. He doesnt know it. Daily News. Thats Proper. Mrs. Benham What do they do when the city has distinguished visit- His Chief Aid. ors? If ignorance were eliminated the devil could still rely on prejudice to Benham If they are men, give them the freedom of the city and if women, freedom of the dry goods stores. help him in his business. FALL OPENING ",l 1111 Utah Business College Send for full information to E. C. DAVIS, Prin., SALT LAKE Puck. ' Shared It. are this yez Finnegan How marnin, Reilly? Aunt Frederica Jeannie! Your cosReilly Be the powers, Paddy, Im in cum tume I is shocking. I would be ashamed downtown fair dhrownded! to be seen in it! all th rain. Jeannie Yes, aunt, you would have a liar, Then, yer bebog! Finnegan reason to be. for I kem down in half of ut. Judge. This Transitory World. She has a small waist, hasnt she? Too small. Why the pleasure lasts about a second. around it only Life. A Close Beginning. Miserly Bridegroom (as the carriage moves off) Hey, there! Save that rice. Life- I Worth All It Costs. It costs a lot to live these days. More than it did of yore; But when you stop to think of it, Its worth a whole lot more. Judge. Undoubtedly. "Have you a fat part in this play? Yes, I have the role of a pork trusl magnate. Baltimore American. SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH. 222 Y S. W. Temple Street. Best School in the West. Positions secured for all Graduates. Fall Term Opens September 1. Write for full information. J. C. HEN ACER, President. |