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Show THE CITIZEN 9 L TV 11111 I Ilnur fi OBSERVATION PLANE Yale ned af . Illinium cies will draw the departed soul out cf its obscurity to shout at us. The life principle, he says, is an aggregation of infinitesmal cells callof which 95 per ed cent are workers and 5 per cent "directors. That seems more like a corporation than a soul and a soulless life-entitie- s, - 'wtCan't or as a cigarette any time, any place. But gum is immoral because it puts murderous thoughts in the minds of those it offends. Smoke y Chew; TnJodthwick Does record herewith a noat that. dding ble piece of news. It came under Did you ever sit in a theatre dis- - corporation Gf course the directors have their ce thete direct observation of the newspa-i- r tending your ears to their utmost Unireside in that reporters and they failed even t; ts to hear what the stage folk were headquarters. They part of the brain designated as the in their diurnal chrcnito lude it the then realize that and gumsaying s ente: fold of Broca. iFrom headquarters s something that ' chewing demon next to you would be ecause Mrg8, they transmit to us our mental imtreet e whole state should know about we there all the evening to tantalize you? our personality. and ill break it to the public as gently as What were yojir thoughts? Did you pressions Death is simply the departure of the )Bsible. not see red, and debate whether you entities from our body. ' Thou Senator Southwick chews gum. ought to choke him to death or gouge But what becomes of the Qas 1 The solon who would suppress the out his eyes with your umbrella? And .ties when they depart? Do they re- Tensive cigarette masticates the mad- - what did ygU do? main together as an ensemble or do Some say he chews a 3nn nervous a After making yourself ghter they also break up and go about the was While he cud. exchanging Qf Bo:611 wreck you decided that your neighbor universe seeking new tasks as indiviJo-iwith and Harry wras repartee Sanarsiflage was within his rights and that it duals and not as a collective body? totljph at the public hearing on his none of your busness. At all events, Being a materialist Mr. Edison does diDIacco bill the other day he "was you deeded to surrender. And now MOS: not resort to a medium and ask the .lamping loudly on a wad of gum. know that Senator Souththat you event spirits themselves to answer the queschicle from his wick chews gum you can see how helpd. T: As. he shifted the tion. Not for him the highly spiritualhon(ift to his right molars he looked less you are. one knock means ized system of at Harry Joseph who was yes and two knocks means no. lying Edison Talking Machines Nothing so absurd! He resorts with If I am in a barber shop waiting great solemnity to the valve machine. The Spirits therir a shave I have a right to smoke It must be a delicate valve machine, Spr: Man knows many things, but he But gaid senator Southwick le Si of course. It will not be composed of I may want does not know what he is himself. chaw chawchaw, haw, er reeking tube and iron shard. It will Our wisest men, therefore, allow was o shave in that barber shop and you be something that such a gossomer 1 Utivould be doing something very offen-themselves the luxury of being silly can use by individual as a tri;ive to me chaw, chaw, chew, about the human soul. on the e n Take Mr. Edison, for example. In just stepping hew, chaw, chaw. Mr. Edison is a grave and reverend f future ages our descendants In that case, said Harry, you terti but he is treading close to the will regard him with the admiration senior, . should go to another barber shop or r lie ridiculous when he solemnly says: in us when we meditate stirs that yourself. ipliEjhave. If this apparatus falls to reveal scientific guesses of Friar the upon Senator but could heard be Naught anything of exceptional value, I uni wonsuch achieved He Bacon. has Southwick chugging about in chickle. afraid I have lost all faith in the surGirl: ders in mechanics and electricity that, know it in vival of personality as in his old age, he desires to construct 'sday;y, and it is very offensive to me, but this existence. tie t: will prove the imwhich a machine of none is business my a b;it Not many of us will lose any faith mortality of the soul a sort of psycho we: Evidently Harry relies on logic and or sleep because of psycho-meter- s meter. has a fondness for the jewel of conThe inventor has a wonderful maHaving devoted his life to the creasistency. Perhaps he thought Senator terialistic confidence in machinery, inedgouthwick "would blush or quail or tion of new forms out of matter the r Z.1'swallow his inventor is naturally inclined to be a but few of us can share it. If he gum in sudden confu-lariwould find a skeptic let him ask the Besides, if he wants to chew materialist. He doubts immortality, thesion. mabut he has fondness for the idea and man who constructed the greatest gum, it is his own business. Certainchine since the "world began. Let him would like to prove it true. Because ly it isnt Harry Josephs business. the only way he ever tested the truth ask the kaiser what he thinks about enterHarry admits it But if Harry smokes the success of a machine and espenlVa cigarette or a cigar or a pipe in a of anything was by means of a macially the German war machine, which 5tret barber shop it is Senator Southwicks chine he must needs put his faith in materr ra: the machine to discover whether the was the expression of all that admits it. senator The business. in i ialism had accomplished in thousands soul will endure forever. of-is a barber in If shop smoking lssi: First of all, he makes up his mind of years of civilization. fensive to Senator Southwick we ought And how does the inventor prove that the soul is a certain sort of thing. Miss to pass a law or, if necessary, adopt a It is his habit of a life time to make his case? By nothing less than a sore l,or constitutional amendment which will a function. protect the senator from being offend-rt- l divine guesses. No empiricist would thumb. Every organ has ed But H chewing gum in a public be worth anything if he could not A sore thumb heals itself. Therefore, juj,i place is offensive we ought not to pass make guesses as to the nature of sub- - there must be an intelligence in the ,a Bi a law against it. because that would We would infinitesmal entities that constitute stances and functions. s s' offend the senator. have no great inventors if wc had no the thumb and make it well when it is Isnt that clear? ill. First he postulates the. Mr. Edison b. Of course, there will be those who great guessers. Therefore, hi and then, without proof, he enguesses about the soul and proceeds will say that gum is not as immoral dows them with an intelligence which as a whiff of tobacco in a barber shop to construct a machine which he fan on aiWeVdesire to i - life-ent- i- cce- - n For is to survive after death, if anything survives. s Let us suppose that the exist and yet will not or can not use the Edison spirit-recorIf they are so unsympathetic as not to talk into the machine, Mr. Edison will fiatly declare that the soul does not exist, that life-entitie- d. there is no survival of personality after death. And what if they cannot use the machine? Has it occurred to Mr. Edeson that the surviv- ing death might be a purely being, or as the philosophers sometimes put it an unextended subHe assumes that stance, a spirit the soul, like the body, is made up of matter. According to his view the soul is only an assemblage of small intellife-entit- y non-materi- al ligences forming one big intelligence. Mr. Edisons faith in the fold of Broca is entertaining. The fold of Broca, the biologists tell us, is a small convolution on the left side and under the front portion of the brain. They agree that it is the Tesident place of the faculty of speaking and finally functions, by transmitted impulses, by means of the vocal organs. How comes it that Mr. Edison found a per- sonality there? If garrulousness were a test. Bryan would be immortal and Colonel House would have no more soul than a n life-entit- y self-starte- r. far-of- - w-- e This thrashing Im going to give you will hurt me more than it will you, Johnny. Youthful Offender Well, dont be Father I aint too rough on yourself, pop. worth it. American Legion Weekly. rliiniSmSiSiSiSiSiSmSmimmSiSnSSSmiH e i. I m life-entiti- rt es " Housewives know they can de- pend on this butter every day Inthe year. It suits the most extaste; its superior flavor acting never fails. Always pure be- cause pasteurized. Mutual Creamery Co. 7imBimiiiiiiaiiifiiiiiMfMiiiiiiiioianiiiaii ZZ x ZZ ZZ 1 |