Show M M Success He Ile built a poem of the time lime 4 And every full of foot dreamy in It ri was autumn u rhyme J days s Of or leaves and hues and golden rays When every line would neatly scan He Ile sent it to the printer man The printer man was sore oppressed 1 with pains beneath his laundered vest From eating dough and hasty lunch ti Ills Ilia stomach was an aching bunch And long he raved and tore his hair hairAt hairAt At what the scribe had written there The fiercest rot he ever read read Is what the printer madly said The hungry poet sighed no sigh Instead he winked the other e eye e That night he tolled by light candle To fix to the poem up just right THE PRINTER MAN SWEARS To dialect he changed the verse If anything he made I it worse s g He dres He killed the head a and added one That had a hint h of burled fun t eh ir rf Then for t the e printer I man once mor more He stuck the poem neath the door The he man of type had just brought In ins A contract that would yield some tin s His stomach it it was calm and fine He read that poem line for line I Quite filled with mirth he laughed li it n glee Then sent the bard a golden V. V The moral is do not d despair But dally daily watch the t bill b l of fare Success c In life is s but t a lt t fake When founded on the stomachache Ti 9 Benighted Justice A vagrant in the Chicago Chica o police court quoted poetry in extenuation o o. of his Ills crime and the judge judg gave him Fin sixty Daily i Paper Ho and all thy ilk Apollo leader of the muse Ho Eo Poets new and ripe Ye Te scribblers who in verse enthuse Lend us your weapons poison polson dart darts Sarcasm deep derision sharp That we may stab this common foe This low despoiler of the harp And you Calliope go weep weep- 5 Heroic maiden malden that thou art art art- The fair indicting of the scroll But plays a part Twice Twice thirty thirty days God save the mark markl It seems the news could not be worse IB Is Is' Is what thy servant hapless wight 4 Is IB sentenced to for tor verse I Alas The world Is out of Joint 4 When rhythmic inspiration sweet The T breath of nymphs the t pulse l of kings rJ mg Is spurned and st at Justices Justice's c feet For once the precedent is set The direst t sentence will p le prevail y G Gad z zooks Twill be but fleeting hour When all of us will go to to Jail Oh Ohl Woe is us Euterpe Gods 3 And Goddesses who h deftly twang ti Yoi k The mystic chords d of passions passion's lyre e I Before to-morrow's to sun we hang hangl Then hen let us wield the blades of scorn And call the whiskered tyrants tyrant's bluff bluff- t. t For surely fifty days and nine To suit the crime were quite enough lye SMOKING UP UPA v box of matches A Kansas man ate a and died The coroners coroner's jury found liver normal but there was an his V y exaggerated condition of his lights A woman never so serious seriously y Injures her lier thumb driving nails that she can- can r not keep ep a a. man under nd i. i it it if It she 4 f chooses y Americans consume consume- co e b cigars annually No wonder w have I Indian summer Ill oum r m-e-r r 3 i f F |