Show GARLAND TITE Not “Fair Weather” They’re TIMES UTAH GARLAND Friends Either BRISBANE ' Calif— Well all I I read in the papers I talk to sailors You know there aint muelj smarter old boy than the one that has spent bis lifetime from about 14 years old hanging onto the mast of an old square Thats rigged ship the old sailors that you Bee on these passenger boats now but that got their start on the windjammers They have been in every port in the world Apd everyone of em kinder longs tor the tough old days when they was three months the Horn rounding Course all of us In any line of business are like that We are always yapping about the "Old Days" and liow we look tell you away back and enjoy it but there is a lot of huey to it There is a whole lot at all our past lives that 3-?- HOLLYWOOD know is just what or what I learn as waseuv'fVlw? AmfcPij y boys never took to the ocean verjKniuch Lots of the New England ones from around Maine did out the old inland boys those old oceans were made to read about but not prowl around on Our boys make tine sailors when they will sail but they want their sailing to be mostly in a roadster While the hardy youth of the world was going aloft to trim the mast and adjust the jig boom (mahy am chances are I am) well while wrong they was doing that our lads were on their carburetors and working everybody trying to go to college and come out a bond salesman An awful lot of the rest of the world went out to get a practical education while we was trying to cram Latin and Greek down youths that would never in all their lives have any use for it I was out on deck awhile ago and they were cleaning out the life boats That dident make me feel any too good I thought mahy they was expecting Now here is something something dident know before just how the modern ships try to work it in case of accident Their boats hold 6l) apiece Then there is a big powered launch in lad two of em When those life boats are able to row nway from the sinking to stay out ship tiny are supposed there and these cruising around come by and pick powered launches tow a lino from a life boat then pull vp it along till they come to another one then It fastens onto the first life boat and so on and on till they try to have the whole hunch of life boats in tow behind the launch Now the launch has enough gas for five or six hundred mile L v - 1 ij - “ i it KV sf noraor ffrg “Sonoi JOEOOE After "watching the clouds roll by" for fifty years L)r Charles F Marvin has completed his term of seventy-siservice with the L'nited States weather bureau and gone into retirement At the farewell party given in his honor lie is shown congratulating by bis fellow olliee workers Miss Annie Relie most recent member to Join the bureau Putting Uncle Sam’s Brands on Drouth Cattle V feed at public expense men that go on strike while the strike lasts The American Federation of Labor in the South saya tba representative 6000000 textile workers about to go on Btrike will look to the governmaot to take care of them while the strllca last a According to the Associated Press Harry L Hopkins government relief administrator says: ‘‘It is a aurprla-inthing to me we haven't had a d — d sight more strikes than we have We shall probably have strikes to sufficient number If the government upporta all strikers and If it should decide to pay them out of public moneys the wages they are asking while the strike lasts there might be a great many strikes Railroads ask for an Increase of In freight rates to offset $170000000 Increased which "reflect expenses economic policies of the government Railroads must run and if the people are not pnylng enough they must pay more It Is to be hoped that Increased will provide good pay for payment conductors railroad workers engineers trainmen track walkers all nowhere in the world a of men more reliable dignified obliging safe sober and useful than American railroad workers A federal worker with a brush und paint Is putting a few daubs on Dossie's purchased by Uncle Sam Other cattle bought In the drouth area in Kansas are marked New Destroyer Is Launched coat to show that she has been to be checked off and waiting SHOWS HIS SOUVENIRS rt'T " H " Adoloh Menjcu and His New Wife 'M V S Is BOOTLEGGERS’ FOE fc'vv ‘w Edmund Wong On Wah Chinese air pilot dreamed that he crashed after a collision and told his American wife that when he did die he wanted an Iron collln Wong On Wah was selected with another Chinese flyer Fong Slick to maneuver above the steamship Bremen bringing In Gen Cluing Fuhway The planes collided Wong was killed and his desire to fly nnd fight for the He will Chinese army thwarted be burled here In a J750 steel coffin whom Wong never General Chang saw gave the order Why do you suppose Wong wanted an iron coffin? It could not keep the soul In or keep the worms out preMany prosperous Americana sumably are buried in coffins of bronze Not long ago Mussolini and Hitler met with all signs of amity eternal at Hands were clasped vows of Venice exchanged friendship and was to visit Hitler at his Mussolini country estate as soon as possible nnd the world said "How lovely to see