Show J THE GARLAND TIMES GARLAND UTAH A Political Bystander calif— h Hollywood orator say the Democrats wouldn’l convenneed a keynoter at their would b tion when a If on the other more suitable hand I were a Democratic I’d say the Republicans needed no campaign committee whereas a set of pallbearers would be highly appropriate As a Republican spellbinder I’d proclaim we were giving Puerto Rico four I’d years ually us In w hlch grad- to cut loose from because should Democratic outfit the win In November by the end of those four years the Puerto Ricans will be used to Indesome having pendence and we’ll be ued to having none at all As a DemoI’d cratic champion come right back by out that pointing since Puerto Rico would starve to death anyhow under a Republican ad ministration congress mercifully was taking steps to let the people down to there get accustomed by degrees the starvation process As an Innocent bystander though about all I can say Is that once the have been made nominations It’s a safe prediction that this summer will be fair and warmer Revenue Program Meandering members of the senate finance — poor things! — seem to be going forward with the new revenue program the same way a land crab makes headway — by traveling backward At last accounts they were so snarled up In figures and language that any minute the rescue party was to rush In with bush hooks expected and chop them loose Row ever out of the epileptic seizure Into which these unfortunate patriots have been enmeshed one concrete fact has emerged There will be a slight of dues on the profits of exemption corporations making less than $15000 a year This will he a great boon for trunk stores down by the depot brokerage firms handling second hand railroad tunnels and dealers In Brazilian Till IKE MESCAL jjuat-- l He huntuy' Doesn’t Scare Easy A cows’ f HIDEOUTSIDE' ivier fjr I Lolly Gad: butterflies MOW IKTT THAT JUST LCtL HTL ALUUAV9 COMiKX aaoumO lHAftO fCrriirfcC FINNEY OF THE FORCE U br X:±°£zuz New Socialist Argument TPHE trouble with being a socialist A that no matter what you start yjrru A LUOC STOftV Hwly Tr4 Viflt Rtf U ft Pit 0i) Crashing Into the Dough OHaol°XFER Fwue ft A m ADAMSON’S ME(?CHiaJT wwrr lEAvej Coop siiiFF H A VlMDER AT MOISHT LIABLE 6T A dREAK IS To &D ADVENTURES Th Tree Crocodile The customer prosed most exacting and the clerk was growing Impatient “Now are you sure this la genuine crocodile skin?" the customer Inquired critically examining a handbag “Quite sure madam” was the reply “You see know the man who shot that crocodile” “It looks rather dirty” remarked the customer “Well yes" replied the assistant “that' where the animal struck the ground when It fell out of the tree” — The Automohllst Leal fer Good said little Joan plead“Mommy” ingly “can please hare another piece of toffee 7" “I’ve only Just given you a piece” said mother “What happened to It?” “Tre lost It" the child replied “Where did you lose It?" mother In- quired I Just put It In my went right down” Joan '—‘Pearson’s Weekly mouth and tj Informed her — —— 0 SNAPSHOTS OF A BOT Cl£as WKuti mcThe t UnwedS oe AiV ’ mu ahctut 1 cooa m srj nci 0t S aua l 0 Bxxwp urn MAH as wta mat W Id or WCULTNT JAM SOSPT w r gluyas williams FOR A COOKIE ftuawt ho out ib Krttstit JttMh WWt JOSt mori 9 su jcr woanri’i Hurrtwl 5c SIC HKSLaF MV C£N1 (CnrxHv ASKING totwu rtts axuott HwCW SKI MV lock jye vrw wrv V” ROt“P wo OlfWa wMrri a at tma fcuaws ie MOfoTciNt Ml REUiV HUKY her teat - WOW Hf np gathering: “Now aboudt not ledding nobody bang out vashlug In the hallwuys— that’s reasonable I start beginning that reform right away "Und as to keeping garbages off the front fire escape— veil vy nodt? “But say vot do you suckers me do aboudt the Scottsboro boys?" Sauce for the Goose feels upset and WHEN aIdsbricklayer wife that’s temper and he gets $30 or 30 days But when a flicker star goes on a similar tantrum and wrecks an expensive set that’s artistic temperument and the studio gives her some silver fox furs to calm her nerves Thus It goes If a couple In say Peoria break up why then a couple In I’eorla have broken up But If the same thing occurs In Hollywood It variably Is featured as a “nuptial rift" A lad In Kansas takes his girl to Ye Olde New Era eatery for dinner and what with the blue plate specials and the tip the transaction to amounts $180 but otherwise creates no special excitement either locally or throughout the nation Let the same thing happen to a couple of the least of the mov ie ctdony and 20 columnists fight their way to the wire to scatter the thrilling tidings By 0 JACOBSSON The Getaway Is to debate you always wind up on the Tom Mooney case Or at least such was the situation until recently Now for any socialistic argument on any from German measles to the subject Great Wall of China there Is a new climax The tenants of a Bronx apartment house mostly radicals held a meting and In accordance with the best radical traditions drew up resolutions demanding that the management do this and that Having read the fiery protest the superintendent addressed the Twq r: Choosing a New “Buddha" C'ROM the forbidden of kingdom Tibet although goodness knows they never had any trouble keeping me out— comes word that after a two years’ search a new “living Buddha" baa been discovered However we have our own grand lummer already the name being Joe Louis The news from Lhasa should give to the poor unhappy encouragement congressional committeemen who are prominently connected with the Townsend plan who’ll condescend to talk to them You may quarrel with the bookkeeping with their way handling the contributed dimes of thousands of trusting oldsters with their failure to explain where they’re going to get the billions to pay those gaudy pensions or how the provisions of the distribution arg to be enforced but at least the leaders are too proud to endanger their social positions by being caught with a lot of USf MACPtlV AM COOKIE of congressmen 1416 IRVIN CopjTtf S COBB |