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Show THE CITIZEN 8 -- m llllllllllllMllllllliilllllllllllillllllllillllllllllllllllllll!llllllllilllllillllilllii:llilllllllllllllilllllilliilllhlllllllllllllilllllllllllllllCIII A Visitor for Christmas r j By F. Morton Howard Mrs. Peter Madison, with something of real artistry, declaimed the closing portion of her harrangue in a tone which was shrill enough to suggest imminent hysteria, and yet was not suf- ficiently penetrating to attract the curiosity of the neighbors. The final phrases of her peroration were a triumph of voice production, calculated to set any husband immediately hunting for smelling salts and excuses. . Peter Madison, however, maintained a stoic inaction of limb and tongue, and so at last provoked his spouse to the anti-clima- x of a stormy: What can ycu say for yourself after that, Id like to know. But Peter merely emitted a solitary bark of sardonic laughter and stared pointedly at the seasonable legend with which his wife had decorated the wall but two minutes ago. Yes, and I wonder you're not ashamed to look it in the face! she observed, readily accepting the challenge. Fancy you even thinking about Peace on earth with your selfish, annoying, contrary ways! Who could possibly have good will for five minutes together toward an irritating man like you? Oh, Id like to to shake you! Shake away! invited Peter, gazing not without a certain disdainful fondness at his wifes small stature. Thats right! she cried. Make fun of me! Hold me up to ridicule! Just because I dont happen to be a great, ! big, hulking man like you Shouldnt have married you then, he remarked imperturbably. Oh, you neednt try to start coaxing and wheedling me now! "Im not, he denied. "Well then, you ought to! she retorted. The least you can do after upsetting me like this is to try and make amends. You you dont know how upset I am. Youve quite upset me for the rest of the day. What Uncle Joseph will say when he sees me all redeyed and upset I dont know! I'm sure if Uncle Joseph Peter restively accorded Uncle Jo- seph full permission to depart straightway to a destination where fur coats and mufflers are simply not worn. Peter further stated, quite distinctly, that he was sick of Uncle Joseph. A nice way to speak of your relations before wifes youve even seen them! she declared bitterly. If Uncle Joseph Peter groaned. she repeated defiantly. If Uncle Joseph Peter obliged with an unsolicited encore of his groan. Very well. I wont mention him again! said Mrs. Madison. Not another word do I say about him! All the same, if Uncle Joseph were to Peter rose and walked into that architectural creation which house agents call a "hall. inNow where are you going? quired his wife, swiftly following him. Why, to shut the front door from the other side, answered Peter, reaching for his hat. Youre not really going out? Well, maybe itll turn out to be .only answered a kind of Peter with a sweet smile. Til pinch my arm when Im a few blocks away and see whether Im properly awake or Yes, Uncle Joseph! auto-suggestio- n, not. Youre going out? Out? When were expecting Uncle Joseph at "Yes, Im going out, he stated. Dont you remember I told you just now? That is what, so to speak, started the music. afternoon before Christmas? she demanded increduAnd us expecting Uncle Jolously. seph at any moment. Peter Madison, are you in your proper senses? Going out the Hes never come to see us before; he didnt even come to our wedding. No, he stuck in Maclesfield in the grim, quiet way a limpet sticks to its native rock. In the three years of our married life weve heard from him once, and that was on a postcard, when he very decently, if curtly, refused your invitation to come and stop wtih us for a few days last summer. But hes coming now and Yes, hes coming now, and thats simply because hes got to come to town on business and well be cheaper than a hotel. Well, the more he saves, she began. The more some Society for the Suppression of Happy Times will benefit, he interrupted. "At any rate. Im not going to play to the old fellow for the reversion of a stack of coppers hes amassed by depriving himself of a good time. Oh, Ive no patience with you! Dont you realize how greatly it would be to our advantage to be friendly with him? Suppose he left us all his money some day? Suppose he were to take a fancy to us and make us a present of $500 for Christmas? Cant you see what a big difference it would make to us? Why, youre always complaining that you havent enough money! Youre in debt at this moment! What about that money you owe Joe Trueman? I wonder you can sleep at night for thinking of it! wonder he can, any way, adMust mitted Peter quite cheerfully. prey on his mind a good bit, I should think. Hes sent up enough times for the money! Plucky old optimist, he is, I should think. I Yes, and when you get a passible chance to settle with him, you go and Effie Madison, nee Furberry, to the best of my knowledge and belief I am in my proper senses. You can have it in writing at a slight extra charge, if fritter it away. And Truemans getting most impatient, too. A nice thing it would be if he sent the sheriff or something like that. Suppose he did it this Ive been married to you three years now and I havent yet met your Uncle Joseph, so it cant make such a great deal of difference if were strangers for an hour or two longer, can it? Youve got no more tact than than very afternoon! And with Uncle Joseph here, too! That wrould be a Merry Christmas, wouldnt it? Might get up a four at bridge, Tell you murmured Peter hopefully. what. Ill just drop in at Truemans as I pass and ask him if hes going to put a deputy sheriff in possession here over Christmas to pick out one thats got a fair knowledge of the game. There! Now dont say Im not doing my best to help entertain your uncle! you like. an I dont-know-wha- t! Heres my Uncle Joseph coming to stop with us for Christmas, and youre like an an I dont know-what- ! behaving Look here, old girl; dont lets have I told it all over again, he urged. you just now that I absolutely refuse to make a fuss over your uncle.. I know he's got quarts of money. I know we're his nearest relatives. I know lies got to die one day. All those good qualities leave me absolutely unmoved. He smiled at her, put on his hat and went out. Mrs. Madison went back into the little drawing room and began to dispose sprigs of holly about he room. She was just in the right mood to handle holly. Was there ever such an unambi tious, unenterprising husband as Peter before? she exclaimed angrily. Really, it would only serve him right if he came back and found Uncle Joseph and the sheriff waiting for him! I almost wish An hour later there came a rap at the door, and Mrs. Madison hurried out to open it. Uncle! exclaimed Mrs. Madison, and kissed the short, bewhiskered little gentleman she had found on the doorstep. Well, here I am, said Joseph Pleased to see you again, Effie. Youve got much fatter since I saw you last. He was that kind of a man. Excitedly she took his grip from him. "Porter wanted a quarter to carry that from the station to here, he told her. Must have thought I was made of money. You neednt think theres Christmas presents in it, he warned her. Its mostly law books and papers. I do all my own law business far as I can. Im sure I never gave Christmas Fur-berr- y. . presents a thought! Thats all right, then. You wont be disappointed. Nice little place youve got here, he commended, following her to the fireside. Hope you can afford it, thats all. And now wheres your husband? He hell be here in a minute, uncle. I .should have thought hed have been here to welcome me. When I stopped with your second cousins a year ago they were all on the doorsteps looking out for me alj nine of them. Oh, yes, I know what youre thinking! They wTere playing up to me for my bit of brass? Well, perhaps they were and perhaps they succeeded and perhaps they didnt! Anywray, it showed respect, being on the lookout to welcome me:ft Peter had to go out. To his work, do you my husband Had to go? mean? Oh, no, the office is closed till next week. He he just went out. "Well, I dont call that very polite of him! I must say he creates a bad impression on me,, even before Ive met him. Peter is so so heedless, said Mrs. Madison. "He doesnt seem to take his obligations and responsibilities a bit seriously. In fact, just before you cme 1 was washing Wishing what? Peter needs shaking up, he needs n 3d a " lesson. I was wishing and thinkin Wishing what? asked Uncle J" seph again. Mrs. Madison told him at full lei n 3e Aft gth- - Th |