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Show Page 5 The Garfield County Insider April 16, 2009 tHe lAuGhiNg pOiNt!! Are You HELP WANTED Team Coach: Duties include working directly with students 13 – 17 years old. Must be a positive role model, interacting with students during evening and weekend recreational activities. All shifts available. Qualifications: Must be 21 years old, have a high school diploma, current driver’s license and able to pass a background check. Wage DOE. Interested individuals may send cover letter and resume to Lee Ann Fielding at 435-676-8482 or fax 435-676-8488 lfielding@silveradoboysranch.com Dental Assistant Needed Compassionate, hard working, self-motivated, PT. Experience preferred, but we will train. $8.50/hr. (more if trained). Call - Panguitch Dental at 676-2443. MARKETING DIRECTOR South Central Communications has an immediate opening for a director of sales/ marketing/business development who will create, implement and oversee the company’s marketing plan. Will manage and develop business plans, implement sales of telecommunications products and services, and supervise sales and marketing staff to accomplish company objectives. Bachelor’s degree in marketing with 5 years of work experience requred. Applications accepted until 04/17/09. For full job description or to email resumes contact us at hr@socen.com Psychiatrist needed: Part-time (1-2 days per month) consulting to provide medication management and consultation at a Therapeutic Boarding School in southern Utah. Prior experience with an adolescent population preferred. Please send CV or resume care of: LeeAnn Fielding, Silverado Boys Ranch, P.O. Box 919, Panguitch, UT 84759 or e-mail directly to lfielding@ silveradoboysranch.com Garfield Memorial Hospital Garfield Memorial Hosptial and Clinic has job openings in the following areas. Jobs will close when filled. Apply at www.intermountainhealthcare.org or call Carla 435-6761256. Req # 61809 - Patient Account Service Rep - Fulltime with benefits Req # 62004 - Housekeeper Fulltime with benefits. NOTICE Garfield County is accepting applications for a part-time employee at the Escalante Senior Center. Applications are available at the Escalante Senior Center , 89 North 100 West, Escalante or the County Courthouse, Panguitch. Applications will be accepted at the Senior Center or Courthouse until 5 p.m.,Monday, April 6, 2009. Garfield County reserves the right to accept or reject any or all applications. Garfield County is an equal opportunity employer. Full Time Professional Real Estate Services Serving Escalante, Boulder, Brian Head & St. George www.trailsendre.com For Great Real Estate Service.... Come Visit Us at 10 W. Main St., Escalante or Call Leslie Venuti 435-668-0540 or Denise Olson 435-680-4663. We can show all properties in the area and assist you with all your buying or selling needs. ESCALANTE: ‘Reduced!’ - Updated 3 bdrm home with new paint, fixtures & appliances. Oversized garage with workshop area and shed. $136,900. This home & many others qualify for the First Time Homebuyer Tax Credit of up to $8,000.00. Available to anyone that hasn’t had ownership during the last 3 years. Call for further details don’t let this great opportunity pass you by! FIRST DOG, AT LAST! There’s two little girls, Malia and Sasha. The White House is their crib, Were getting to think that their daddy, the Prez, Had been telling them a big fib. He promised to get them a doggy, you see, When McCain’s campaign had to fold up, And, hey, it’s pret’ near three months, already. What in the world is the hold-up? He only has two wars to deal with, And health care, finance, and such matters, And Congress and other such pirates, Who all seem, at times, mad as hatters. But finally the pooch has made the scene, And I, for one, think it’s super. I wonder how much Secret Service it takes To manipulate one pooper-scooper. I predict that the right-wing talk show boys Will talk up a virtual hurricane. ‘Cause the dog is a foreign Portugese pup! What’s wrong with buying Amurricane? All Right? Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical of most models, this Resusci-Annie was only a torso, to allow for storage in a carrying case. The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked “Are you all right?” He then put his ear over the mannequin’s mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, “She said she can’t feel her legs!” Letter to the Bank Dear Sirs, In view of current developments in the banking market, if one of my checks is returned marked “insufficient funds,” does that refer to me or to you? Guard-ening A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter, “Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.” A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “You won’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden.” My ten-year-old granddaughter asked me what a colon was. I explained that it was a part of the body that food goes through before being eliminated. Then she asked me what a semicolon was. I told her, “It’s a colon the size of a truck, with eighteen wheels.” Directory Assistance “I’d like the telephone number of the Theater Guild.” “One moment, please. I’m sorry, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.” “No, no. It isn’t a person. It’s an organization. It’s Theater Guild.” “I told you, sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.” “Not Theodore! Theater! The word is theater! T-H-EA-T-E-R!” “That, sir, is not the way Theodore is spelled.” It Makes Sense...By Veda Hale Advice from Snopes.com http://snopes.com 1) Any time you see an EMail that says forward this on to ‘10’ of your friends, or sign this petition, or you’ll get bad luck, good luck, or whatever, it almost always has an E-Mail tracker program attached that tracks the cookies and E-Mails of those folks you forward to. 1) The host sender is getting a copy each time it gets forwarded and then is able to get lists of ‘active’ E-Mails to use in SPAM E-Mails, or sell to other spammers. 2) Almost all E-Mails that ask you to add your name and forward on to others are similar to that mass letter years ago that asked people to send business cards to the little kid in Florida who wanted to break the Guinness Book of Records for the most cards. All it was, and all any of this type of E-Mail is, is a way to get names and ‘cookie ‘ tracking information for telemarketers and spammers - - to validate active E-Mail accounts for their own profitable purposes. You can do your friends and family members a GREAT favor by sending this information to them; you will be providing a service to your friends, and will be rewarded by not getting lots of spam E-Mails in the future! If you have been sending out (FORWARDING) the above kinds of E-Mail, now you know why you get so much SPAM! Do yourself a favor and STOP adding your name(s) to those types of listings regardless how inviting they might sound! You may think Poems written by Ray Conrad www.raymondconrad.com BAKE SALE APRIL 25th Locations: Burr Trail Grill & Trading Post and the Boulder Post Office 10:00 - 12:00 a.m. 4-H Fundraiser Donations Welcome Thank you for supporting the local Boulder Broncs 4-H Horse Club Raffle for Dutch Oven Tickets available at Boulder Exchange The Burr Trail Trading Post and of course at both bake sale locations, or ask Katie (616-7379) Colon results of puzzle from APRIL 9th you are supporting a GREAT cause, but you are NOT in the long run. Instead, you will be getting20tons of junk mail later! Plus, we are helping the spammers get rich! Let’s don’t make it easy for them! Also: E-Mail petitions are NOT acceptable to Congress or any other or ganization. To be acceptable, petitions must have a signed signature and full address of the person signing the petition. Read the full story here: Http://www.snopes.com/ inboxer/petition/Internet. asp<http://www.snopes. com/inboxer/petition/Internet.asp> Send suggestions to Veda Hale Box 956, Panguitch, Utah 84759 or email vedahale@hotmail.com |