dictator brethren dwelling together In amity !” And now the Mussolini visit to HitMussoler Is postponed Indefinitely lini did not like the Dollftiss assassination and seems to hold Hitler's Nazi friends responsible discusses the expulsion of Europe Mrs Sinclair Lewis from Germany aa a forerunner of rigid press control All copies of the London Times In German were recently seized and It Is expected that foreign correspondents will be asked to leave If they writ anyto Hitler Engines thing displeasing would not last long without a safety valve and liberty does not last long without free expression of opinion need to encroach Modern dictators hairs’ breadth on established several liberties and all agree with Napoleon who said bis power would last but a few weeks If he permitted freedom of the press 'itW' A The “American Liberty leugue" orto protect the beautiful old ganized American dollar and “vested Interests’ from the “New Deal" expects former Governor A1 Smith to help Mr John W Davis who also ran for President on the Democratic ticket Is said to be with the league “heart and soul" Former Governor Smith's friends think he may be “too busy" The probability of beating President Roosevelt's party this fall was expressed well by a former Deaiocratlc cabinet member who lg not a Roosevelt man : “You can't shoot Santa Claus you know especially around Christmas Is for tens of This administration millions of Americana and hundreds of American cities the greatest “Sant Claus" In all history w Edwin Denliy got home Midshipman to Annapolis with or so of his buddies from a summer cruise in European waters nnd he Is seen here Mrs Edwin Ien-bshowing his mother some of the souvenirs lie picked up on the trip Middy Denhy’g father was once secretary of the nnvy 'Vf SyndKttt Feed Everybody? Big Job Roads Ask $170000000 Can’t Shoot Santa Claui Steel Coffin for Wong It la announced that the government will others There is better body cruising radius Then too it has a sending radio on it each one has and they fan start their SOS es and everybody is supposed to stick together till some boat comes along and picks cm up Each life bout has ample provisions Hard tack and concentrated canned I foods and two large containers of water and you are supposed to last quite awhile Now this launch gathering these up was alt news to me but thats the way It is supposed to work that Is everything going off according to the steamship rules Uf course there is one little hitch in all these plans Its not a very large The Macdnimli new S'i'iIKIihhi destroyer named in Iniiiur ol miimoiini-hitch but its of enough importance leader of the American Squadron that fought the victorious Macdonougli that it might casually be mentioned and that is the condition of the sea at British off Cumberland Head Lake Champlain in 1S14 just after she was launched at the Charlestown navy yard Boston the time the enterprise takes place If the sea is doing enough to wreck a boat it is liable to be doing enough to keep any immediate assembling from taking place You can get your life boat over behind a wave from some other one and its like being over another mountain range you wont see him for w eeks Every once in awhile you might be sighted on the top of one of these Mountain Aquatic before but tops lifeboat launch or even and Amos Andy by radio can to have get you you dropped down into the canyon again Thats one thing that makes the sea Noth interesting lng ever happens 3 twice the same way on it always N old the thought captains had the right idea go down with the big one instead of getting on a little one and going down with It or without it So its a question or whether theirs is heroism bravery just good judgment There is many a d‘- Tc-f-T time the big one last longer than the : a little ones But it must be a great life We need were married in more of our young men to take up the Adolph Menjou film star and Verree Teasdale actress aea lie can get hi3 life started about Los Angeles by Judge James II I’ojie Menjou was recently divorced by six or eight years ahead of the rest of Kathryn Carver He is a man when his companions they Leave Hole In Craves they are just a freshman Whenbodied Largest Synagogue are a senior he is an A B'(able Indian graves in the Canadian woods the synagogue Undoubtedly that beats a diploma and a Jo history was the largest seaman) in the form of mmmds and silica-Ra covered with a low tentlike structure '"fraternity pin TAM b bodied seamafil which was destroyed Egypt that means you are a man among men after the Jews made- their great ex- of bark with nn ojioning In front In You havent had 4 years of varsity foot odus under Moses This edifice was order that (the Indians believe) the ball but you can whip the man that spirit of the departed may get out to huge that it held several hundred has A swimming pool and a gym thousand persons at a time and each nasium dldent put those shoulders on trade guild had its own section The reQualified You And when you walk up and ask for sponses of the congregation had to be Mike —I saw a woman blacksmith a job you know you know your bus- directed by a flag Signal— Dorothea