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Show THE 12 9 Decjaillle tilhs Weatmair TEESM school. Not so many years ago that was more than the number of women A sense of humor is supposed to indicate high mentality. Yet laughter began with barbarism. The ancients only laughed when someone got hurt. The cannibals laughed when they cooked a missionary. We laugh when a fat man falls down, and it was only a few years ago when motion picture comics were all made with slap sticks and custard pies. Isn't it a fact that most laughter is still caused by someone's discomfiture or someones ridiculousness ? Do we laugh at the really noble, grand things of life? Do we laugh at the thrills of enjoyment we get from nature or just at the funny things people do? When we can feel only sorrow or contrition for the misfortunes of others, and laugh with pure enjoyment at the things God has given us to have joy in, then can we be said to be truly civilized. Alfred Hampton is entitled to some sort of a special award for his V golfing persistence. Not, you understand, that he ever will be state champion or play to record crowds in exhibition matches. Nor, for that matter, is he very vitally concerned if he never breaks eighty. his golf avBut he must-haverage though it may be and weather and winter are no bars. Mr. Hampton plays over the Nib-le- y Park course during the summer months. He plays with rare devo-tio- n to the game. He comes to the course fully armed with the proper assortment of clbus. Then, after due thought and consideration, he selects one of the bats and devotes himself wholly and contentedly to oiling up his swing on the club he e . selects. That process lasts about half an . CITIZEN hour. Then a few minutes of locker room gossip, and hes ready for the round or two, or three. The number of times he goes around the course really is of no consequence. The finish is provided on the second green, where Mr. Hampton takes his putter and a couple of balls and putts for awhile. Thus goes the round. Its a scientifically planned program, with an eye for completeness and thoroughness that is of no little concern in the routine of the assidious linkster. That is, the aforementioned is the summer routine. But in winter, not playing golf during the regular season, and the good response to the urge for action at this early date is a good indication of what the season's play will mean to the fairer sex. From a bystanders point of view, it looks like the most successful golfing, season for women in the history of the sport in Utah. The suggestion of The Citizen, for a ranking committee to work with the Utah State Golf Association in selecting the ranking golfers of the state, is creating added agitation for such a body. The idea is not original with The Citizen, but it is a revival of former suggestions, and this time may meet with more success. The boys down at the golf school are not concerned with the opening of the weather for the outdoor participation as much as might be thought. Last Sunday there were 60 golfers at the school, and a steady whack of club against ball is evident on week days as well. The closing date, with an eye to an early spring, has been set at August 1. Harry Borg, young Ogden Golf and Country Club pro, is preparing for his summers work up north. Harry leaves the first of the week to open up the shop in the new so. Mr. Hampton must have his golf, but not in such copious quantities. He wraps himself up, takes his trusty bats, and hies himself out to the municipal links. He has done this every Sunday ever since the closing of the regular season, and as a result, claims the unusual distinction of being the only golfer in the state of Utah who has played golf every Sunday through one season and into another. Its considerable of a feat. But it bothers Mr. Hampton. He can't indulge in the full and formal ritual that makes the game complete for him. The locker room, the putting green, the warming up jon the second process are missing. And so, although he has had his golf all winter, Air. Hampton is going to be a very pleased person when the warm weather approaches and he can talk his golf as well as play't. Washington's birthday this year marks the first year since the Country Club was constructed during which golfers have not been able to play on the canyon course on that date. That's about eight seasons Owith only one miss on the twenty-secon- d of February. women There are twenty-eiggolfers registered on the books of the professionals at the indoor golf ht An Atlanta man has been married five times and on each occasion he picked a girl named Helen. Perhaps he likes 'em named that way so he can call 'em Hel for short. thats a fine thing to start a so called humorous column with, isn't Now it? licensed and taxed and listed in the rogues gallery. Gas is taxed and sold over the bar in licensed dispensaries. As yet we have no gasoline speak easies. Soon the driver will be licensed, and if caught skidding will be liable to have his license revoked. And all on account of careless driving; the same as prohibition is the result of careless drinking. In other words we have brought it on ourselves and we ought to take our medicine. We are in favor of licensing drivers and if one of them is caught bootlegging, take him out and stand him up against a brick wall and slap him on the wrist. - An old timer in a small western town, who is noted for his ness, went into a meat market run by a man also well known for his sound convictions. I want that there piece of beef, he said, Im agoin to bile it with turnips.'' That aint no bilin piece, the butcher, thats said a roast. I dont care, OUR PRIMER The cow The track The train Kersmack ! Thanks for the editorial on jay walking. Looks as if the auto driver may have one friend left. It is getting to a point that when a man is asked if he drives a car he hangs his head in shame and reluctantly admits his guilt. Driving a car is becoming more or less a criminal offense. The car is replied the old f, timer, Im agoin' to bile it. No ye aint, said the butcher, ye old walrus, that there piece "o' meats a roast and ye cant bile it. See here, ye hard headed mackerel, said the old timer, what do you care what I do with it? Wall, I do care, answered the meat cutter, ye aint agoin ter bile nc fust class roast like that Oh, well, said the old timer, I aint got time to argue all day with no cranky old sardine like you, wrap it up for a roast then. The butcher wrapped it up and made the change and just as the old timer was going out of the door he' looked back and called out, But Ill bile it, ye old sea cook, see if I don't. ' A MOTHER GOOSE BOY Little Jack Horner sat in a corner Eating an Eskimo pie. He put in his finger and froze it, by ginger, And said what a darn fool am I. IIOW DO THEY DO IT? Advertisement in a Salt Lake paper. Papering done. With paper $8 per room. Without paper $5. It is now suggested that the Congressional Record be printed on the. new paper made of cornstalks. If this is done the farmers will have to raise more cornstalks. These days the husband who is a good provider doesnt seem to be as popular as the one who is a good fox-trott- er. In gathering a pound of honey a bee travels 43,776 miles. |