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Show THE CITIZEN 10 IIMMMWlIMIIMIIIIIIIMIIIMHMMIIIIIIIIIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMIMIMIIIMIIIWMimilNMMIIMMIIIIMWIIHIIMHIIIIMIIIIIWMIIIIMIIWIWMmiMIWIIMMNMIIIIHIHIlimHIIIHIH OBSERVATION PLANE miiiiiiHMHiiiiiiiiiiHiiiiiiHiifliiiitiiimiimiiiiiiuNiHiiiiMimiiiHiiHmiiHiiiwiiiiiiiiniiiiiiHiiimiiiiimiuuymiiiHyiiiiMiuiiiuiiimiiiiiHiiiiiMuiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiHiiiiiii Heres Where We Wash Some Dirty Linen Salt Lakes good citizens have made quite a din over the smoke nuisance and the smoke commission nuisance, but one nuisance they have suffered in silence. What is more deserving of tumult and shouting than the steam laundry nuisance. Over in London they arrested a man because he politely suggested that they ought to hang a few of their statesmen, but over here we let laundrymen live. Whats more, we let them live at our expense. Talk about the tyrants of Athens, they were not to be compared in insolence and cruelty to the soft soap tyrants of Salt Lake. What would we think of the mental equipose of a man who hired a flock of girls to tear up his new shirts? And yet that is practically what all of us are doing. We dont allow the deed to be committed before our eyes, but we send our shirts off to the laundry to have it performed with due ceremony. What would we think of a man who employed a girl to iron dirt into his collars? Yet all of us send our collars to the laundry for that purpose. We accumulate the soil and the girls iron it in and put a varnish over it. And for these outrages we pay two two or three times as much as we paid for decent treatment in the glad days before the laundry magnates began to emulate Captain Kidd. Time was when Lucy, the laundry maid, would return a collar to us as a spotless and shining unit. Now it comes back in sections, each section polka-dotte- d with dirt. If you send a collar with a wing on it the laundry girl chews the wing off when she runs out of gum. And the laundry man he is as bad as a laundry girl. Once he was an humble suppliant for soiled linen. Now he rides around in his limousine to tell you that if you don't stay at home to pay him his money he will throw your laundry in the sewer. You pay your money and he throws your laundry in the sewer, anyway. And then you change laundries. And the second laundry punishes you for quitting No. 1. No. 1 owns the sec- ond laundry and laughs at you sneer-inglWhen you switch to the third laundry you are punished double for quitting the other two. Then you realize that you have been y. bucking the laundry trust. You are treated like dirt the laundry trust seems to have a monopoly on dirt. The other day a friend of ours complained that the laundry had lost one of his socks. And the manager called him up and asked him if he was sure he had had two socks. A lady complained that the laundry had lost her tablecloth. They sent her back a napkin and said the table cloth had shrunk. Another friend demanded the return of an expensive initialed handkerchief and the laundry sent back the initials and Insisted that he had forgot to send the handkerchief. But usually the laundry doesnt send back anything. It says the things you miss never existed, but it charges you for washing them. And if you complain too bitterly you are charged hotel prices for the next batch of laundry. And yet there are telephone poles left. and we have a few lamp-post- s The laundry folk go right on living as if they had a right to. No one, except ye editor, has ever dared to voice a protest, but we dont care what happens to us. They dont leave us a clean shirt to our backs, anyway. What can they do, that they havent already done? We defy them. They have been throwing mud at us long enough. More About Yeggs And Restaurant Men Friends of ours among the restaurant men were deeply pained and shocked at an article we wrote last week. We listed them among bank robbers and other skilled artisans, and you should hear them roar. They declare that when we called them excess profiteers we did them a great wrong. No doubt, they would have been better pleased had we called them public benefactors. They would have smiled at us dazzlingly and punched a few extra holes in our meal ticket. Call a restaurant man an excess profiteer and he hates you though he knows you are telling the truth. Call him a public benefactor and he loves you though he knows you are lying. Naturally our friends the restaurant men thought they were getting away with it. They thought that all the kicks would be confined to the tables or the desk where you pay as you are robbed. But they harbored an editor in their bosoms. And