today iness and no man out of a book knows In Collier's Clinton Okla Pat— What was she doing Myer If he knows his or not Mike — ShoolDg chickens Weekly © 1934 THIS WEEK A J Mellott of Kansas City Kan who Is heading the new drive launched from Washington to eliminate the Illicit liquor Industry of the nation He will be nlded In Ids campaign against the bootlegger by a force of ihilltS officials and operatives With Water with water la made possible by a system of pumps designed by a Russian engineer who Intends adapting his Invention for earve a path through the Ice by bombarding It with Jets of water shot out Wt enormous speed and ' force la on the Last Stretch Customer — You said the tortoise I bought from you would live iK0 years and it died the day after bought It Dealer— Now Isn't that too bad I The 300 years must have been up Able to Foretell Good and 3ad Seasons Bird creatures Many wild have uncanny ways of forecasting the weather writes O G pike the naturalist la London They know t® a certainty when a violent change la and those of ua who approaching can read the secrets of the fields are often able to predict coming galea or storma with more certainty than our meteorological office One can underatand a bird or mammal having a presentiment of a gala or storm which Is likely to arrive within a few hours but What can one think of wild birds that are able to arrange their domestic affair according to the kind of weather they are going to live through months ahead? The spotted bower bird of western Australia Is able to accomplish this Her usual clutch of egga la two but she varies the number according to the amount of food she will he able to collect for her family when they arrive If a good season la she will lay three eggs for stinct tells her that food will h If a long drouth Is on Its plentiful she gives up domestic way affairs If mmlcr entirely for that season ate weather la expected a single egg Is laid The mating season la nhnut six weeks ahead of the actual hatching so she has to work out her problems well in advance Pears' Prlvilcga wages Is not one and It Died (30 cents) to be the sum paid at Tyburn exwho cept In the case of noblemen were beheaded were They to give the executioner as much ns f7 ($36) for chopping off their heads If a peer were to be hanged today he could claim the privilege of being snspended by a silken cord — London A hangman’s YOU SUFFER DO FROM NEURITIS? American and European Scientists Agree That Mineral Water Is Beneficial THIS NATURAL WAY TRY People spend hundreds of millions of dollars every year going to the great mineral water health resorts of Europe and America Many of these people have to travel thousands of miles Many of them were untold pain from suffering from arthritis “rheumatic" aches from from gout Others neuritis sullered from certain stomach ailments or excess acid or sluggishness or a general rundown condition The scientific and medical records of Europe and America show that a of these people very large percentage blessed relief and help by gained these natural mineral water treatments however Today you do not have to travel long distances to partake of the healthful qualities of fine nr oral mineral water You do not even have to pay the excessive cost of having it shipped to you in quart or gallon containers For Crazy Water Crystals bring to your own home tlie precious miixrals of one of the world’s line mineral waters in crystal form at a great saving in expense To Crazy Water Crystals absoluteis added All you do is ly nothing add Crazy Water Crystals to your water and you have a great drinking mineral water which has benefited millions If you or any of your friends suffer from “rheumatic" aches or pains we suggest you investigate Crazy Water Crystals at once Just ask any of the millions of people who have given them a full and fair trir! and you will realize how beneficial they have been to so many sufferers The standard size box costs only $150 and makes enough mineral water for several weeks treatment Crazy Mineral Wells Texas Water Co for sale by dealers displaying red and green Crazy Water Crystals sign Get a box today are the Salt Labe City’s preparing for a hard winGermany Is endeavoring ter and with scarcity Minister Propaganda through "to establish hunger as a virtue" and arouse the people’s enthusithe duty of "doing asm concerning without” In this country also we expect a inter but Instead of- a glorifyhard ing of hunger and the "noble patriotism of going without" our government gays: "Nobody shall be hungry" The American plan will be the more popular Edward Montagu second son oe- fmke of Manchester thought he would Join the French Foreign Legion changed his mind started a “hot dog” stand on the edge of the Thames at and Is well satisfied Maidenhead He sells cofTee soft drinks and with his hot dogs and he sandwiches made four pounds In 24 houri and finds hot dogs more comfortable and profitable than the Foreign Legion no flyndlct £ Ring WNU Brvtc Iord Fturi HOTEL TEMPLE SQUARE 200 Rooms 200 Tile Bath Radio connection in every room $1 JO RATES FROM kieeei ERNEST litrmim Tthrmk C ROSSITER Jfgr |