Show lecren ly cren he coll les the editor s column thins rj that please enne hint f t the ass and the lion s skin tho the pretty boy boj of the advocate remind reminds tho the writer of the fabled ass who thought if he covered himself with a lebn skin ho lie would in truth be a lion nut but the asi aw of fable was betrayed by his bray even as its pretty boy betray betrays himself every time hd he opens his face in last weeks week s issue of the official organ of the dwer rats the pretty boy intimates thai that the editor of the news walked into this city if it that were true it would be no disgrace for many of tho the old and respected settlers walked into utah but it happen happens that the writer rodo into price on tho the cus cushions hiom on a paid ticket oven at a time when most editors riding A on passes further the editor of the news sent more money into price three months prior to his over ever having seen tho the town than pretty boy can rake up today another of the pretty ones onos brays is to the effect that the editor of the news is trying to straddle on tho the wet and dry proposition that is not ilot true while the writer is opposed to lawlessness in all forms and has ha written a number of articles art arti clen in an en endeavor davor to get the city and county authorities to enforce the laws against gaut gambling bling and other un lawful practices jie ie has las at all times been opposed to driving tho the saloons out of price while they ars are allowed to do business in other parts of the county and state so long as booze is 13 sold in tao county it might as well be bold in price under license as to bi br sold hero here by bootleggers if the city officials will not regulate the saloons the news has no hopes that they will prevent the sale of liquor therefore the news newa is not going to try to influence anybody to vote the town ury iry much as it deplore deplores present conditions and the bruffet burro should have waited a few hours before he boasted that the news has lost the lowenstein Lowen advertising the boss must have given hia bis burro au awful ul fidkin kick in the ribs j st before the last issue of the advocate judging by the howl that rent the air A salt lake policeman resigned saturday because bo be bad had inherited by the death of bis his father bet he a stand pat vat republican republic au for they nover never resign several members of the betterment league have asked the news for a list of people who are boycotting the te news explaining that the league could do a little boycotting itself the list is so 10 small at present that the editor talked the ladies out of their intended action secretary of the navy daniels has issued an order that after july I 1 neither officer or enlisted men of the navy may drink alcoholic liquors on ship or in any naval bation sa s tion the railroads exve been following this plan for y years 1 ears and many saloon owners will not employ drinking bartenders ten iera in a short ride about the city sunday the editor of the news counted not leu less than a dozen new now homes either just completed or news does not aklo zo this stand with the expectation of getting any patronage from the saloons sa loone if the people who want the town dry would expend their energies in an effort to buve the faithless city officials removed from office the news believes price could get along very well without a wet and dry election however the people have a B right to volt voto ab they please and the writer has signed a petition asking that an election be DO held for unlike the pretty boy the writer believes in majority rule the editor of tho the news has his faulty faulta like all humans but he is not a hypocrite or anybody who has read the news knows this to be a fact he ile may bo be a fool for by publishing what he lie believed best for the community he lie has driven away many a dollar that the pretty boy and those like him would not have allowed to get away when he cm can no longer put the public welfare above his own pocketbook pocket book the writer will publish a paper like the advocate which champions anything that brings in a cent of revenue regardless gard less of decency and honor yes the editor of the news hay has plenty of faults but he ile has n ver been sued has no judgments against him for debts has never been in jail I 1 has never whipped his bis wife has never knowingly defrauded anybody out of a dollar has never knowingly slandered a human being he can go anywhere he has ecer ever lived and get credit ho he can purchase supplies without paying in advance and he always keeps bis word can the pretty boy boy show as clean clean a record drawing near a finish this docs does not look as though either the betterment league or president wilson had entirely ruined the country couple of unattached females ot of uncertain age who much busan ss of their own to worry them are greatly worried these days about some imagined vulgar expression hey claim to hive have read in the news to these poor cramped soula souls the newa news would like to suggest that the evil mind sees evil where none exists unless all signs fail utah will have a political housecleaning th fall that will go a long way toward placing this state in the ranks of the truly progressive and enlightened commonwealths an alliance between the wilson democrats anc and the progressives is for the purpose of putting an end to co horation rule and political graft in utah reservation news if the city dads had been mori mors careful to ascertain the character of applicants for saloon licenses the town would not now buve have to a go through the jim jama jams of a wet and dry election in the past any man MAII who c ld i or write a check for that thit amount could set get a license in price that the wrong principle and the news hopes somo some day we wa will get councilmen who would not jf s grant rant a license to a man they would ot admit to their homes I 1 disinterested opinion the la Ws s of utah provide that the county commissioners of every county ahall shall examine and audit at least every six months the accounts of all officers having the care man fremont bemont collection or disbursement of moneys belonging to the county or appropriated bylaw by law or otherwise for its use or benefit in carrying out this jill