Show THE GARLAND CANT BLAME TIMES GARLAND UTAH ANYONE FOR HIDING srauPTrsMicwe : By JOE MAHONEY They're Happy -- in Their Hermit Heavens! IN CLOTHES By This department has come Into CLOSET REFUGEES of the fact that there possession The case of the young New York such cases Elmer are numerous closet man who lived in clothe for instance Twitchell has a nephfor 10 yfcars and upon his release ew Pastrami Twitchell who has not cried “I want to go back in there I only been in a closet for 10 years don't like it outside” is not as un- but has resisted all efforts to entice him out "He went- in during usual as you might think CLOTHES Hitler’s oratorical tirades over the mike We nearly got him out this season but he heard Vishinsky" Elmer explained "Then he nailed up the door from the inside” — Other cases with statements V AA vVI2 j ihill Chrift HERE nd come here He shall abide table shall be set for our great Gueft be warm and wide Our lamp tie lit our hearth And here He shall find shelter (bod reported today by each o w: Thaddeus Swivelhead: “Yes I have been living In the top drawer of an old dresser for five years 1 crawled in bewar cause of the depressing news all over the world After a little while I heard that the war was over and that peace had been declared I came out read the newspaper headlines and leaped back In again I'm no fool” Zhe flew Mouse AA zzzzzz CLOSET THESE and reft — And He will ralk with us beside our fire We can confide with us through every task each hope and each desire No quettion too And He will walk be great or small to ask Because He lives with us is one of us We shall take care no evil thing be heard lbs ways are kind and courteous Because We shall watch our This is our new house ways our every Lord be Thou spoken word its Head We gladly share its simple fare with Thee Sit at our table break and bless our bread And make us worthy of Thy company DAYS PHILLIPS H Asa living pantry A room across on all night the ball was occupied by an opera atar all day Every few who vocalized weeks there was an eleveator strike in the building And in order to get to my Job I had to cross nine picket lmes So I got into this filing cabinet and mister It seems paradise’ Z Boogie who has been on a shelf in a basement ever since 1943 "I climbed onto this shelf when the prices of everything began rising with go- Jottings vernment controls helping very litThere are so many daily changes tle From time to time I peeked In President Truman's cabinet out and found things getting more that It seems to us something unbearable I am a fugitive from should be done to number the playcocktails beer at ers or abolish the two platoon sysa glass $4 steak dinners tem in government gasoline shrimp cocktails at 10 90 a throw cents for watered $1 “John L Lewis Hopes to Avoid Strike” — Headline soup the $1 25 raw lambchop delivered on the butcher’s block and Wanna bet? people who call up to know what radio program I am listening to Olympia flew to Churchill Downs Come out again? Why?" by plane It was Just for pfactice In his recent races the horse had K G II Stuffinbox who has trouble getting his landing gear been residing in a filing cabinet down for ever so long: "If you wish to talk to me climb in I refuse to "Secretary of Commerce Sawyer come out for anybody I consider administered the oats to his new that I am a sane wise and highly chief aide Cornelius Vanderbilt” You Judicious fellow and all —Journal of Commerce Come others who prefer the outside come boy the setup In Washingworld In its present shape are ton isn’t getting that bad! nuts “The psychiatrist aaid that the “The location of my home and bank looter was clearly a victim my place of employment was such of unbearable emotional conflicts that I had to use the subways for coGpled with a form of latent imnorth and south travel and buses maturity The man attempted to for east and west Once in a while establish an impression of imporwhen I went to a theater I had to tance and In so doing got hopelessget a taxi I lived in an apartment ly Into debt without the stability t where everybody kept the radio correct this condition”— News By MURDER BY TWO Richard H Wilkinson Corner TT SEEMS to be universally said Inspector Ben Odell "that people who aren't in their own element are at a disad- By INEZ GERHARD new vantage BECKER the SANDY “I’m thinking of the time DetecDr In the Malone” CBS daytime aerial started out to tive Sergeant Rod Upshur went up be exactly that a doctor to please to RBund Pond for his summer vaRod was city bred and city hia father But hla mother had al- cation ways been keen about amateur raised He worked on the police theatricals at a tender age he had force of one of the country’s largest He cities didn’t know a great deal appeared in a play with her When he was eight he was making puppets about the country and country and putting on shows at local ways But he knew human nature smart church bazaara So when half way and he was — ”” "Rod was