the editor, being only a worm, turned. These restaurant pirates are so accustomed to tips that it never occurred to them that anybody would hand them a lemon. They think that editors should hand them verbal tips. But we editors represent the oppressed public every time in a conflict with the restaurant mens offensive association. Editors are ultimate .consumers. They consume other things they like better, but, as we were saying, they are ultimate consumers and when they are properly riled they wont stand around and let any lowlived well, they wont let restaurant men oppress ultimate consumers. down-trodde- n Therefore, we give the restaurant men due notice that we do not retract anything that we said about them or about the bootleggers or the gamblers or robbers or anybody. Moreover, we can see the day of our Tevenge approaching. Prices are coming down and they will be down so low that an ultimate consumer will be able, to get his Christmas dinner for the money he now employs to lure a piece of lemon pie to a horrible death. Nor do we take back anything we said about grocers and market men generally. The market man who sold us a dozen eggs filled with mustard gas did not fight fair. It was the trick of the terrible Turk to send us all the way home with a basketful of TNT after charging us the regular price and adding thereto the war taxes of the late war and all the other wars back to the time of the whiskey rebellion. Any yegg man who would do that is all we said about him and a good deal more than we can think of in our excitement. And when we are able to think of all that he is we are going to let the public know. You never can get even with a bad egg man. Prices can never come down to the level of a bad egg, for a bad egg is worth nothing. And there are more eggs worth nothing on the market today than ever before and there are more yegg men selling eggs than ever before. You Can Keep Warm By Sassing Conductors The 8:20 a. m. Orem train southbound is crowded every day. Among its patrons are young women who teach in various school districts south of the city. When the mornings began to be cold the passengers observed with pain and surprise that the car began to be cold. The passengers, one by one or in groups, asked the conductor if he had noted the fact. ' This led to warm arguments. Every day thereafter, when the weather was sharp, the passengers worked up a little heat by sassing the conductor. He, poor, honest soul, kept telling his guests that all the heaters were turned on and that the only remedy he could think of was more heaters. Reasonable, of course. The Citizen believes it is only necessary to mention th fact to the company to have the additional heaters installed. j Vicious Dens Allowed To Run Wild Police raids on vicious dens, have! subsided and the town is again wide! open. Not only gambling and bootleg-ging joints, but disorderly houses arel i allowed to run wild. When complaints I Ii are made to the police they take refuge! behind the old camouflage of lack oil evidence. It is the duty of the police I to obtain the evidence. That is why! the department Is supplied with a del tective force and an anti-vic- e squad. I One of the public scandals is a house I across the street from the 0. S. L. pa I senger station. It is said to be frel quented by Pullman porters and other I negroes who are seen going into the I place with young white girls. The at I j i ; tention of the police has ben called tel this den of vice a number of times, hu: no action to suppress it has beet! taken. ; ; SUPERHEATED STEAM. Two decades ago few would havel admitted the possibility of permanent I ly and regularly producing steam ail temperatures from 550 degrees to 63(1 degrees Fahrenheit within the restrict! ed area of the ordinary locomotive! boiler. Now thousands of locomotive! use this superheated steam, and its use! I is Increasing. By heating steam 180 degrees Fahl renheit above the saturation temptfl aure, hot steam is produced. WMl1 this increase of temperature the steal! is dried and the volume is increased! But the increase of volume is less 1& portant than the suppressionof all cofrl portant than the suppressionof all co I heat is sufficiently high." Hot steal! being a bad conductor it also r. due! loss by cooling in the cylinders. I:: increases the hauling capacity from1 1; to 80 per cent, according to ty ?e 1 I structure of the engine. : . . . , PEACE AND WARE. Mrs. Jones Why, surely that's Mr!, Jenks? Why is she going by s speaking? I thought you anl I were such great friends? Mrs. Smith So we were util hubby and hers lost their temper Bj PeaC nearly came to blows at tlic celebration meeting! The iass$ Show. I e |