law the commissioners cra of carbon county sent an ata expert accountant to examine and audit the books of the high and public school boards whereupon the school officials became very indignant and ie refused to permit the commissioners to examine their books naturally enough this aroused still further public suspicion regarding those books and the are now taking legal steps to force an examination of the book books if the books are all il right why are the officials so touchy about having an examination tho taxpayers tho the right to know how their money is being expended what utah needs is more county commissioners with the honesty and backbone dig displayed played by V carbon board reservation news rhyme and reasons reason j marks old sweet son song just a plot at midnight when the tho lights are low and tho scheming grafters gra ftera wander to and fro while the gue tj arc aro sleeping comos comes a cop aloag and sings before a lady alaska old sweet song marks o old swee eo ec beet song just a simple lady selling childrens books thinking naught of evil knowing raught of 0 cr crooks just an insult offered far par frow manly throng by a marshal singing birks old sweet song al marks arks 0 old swee ee ce act son gi just a little lady who surely might expect that a decent man mould from insult her protect just a girl not knowing that marks arm is long or that city cops sing lN marks larks old sweat song marks o old swede MRS GRUNDY he keif me Spa Sp aetta gelta to the carbon county news my dear mr editor the other day when taking a ramble and musing on the ingrati ingratitude tudd of 0 the human species ape cies I 1 was overjoyed to hear bear a son of italy singing the following lines which appeared to be the chorus of some song dees marka Braf Bra fetta fretta he gif me ine spa getta he g 1 if laroe me do chrese fur for ha hec 11 i I 1 will ron lika boa off on a goa go en do wo teffer he aleeze these beautiful and touching words dear friend contain a solemn lesson which it behoove behooves us to learn and forever remember let you and me try to extract the moral from them and thereby ascertain the whole duty of man in carbon county to his boss mark in the first place the endear inz n term marka vi how noble minded must the man be how brimful of the milk of human kindness how overflowing with love for hia his fellow follow man to co be the subject of sue such au affectionate appellation I 1 note in the second place theall important and comprehensive information he gif me spa getta ah what will not any of us do to be assured of our spa getta for life the term I 1 presume is a classical allusion to the material things of life while whilo garlic and cheeze are merely the frills trills which make life more interesting we can of course do without the frills aid who would not be willing even anxious to forego the pleasures of life for the sake of serving such an intellectual croesus as marka Braf fetta learn in the third place the glory WI of implicit obedience to recognized authority conveyed in those melting words for Fo heem rheem I 1 will a roa lika son off a gon the eon son off a gon is no doubt I 1 merely a poetical reference to complete and unquestioning n loyalty digest in the fourth place the exquisite sentiment displayed in the vorda words en do wo teffer he aleeze mr editor have you ever beai d i any man say he would do whatever I 1 you pleased can you name narno any tiny u pt mon who would forget lis his sense of honor sink his individuality commit perjury give false evidence sell his vote in short stop at nothing you command him to do even though you supplied him lim with spa getta my mend think seriously of these things think of a man with a powerful and unscrupulous company at his back think of the voters of a county lying supinely down and letting this man wipe his feet on them think of the manhood he be has prostrated and the womanhood he be has bas insulted think of all this and then hurry for Hi heavens cavens sake hurry and wake your peace with him before he liscs in his wrath and mites smites you yours for peace and harmony MARKS FRIEND P S I 1 have shown this to mark I 1 and he is tickled to death busybodies are telling around town that two councilmen council mea voted against the building of a new now jau jail which is in a way true but both these councilmen loofbourow and mckinnon voted no on the proposition because they thought that the cost and on which no bids were asked was more than should bc be spent on such a structure and they find many citizens agreeing with them t h e m r Poli political ticul terms defined candidate date A man who loves all the flo people campaign open season for loving same by candidates campaign pledges unsecured cured not given by candidates in ex exchange chango for votes election day expiration date for above pledges the voter A king or queen on ono one day a year and a three spot on the other the platforms Plat forns forra A common carrier used by parties for tran transportation purposes Charr chaffman man A near man who ho can only see chown friends friend sIn in acau a baucm cui caucus A method of handling party business by absent nt primary A school in which a lotof lot of bosses have learned thear cm crit lesson in lit popular government voting the straight ticket throw the tho brain out of gear while marking the ballot reform A universally desired improvement pro provo mont in politics republican A man at a way station yelling elling to the tho train to to come como back for him progressive n ess I 1 ve man ahead of jhc train building track democrat ulan man in the engine wondering how to run the blamed thing socialist man trying to trade trad otho tho train for an acro aeroplane plano jacksonian JacLson Ian Dom democracy C oh rocile run I 1 c stage L of democracy s stinging t rebuke when the other sid side e wins by magnificent endorsement when whon our side wins by personalities Crit irlam of our candidates by opponent flaying him alive discussion of opponent by our candidate signal honor lionor appointment of friend to office got in on the tho plo pie securing of officio by political opponent statesmanship securing of post postoffice lico office building by Con congressman grossman record something that ro quire a more explaining than theology theolog ty the mob Us |