stay- Minute irfg at one of those summer camP Fiction and was having a when dull time Henry pretty Graves the owner came to him with a request ” 'There’s been a drowning np the river a ways’ be explained the local ‘Jed Thomas of fleer isn’t so sure but what there's foul play I know It’s out of your jurisdiction but we'd appreciate having you lend us a hand’ He smiled flatter‘You see your fame as ingly a detector of crime is far reach- “ 3 ing’ “Jed SANDY BECKER school he through abandoned the career of his father’s choice and chose a branch of his mother's hobby radio He has hobbles of his own sculpturing and sketching In winter playing tennis or golf In summer but with his son and daughter limits hla free time Cathy Downs who is featured In Allied Artists’ "Massacre River" Is knitting like mad all because aha posed in six knitted dresses for a fashion layout liked them and decided she could duplicate them herself The success of "Variety Time” has spurred RKO into speeding up vaudeproduction on a ville picture to be called “Make Mine Laugh” It will comprise a batch of new acts and a aeries of "Flicker Flashbacks” for flavor Horace Heidt is planning a musical comedy to feature the youthful talent discovered on his "Original It Youth Opportunity Program" will be titled ’’The Kids Break Through" is tentatively scheduled for this fall on Broadway Patric Knowles is going to let his rustier get even rusty Spanish from now on In Mexico on location for RKO’s "The Big Steal” he had a linguistic disaster when he needed soap asked a storekeeper for ’Sopa"— and got a can of aoupl a farmer by trade Thomas to let was congenial and willing Rod assume the entire burden " ’Fact is Mr Upshur there's been a feud hereabouts Between the Hallams and the Spencers ‘Well sir couple days back Herm and Punk Hallam come to me an' says they was bait diggin' in their lower pasture and suddenly they sees a boat with Pat Spencer In it come sweepin’ ' around the bend He was clear across the river which is about 200 yards wide there an’ they claim he hit a submerged log and stuck They claim he tried to push hisself off with an oar an the oar slipped an’ it an’ him fell overboard sir Well Pat can’t swim an’ he just naturally drowned "Jed Thomas drove Rod out to the Hallam farm and introduced him to Herm and Punk They were big smug strapping fellows amused ” ‘I see’ Rod remarked to Jed ’that you recovered the oar Pat Spencer lost overboard ’Yep’ replied Jed and not too found it caught in some happily needs along the bank about 15 yards I guess he musta lost downstream it just like Punk and Herm said’ "Punk and Herm laughed " ’Wait a minute’ Rod said easily ‘Not so fast boys You two are Too smart all right smart So smart you made one awful blunder I think you’ll be Officer Thomas safe in arresting these men and charging them with murder’ HERM’S mouths fell PATS AND open In fact so did Jed’s Jed Yuh mean said: you know Pat didn’t drowD hisself?’ V “ ‘O course he did!’ Punk an oar dropped overboard near tho nallam said darkly ’Listen bank could never lodge opposite in underbrush along the bank on city Jigger you ain’t cornin’ up here an’ gettin’ away with acthis aide 19 feet from where we're cusin' us o’ murder You ain’t standing It would be two or three scarin’ us none We got each miles down stream by now’ for witnesses’ other "For a minute there was silence ” ’Fine’ said Rod That makes The three men stared at Rod blankly It took quite awhile for the anthe lie all the worse because you to penetrate Officer nouncement both declare you saw Spence fall recovered first fortunately out of the boat first dropping his Thomas He had a gun In his pocket and he No I must confess I am a oar got It out just as Punk Hallam city man and the ways of the coun- Jumped at him He had to shoot try are strange to me However Punk and through the shoulder would know after any dumbbell would have done the same to looking at that river and see- Herm apparently had one more knowbend above here and ing that ounce of grey matter than his ing that there’s a fast current that brother He quit” CROSSWORD PUZZLE SIUB ACROSS 1 5 9 10 12 13 14 15 17 18 6 Jarvis P X Waffle who haa been cello case living in a abandoned ever since 1919: "I got In right after Woodrow Wilson announced America would make the world safe for knew what that would democracy mean Now and then I get a pretty good Una on what life is like outside this cello case and boy am I happy to be where I ami No flyNo video ing aaucer mysteries! comedians! No bop music! No No Jackpots! radio Jingles They can’t even get me Interested In “Stop The Music” The Fiction OUTFIELDER’ THC NATIONAL LEAGUES “LITTLES INVALUABLE ID THE CUBS INASMUCH AS HE CAN AND DOES PLAY ALL OVER THE A TWO DAY PEPOO LAST YEAP DIAMOND FOUR POSITIONS PEANUTS PERFORMED SECOND LEFTFIELD BASE CENTEPFIELD AND SHORTSTOP ! Nazi No 36 lint Single sheet of a book Valley (poet) Donkey Musical drama Rage Attendant spirits (Rom ReL) Fuel Water (French) Thrice (mus) Pale rapchak of state broke the Bill ON RECORD 29 POINTS AN - GREEFC PLAYING A POUND OP GOLF APtANAMIS RYENY SHOT A ON A HOLE OVER 300 'lARDS 19 SPECIAL’ UNCH CENTS SPORT LIGHT Magic Sarazen's Method in GRANTLAND By lea rpIIER'E IS ONE son in golf that the present can take from Gene generation Sarazen This is the vital matter of time and speed It takes most of the modern golf ing generation just an hour longer to play a round of tournament golf than the stocky champion from 1922 employs Sarazen moves along and wastes no time at all Most of today’s leading players wear out the stop watch They take too entirely long to play every shot especially the shots around the green They turn a chip shot into an engineering ceremony turn 8 l°ng‘ ViL’ v' f approach putt into I - I a double engineer V ing job as they sur- ve evrY diP and Grantland Bice roll of the green have followed more than a few matches that required over four hours of play It la Sarasen’a Idea that a or match should be completed In two hours and 45 minutes Hera la Sarazen’s Idea of playing his strokes After the drive he walks briskly to his ball He sizes up the right line and the proper distance as he moves up He takes about three or four seconds to make the proper club selection Then he take his awing On reaching the green stocky Gene takes out his putter and walks up back of the ball not around It He picks out the correct line as he comes to the ball He is then ready to make his putt There is — no waste motion no extra pressure on the nerves — no form of convulsion— and a most pleasant afternoon for the runners who follow the matches Gene figures that with a match the pair should get around in about two hours and 20 minutes “I’d be goofy a nervous wreck If I wasted as much time playing each shot as so many do” Sarazen says "Imagine walking at a snail’s pace from your drive to the green over 200 yards away as I’ve seen several golfers do Imagine taking seven or eight minutes to use up two putts I would think that after a few holes many of these players woulu be hearing funny noiSea under their caps I know my nerves would be In knots J RICE "One of the main reasons why I’ve been able to hang around for 27 years is the fact that I’ve saved my nerves by playing rather quickThe longer you take to play ly the greater a shot the pressure you put on your swing “Make quickly your decisions and definitely Never have any reached once for doubt you’ve what you think should be the right or overt club And don't swing But above all walk briskly and don’t take up too much time shots Especially playing your around the greens” Getting the Jump a pair of young Quite recently men by the names of Billy and Leo Durocher were disthe National league pencussing nant race Both agreed on one point “This is a good year” both said “to reach July Fourth a few games In front For the team in front after July Fourth will have a better chance to hold a lead The Na“Why? Simple enough tional league clubs are so that It will be harder than ever to close up any gap The others won’t let you The eight clubs have as they never been as are this year “For example If the Reds had Blackwell they would be Just about as good as any team in the league There Isn’t much to spar from top to bottom” This was the expressed opinion of two of the league’s veteran managers—two of the best in the game today Eddie Dyer told me before starting North that the league might be less than 10 games apart at the finish That means from top to bottom Eddie didn’t say it would be — he said it might be I honestly believe that if the Reds had the Ewell Blackwell of 1947 they would be about even money against any of the other seven teams But baseball is full of breaks— Injuries accidents mistakes and team spirit Some teams quit quicker than others do They let the psychological burden knock them over They This quit before they are beaten can be a battle of the gamest teams — the game teams against the quitters ”1 was rather astonished" Billy Southworth said “to see how strong the Phillies were They hava a fine outfield and good Infield” 28 An awn Border Pressure marks Town announcer 29 Native of Denmark 30 Huts 31 Lift 33 Viper 36 Club 37 Distresa signal 40 Mount 23 27 28 42 Open boat 44 45 46 Conical tent Like malt 47 (Eskimo) Covered with dew God of love (Gr myth ) DOWN 1 Goddess 2 the moon (Rom myth) Units of work Part of ”to be" 3 4 5 6 Woods Fashion Simian of vanished wporarily 8 One of the Great Lakes 7 9 32 33 Paper container 16 30 Ventilate Exclamat- ion 18 19 20 21 Flower Courage Say further Narrow inlet 22 24 25 Tavern Perish Jelly like 34 Crested Monastery Division of a play Vehicle with runners Aiawar U Paul 33 37 38 Conduit Fodder vat Cereal 39 41 43 Firmament Gull (Eur) Disfigure grain a Namkaf U bp'-- - (geol) ') substance 26 Bitter vetch 28 A UTILITY ASHTRAY period dresa SarlM K— 4S MAKE A SAFE AMD YOUR WORKSHOP AND ATTACHING USEFUL ASHTRAY FOR JUG BY USING A (tAN OR A PIECE OF BENT WIRE |