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Show H AT THE ACTORS' BOARDING HOUSE H , By Helen Green. H : H (The guests of the Malson de Shine are at H , dinner.) H The Property Man "Wlal, I see Lillis didn't H . prosecute. There's a wise lad. H f' The Ingenue Oh, it is monstrous to think of H t' that poor woman's suffering! The inhuman brute! H I Little Minnie Mangle Mommer says ef pop H ever swung on a gelmun frena hers she'd git a H ax an' show who was runnin' the joint, didn't you, H t mommer? H & Mrs. Mangle Minerva, curb this Orientalism (of expression. I merely observed that when the right of suffrage is granted us then, at least, husbands will not presume to dictate as to whom H I we entertain. H ! Bessie Banana All she done was to invite H J him. in. That's nothin'. H The Buck Dancer The same thing split me'n H Birdie. He was a cornetist, an he's carryin' the H cauliflower I give him yet. H Bill Banana It's gittin' so a man can't turn H the corner before they're plottin' agin him. H The Property Man I'd a' blacked her other H lamp. H The Landlady Us wimeng has a elegant W chanct with masculines floor managin' our lives. Hii Hero she innocently rode all of one day in his H nuto, an' the next day an' evenin', arrivin' home H I prompt at midnight. Wud not any lady ast him H ' to dally a minnit while she was mlxin' a partin' H dram? I got no patience with the narrer-mind- edness what's rampant In the land. Ef it was H the prudish time of Queen Elizabeth itrd be diff- H 111 runt. H The Ingenue Probably plenty could bo un- M earthed against him. Wasn't it sweet of James H K. Hackett to send that sympathetic telegram? H ( The Property Man An' her keepln' It so pri- H vato fur fear them K. C. sussiety skoits'd git hep H she knowed an actor. H ' The Buck Dancer That was like my Birdie. H I We'd been together now only she was alius pul- H lin' the gallery stuff. H The Landlady Susy, holler up an' ast is MIsta M ' Ie Shine comin' or not. Otherwise hell 'go H without. H The Slavey He says the next party disturbs H him'll eet a welt acrost their dial, mum. H Mrs. Mangle Of course, it is none of my H business, but were positions reversed I would H make him bitterly repent such language. H The Ingenue He was drinking again last H night and when I came in there he sat on the H , front steps, talking quite unintelligibly. M Little Minnie Mangle When pop's good an M ' sloshed he falls all over himself, don't you, pop? B But Mr. de Shine plays jokes. He went an' M . put a string across the hall an' Miss Banana fell 1 flat on her face. We seen her. Baby Theodore Mangle An Mlth Banana thald a swear word. M Bessie Banana I never! Though by gracious, B ( I ti'B the limit when you got to give up seven a H "' week single an' mebbe be Injured so you can't H walk a wire fur months. H Bill Banana He was kiddin. M The Landlady This here Is suttenly darned 1 painful tidin's, Bessie, an I kin see plain that me an' William is due to clash. Bessie Banana It upset mo so that I fainted h at ray mat'nee today, an' had to cut my klckin' H l polka on the wire entire. H T' Bill Banana An' it left me to fake fur three H minutes of our time. Ho oughter realize them H things got a serious side. H The Slavey He's comin', mum! I hear him H mutterln'. H Mr. de Shine (entering) Who took the roll H outer my check pants? H The Landlady Don't yuh bellor at me like B' no mad bull o' Bashan, Wlllum. The change was removed fur safe keepln', beln' as where they was throwed, hangln' out the wlnda, i har'ly a soot liable restin' place. Little Minnie Mangle Pop tanked up when he was playln' Cleveland, an' he put his shoes in Teddy's bath. Baby Theodore Mangle Yeth, an' he et all the fruit offa momer's beth hat, an' it made him dweadful thick, but she juth. laffed. Mr. Mangle Them two'll eat their meals separate sep-arate from us if you can't learn 'em to respect their parents. Mrs. Mangle Respect? Is filial obedience to """' be wrung from tender budding minds, ever filled with black horror, emanating from the realization that their father will stagger at last to a drunkard's drunk-ard's unwept grave? The Property Man I don't git her, but she's , sure the tongue lashin' queen. L- Mr. Mangle That ain't right, Louiser. Tain't ' clubby to make a mark of a guy in public. Wr w Mr. De Shine Take that meat away! All I kin go is a little toast an' a cupper tea. The Landlady Lookit how yer mitts is tremb-lin tremb-lin Oh, how kin men behave like animals? Bessie Banana I've ast mine that till I'm weary. Bill Banana That'll be plenty. I don't in-terfere in-terfere with you goin' to them cat parties where you put us fellers on the grid. Bessie Banana Gimme the pickle beets. Ef my own husband took me out like others do, I wouldn't be complainin'. The Buck Dancer Jest as I get to regrettin Birdie, I switch an feel glad she went. The Ingenue I guess she's satisfied. I saw her riding in a red automobile yesterday, wearing wear-ing a wrap with gold embroidered roosters, and j she never received such luxury from you. ' Mr. De Shine Can't you keep them dames t still? My head's achin'. The Landlady The table dotty's the place fur conversation, an' rules is not goin' to be broke to pleasure nobuddy. Mrs. Mangle Coffee, Susy, please. No strawberries straw-berries yet, I suppose? The Property Man They'll all be gone before we git any. The Buck Dancer This here's dried apple pie again. The Landlady It ain't neither, Mista Trippit, an' kin be so proved, but ef my simple oath kin not be creduted, keep on b'lievin what yuh please, an' most maisongs'd give 'em, but even ef i unjestly appraised, only the rarest an' best'll be jJ et in my snare, which I won't git no thanks, but " I got no hope of none, nohow. New York Tele- graph. |
