Show Strange Inventions at Patent Office tk fi r saving Labor devices devices devices de de- WASHINGTON WASHINGTON- vices are always in demand the thousand inventors of this country are I all devoting 90 per cent ot oC their time timeto i to producIng such things each in the hope of winning for himself fame tame and fortune cash and credit said a patent pat Pat- e ent nt attorney the other day Jay in Wash Wash- i ington One of the strangest strange t of of these schemes to lighten the worlds world's work Is n l patent recently obtained by an nn I ingenious person In Des Moines Ia la It IE Is s called the tipping self hat and andIs andis andis is designed to save the popular person person person per per- son from the fatiguing labor of removing removing removing re re- re- re moving his hat every time he meets one of the talc far sex with whom he is I acquainted Much valuable energy Is utilized in tipping the hat repeatedly says the inventor and my device will wm relieve relieve re re- re lieve one of It and at once cause the hat to be lifted from the head In a natural manner It Is a novel device device device de de- vice In other words for effecting polite polite polite po po- po- po lite salutations by the elevation and rotation of the hat on the head of the saluting party when said person bows to the person saluted the actuation of the hat being produced by mechanism mechanism mechanism mech mech- within it and without the use of the hands In any manner No truly rural person ever could Ho How One Senator Viewed the Comet I i I I r rI I I N NI HAD no particular interest in Halley Hal Hal- I I 1 ley or his comet says Senator Simmons of North Carolina but Mrs Simmons had Every morning while the papers were full of the phenomenon non we would get up at two or three Then Mrs 1 Simmons would lead me to a window and point out a adark adark adark dark line in the sk sky It didn't look much of a comet to me but she insisted insisted insisted in in- that it was and I took her word for it One morning we went through our regular performance The more I looked then the less I was convinced that we had seen the comet at all At length after an investigation I discovered discovered dis dis- discovered covered that our comet was the dim outline of a church steeple against the sky Nice performance for a dignified senator to rise every every- morning to look at a steeple All AU of the members of the house are are not acquainted with each other and this often leads to funny mistakes v r HE unusual privilege of the floor T THE of the house of representatives was granted to Louis and Temple Abernathy Abernathy Ab- Ab sons of United States Marshal Marsha Marshal Mar Mar- I Ab-I sha Jack Abernathy of Frederick Okla a few days ago The boys who are nine and six respectively rode their ponies from their home In Oklahoma Oklahoma Oklahoma Okla Okla- homa to New York Yort where they were to meet their friend Colonel Roose Roose- vent On their way they stopped in Washington for a few days Uncle Joe Cannon was wad was responsible ble for the appearance of Louis and Temple on the floor They wore their sombreros and long cowboy pants tucked into boots and th the year six had upon the front of his top piece a deputy United States mar marshals marshal's hals hal's badge I They were the breeziest things in the juvenile line to have struck Capitol I hill hm recently The congressmen gasped Gt HEY are fussed up out at Fort THEY 1 Myer Myel where the cavalry has Its headquarters Recently a Washington Washing Washing- ton youth who got tired of his ways and the ways of the world In general and who had sufficient money to go those ways swiftly decided to enlist He did so In the ordinary manner Then one day when he had leave an automobile was drawn up outside of or orthe the fort and the recruit sauntered out and got into It The officers saw him driven away and their amazement was considerable The lines are definitely drawn at the fort tort There wo rao several streets with square houses have been responsible for the Invention invention tion of eyeglasses for chickens which was protected by United States patents recently The glasses are modeled much after the fashion of grandpas grandpa's specs the tho nose rest being enlarged to go over o the chickens chicken's head while the ear hooks are Joined In the back I No claim Is made that the chickens chicken's chickens chicken's chickens chicken's chick chick- ens en's eyesight Is p poor or or or that magni tiers flers ever eYer are needed that It may the better discover the reluctant worm or orthe orthe the elusive bug but the Inventor does say sat sa that the glasses are are designed to prevent chickens pecking out each others other's eyes The Inventors Inventor's attempt to enforce all chickens to wear the device by legislative action In Kansas did not succeed I may say Members of secret societies who sometimes may be put to much trouble to secure a sufficiently goat for the purpose of initiating new members to their respective lodges will be glad to learn that the inventive inventive invent invent- ive genius of America has come to their assistance The device Is a mechanical mechanical me me- chancal goat which can be put in n the closet closed when not needed that requires no feeding and practically no care Also it may be handled by Its keeper without fear of consequences The candidate blindfolded Is led to the side of the animal It he takes his his' seat placing h s feet i t. t In stirrups on either side e font fontIs Is pushed l about the the- m rj series of wn V j sand and nd rods rods gea f Med i 1 t 4 the wheels on which it runs caus causes 3 the animal to buck and rear In n a fearful fearful fear fear- fear ful manner keeping the candidate In continual danger of being belm shaken off Though Adam Monroe 1 Byrd has bas been in four congresses he made one of these mistakes the other da day Byrd was making a tariff tarm speech He lie comes from Mississippi and of course he lie thinks the present tariff is about the worst bill that could have been framed He reached the woolen schedule and he went up and down the aisle directly addressing first one member member- and then another At length he paused at a desk occupied by a small man roan with a Van Dyke beard Byrd allowed to this small man that the woolen schedule was vicious The small man nodded sympathetically Byrd pounded tho the small mans man's desk vehemently Knowing all the things I have said to be true why did you vote ote for this schedule Byrd demanded of th the small man I did not vote for it it You mean to tell this house that tha t you did not vote for the tariff bill I do said the small manWell man Well V n said Byrd I admire you for your convictions By this time the house was splitting splitting splitting split split- ting its sides The rhe small man was wa s Representative Edward W. W Saunders Saunder s of Virginia who is Is of course a a Democrat and who equally of course did not vote for the Payne bill Oklahoma Kids See Sights of Capital I and flocked around them How do you OU like Washington the speaker asked the youngsters Bully Dully said the boys who used to know President Roosevelt and had some White House slang Well VeIl my lads said the speaker this city belongs to of peo pea pie You own just as much of it as Andrew Carnegie or John D. D Rockefeller Rocke Rocke- feller The baby deputy marshal looked very important He gazed longingly out of the window as much as to say that if he could have his share he would take the Washington menu menu- How much do you ride asked the speaker Oh forty or fifty miles mlles a day answered answered an answered the wolf catchers son You kids You mean a week said the speaker The Abernathys looked bored Naw they said a day We make 50 miles a day easy But the army test said Uncle Joe 90 miles in three days I thought that was a pretty severe test teslIn In horseback riding for Cor grown men too Millionaire Soldier Causes Big Stir I and neat lawns in front In houses the officers live The private mess together in n the big main build building building ing log in n the Inclosure The officer couldn't quite see a private coming u II and anel from headquarters in a machine But they couldn't help themselves because he was entitled to certain lea leaves ves and when he got them he was wasat wasat wasat at liberty to ride tide in a balloon If he be so soW socho chase cho W e. e Then to cap the climax one night there was a ball at a swagger downtown downtown downtown down down- town hotel It t was given by members members of the set In which the young solder soldier soldier sol sol- dier der had bad been wont to move He was was invited and he be went The officers cast many Icy stares his way but ut he let them go So far there has been a lot lotof lotof lotof of talk in n officers' officers row at Fort Myer Myel but there has bas been no action It 1 is saddening to a gilt braid mans man's heart hean to see a thing like this and to be abt ahl to do nothing about It |