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Show r PAGE 3 THE ZEPHYRMARCH 1993 11 1 11 pavilliona called falafones. Yes ...someday I hope I can go to Funafuti where I can go to fiafias at the falafone. But not yet Actually, I've been trying, as of late, to be a better dtizen, and a more benevolent host to our tourist friends. Grace under pressure...that's what is required here and that is my own personal goal for 1993. But do I really have what it takes to be a Super Host? Do I have that kind of patience? After all those years in the Park Service answering dumb questions and directing tourists to the nearest toilet ("outside and to the left"), could I ever go back to that life? Consider the following incident which I absolutely promise and affirm did happen to me a couple of weeks ago. I was driving down First North on my way to the post office one day to see if I'd received any love letters (it's been years but you never know) when I noticed a woman walking across the street in front of me. She was moving slowly, almost shuffling, as she crossed my lane from the left. She was not inside a crosswalk of any kind and it would have been within my legal rights to run over her, but, what the heck, I figurecL.what's foe rush? I'm in a magnanimous mood. So I braked to let her pass by. The woman, who was perhaps in her 30s, rather stout, and looking very grim, raised her right hand to me like a traffic cop might gesture to an oncoming auto, and stepped slowly by my front bumper. But instead of proceeding to the other side of the street, she came around to the side of my car, reached for foe handle and opened foe passenger door. "Excuse me, " she said, "but my feet are killing me...Could you give me a rider I'd never laid eyes on this woman in my life. "Uh...well, I'm only going as far as the hospital," I explained a little uneasily. The lady was "I already moving things off the passenger seat so she could climb in. have blisters cm my feet and I need a ride to that RV Service Center," she said. "My motarhome is down there." "Oh I see," I replied, and would have offered to drive her there, but by now she was already in the car. She slammed the door and pointed as if to say, "Let's go." I drove down First North, past my original destination and turned left on Main. "So where are you from?" I asked just to make conversation. "Indiana. And I have blisters cm my feet" "Really? I'm originally from Kentucky," I said, trying to find common ground with this visitor to our area ...trying to be a good Super Host. Either she didn't hear me or she hates people from Kentucky, because she didn't say a word. Maybe she was concentrating cm her feeLWe drove cartoon feature starting this month in the Zephyr, featuring Moab's most prominent and women (sort of like that Tor Women Only" hour on KRCL). I'm calling it... "My Favorite Cals." Surely, some of you are thinking, he really has a death wish. Perhaps some of our newer subscribers are thinUng...this is nothing but a male sexist piece of journalistic drivel. Nothing could be further from the truth. Hie Zephyr has always been on foe vanguard of progressive thinking and nothing has changed to alter that I if to all know who women want you perspective. just published the Slinking Dessert Glace' I a few years ago still have a sense of humor. still da well-kno- (so-calle- d) (teeafl CosbsIsxsBs 605513 ISeSiyfliSSG tMlsiaflsa0ifiwn0ian Q Q 9!08ial19! Instructors: Andrea Stoughton & Marilyn Peterson Mon & Thun Regular aerobics Tue & Fri: Step aerobics... cm. pulled up to the front door of the service station and stopped near the door. "My motorhome's in foe back..I can probably walk foe rest of the way. I I smiled sweetly. "I hope I haven't been too much trouble," she I put this to the sensitive ears of this readership? and I roared off, rolling down all foe windows said. She turned to open foe door and. ..how can She broke wind. The woman slammed the door as I went. Somehow, her presence lingered for hours. Later, I thought maybe that was her way of saying thanks. After all, foe Ramans used to burp to show their appreciation of a good meal. Perhaps those Indiana Hoosiers express gratitude in a similar way. In any event, when I could breathe again, I knew that my attitude had improved considerably since this time last year. But why? Why have I rehabilitated myself like this? Is it because there's a Democrat in the White House? Is it because the Bode Cliffs Highway is almost a dead issue? Is it because there may be a baseball season after all? Nope. It's because, after living in this town for all these years, I'm just plain nuts. "At the outset, jy ''Cute aerobics outfit not required. I must admit that the course of action we have chosen is a dangerous one." President John F. Kennedy October 1962 Just to show that the last sentence in the last section has a ring of truth to it, read on.. As most of you know, I came back here to put together a special election issue in January. We interviewed the candidates and transcribed the interviews into 30,000 words, and put 2500 complimentary issues on the newsstands on January 25. It was an arduous task but we all felt pretty good about it Imagine the thrill I received when, a day later, I found a long message on my dreaded answering machine from a local female reader. She called to complain about the preponderance of "talking male heads" as she put it in the advertisements. Not one woman, she complained. Women were beginning to take notice, she said. (Take notice of what, I wondered.) I also wondered what she thought of the interviews, since that was the main purpose of that issue, and she never mentioned them at all. Of course. I've never been too successful drawing women. It is a well documented feet that when I have attempted to caricature the sex, I have brought all kinds of trouble upon myself. I have attempted to explain the feet that I am a cartoonist, not a portrait artist...that it's my job to exaggerate a person's physical characteristics. Still, my renditions of the female gender, when I risked the effort, have not been met with much enthusiastic praise. But now...but now it occurs to me What have I got to lose? Isn't it better to have cartooned and lost (or bludgeoned) than to have never cartooned at all? Isn't it important (to me, if not to you) that I show five courage of my convictions? I am therefore pleased to announce a new once-Fair- er subscribe to THE ZEPHYR P.O. Box 327 Moab Utah 84532 one year (11 issues)....$15 two years (22 issues)...$28 three years (33 issues)..$40 name address renewal new subscription Wf |