Show r ALWAYS PRAISES i oc 0 fellow tellow Jones reminds me of ot a That tombstone Because ho Is dead set get In his hie way eh No because he always has a good word for tor a man when hes he's down Wandering Tootsies Twinkle twinkle little feet teet Of Ot a a. chorus girl so neat i. i How v I wonder If It those tootsies I Are relieved relle by Ellens Ellen's foot ease N. N. N Y Tribune Unavailable Talent Now that your boy has finished college college col col- lege legs I dare say he will be a great help to you rou II In your our business Im afraid not answered Mr Grab- Grab coin You see I devote all my attention attention attention at at- to the manufacture of shirts ana overalls If It I were the proprietor of a dancing academy however myson my myson myson son would prove an Invaluable assistant assistant as as- o Nothing More to Say Does your our wife lay down the law to you Many times and oft replied the meek-looking meek man And how do you rou act acU Oh Just like an ordinary litigant whose case Is passed on by the Supreme Supreme Su Suo preme court t r l The Heartless Handshake Of course a man can get along If it he keeps still sUll and shakes hands with everybody Evan shaking hands requires dis dis- I know a man who alot a lost a lot lotof lotof of friends by Imitating the bus busy h hand hand- nd shakers who lift you along gently and firmly for fear tear you will try to start a conversation e His Causes v Ananias got Into trouble unlike any any other business man could do How so Through both his assets and lie- lie abilities An Insinuation How How must feel when theah is bawn an Idiot doncher know Miss Cutting Yes Cutting Yes Indeed I have hav always felt sorry for your parents A i i Wise Youth Did your father catch that admirer of yours he dislikes when he started to kick him out No indeed You see George believes believes believes be be- in tn preparedness On the Trip A Captain Captain A fine day and a good wind I see things coming our way way Just now s Timid Passenger Passenger-I I hope none of them is a torpedo T A FAIRY TALE J i. i j ji r i o i jr fI f o o IA A. A 1 a t i c i J Is Is the house that Jack built a fairy tale ita R papa 1 t Yes dear Why is it a fairy airy tale t Because it didn't cost any more than the f r architects architect's estimate i Getting at the Facts Y You ou are opaque are you not 7 sar ear asked a man In the crowd of lOt another who was standing in front of ot him Faith an Olm not replied the 3 other its OBrien O'Brien I 01 Oi do Abe De be f r I The Balance t Wife Wife looking at her sh shopping paris par- par eel There el-There There is no body in this material materi al sal of my purchase Husband looking at his Theres There's There's Theres plenty of spirit In Jn mine J DISCOURAGING TALENT I understand a reform wave struck this town last year said the stranger tho the native Thero There Yep Yep replied was considerable excitement hereabouts hereabouts here here- for a spell Was anybody hurt Well WeH no You see Bee this town wasn't as bad as some o o 0 them reformers reformers reformers re re- re- re formers seemed to think They made It pretty hot for our lead leadin In checker players however an th only Cham Cham- 10 pe peen n weve we've produced In th past years got plum disgusted an moved away to what ho he said was vms a more enlightened enlightened en If lightened community It All Air Depends I suppose you are a believer in harmony remarked the garrulous harbor barDe Sometimes I am and sometimes Im I'm not replied the local politician How is that queried the knight of the lather brush Well Nell take tako your business for example ex ex- ample answered the 1 1 p. p I fail tall tos to s see see e Just why you OU and your razor should pull together it Making Sure Sure I wish to buy some ointment Yes madam Will you open open the Jar Why this is a sealed package Yours is an unusual request I know But Ive I've often otten heard that theresa theres a fly in the ointment and I wish to make sure that there Is iss none in what I buy THE BRUTE t n-t nty y t u 1 This piece of lace on my dress Isoye is over oye 50 years old Its It's beautiful DI Did you make It yourself Sure Who has the gift of repartee Might Night Just as well wen go lose It it Unless he has the wit to see sea seeThe seeThe The proper time to use it Heard In Barber Shop Theres a lot of truth In th the old say say say- Ing ng remarked the headed bald victim In n the chair of torture that a fool and its his money are soon parted you now queried he the butcher barber as he proceeded to toomb comb the victims victim's missing locks with a owel towel Did the boss work you for a bottle of his hair tonic Dire Result How did that amateur pianist at athe atthe atthe the he concert execute your composition lion tion He didn't execute execute it at all He murdered mur dered it In the Restaurant He He Now He-Now Now ow dear we will have a a. a course dinner She She She-Oh Oh you mean thing You promised you would give me a fine one H Her Bet Dolly Dolly And And you tell me that you have hav graduated from the school of experience r 42 01 Cholly Cholly-Ah Cholly Ah yes Dolly Ill Dolly Ill I'll bet It was a night school Tiger Its True Tru Value The Parson Parson Now Now tell me candidly doctor doctor octor Is there really anything in this so-called so Imaginary illness of women The Doctor well there Um well there is about a year in it for me At the Boarding House Mrs Skimp you would make a very popular railroad manager Why do you say Bay that Mr Grouch 7 Because of your tendency to keep cut cutting down the tho fare tare Drew a Lemon What kind of f a husband did your sister get Aw she got a lemon He makes her economize on clothes to pay for tor forthe forthe the candy and flowers be sent her before before be be- i fore tore they were married A Willing Worker Mamma said little Louisa Louise what is a schemer A schemer my dear replied the knowing mother Is Ie a man who would rather swindle a fellow man out of ofa a nickel than earn a dollar by honest labor Novelty Demanded You dont don't say down with tho the trusts 1 in your our speeches any more No replied Senator Senator- Sorghum mine are like other audiences Youve You've gotto got Jo to give em m something new new a l o |