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Show l THE PAGE 2 ZEPHYRJANUARY-FEBRUAR- 1993 Y . leave than it is to keep relative quiet, and swat sand flies in January. And it's actually cheaper to it is of else, environmentally preferable for me to my drafty house warm; so on top everything curlews (not to be confused with the marbled godwits). d go south with the But not this year. I have been complaining about the sorry state of affairs in Grand County since 1989. Now we finally get the chance to affect real change, and I'm off sipping cuba libras under a coconut palm? As decadent as I tend to be at times (I have a telephone in my bathroom), I felt more than a little uncomfortable with the idea of casting an absentee ballot and catching long-bille- page two the tropics. So...(I grimaced) the a wave to Jim Stiles This is supposed to be the second annual "Lame Issue" and I couldn't be prouder. Since we've proclaimed it lame at the outset, I suppose if I wanted to, I could stop right here and leave the rest of this page blank. But I lean towards verbosity, whether you like it or not, so I'll probably find the words to fill up page 2, and maybe even page three, even if I have to start reciting from the phone book. However, at the outset, I must say how disappointed I am in the contributing writers. I told all of them about this month's theme, but instead of getting into the spirit of lameness, Fulghum, Davey, Gilmore, Greene, and Campbell have instead turned in stories that are articulate, witty, poignant, informative, even eloquent. Consequently, the only lame aspect of the January issue is this editorial I feel that I am not being taken seriously by my staff. I would have sent their pieces back to them and demand that they knock off some of the polish. But frankly, there simply isn't time for them to reduce the quality of their work. As a result I have no choice but to live with the contributions, and hope that next year, when we produce the third annual Lame Issue, they will give the editor the respect he deserves and submit something that is even lamer than this. One way to fill up a lame editorial is to repeat one's self. So...as I've already pointed out, this the second annual lame issue. And as my associate, Ken Davey has so pointedly observed, the is public response to the first issue was so lame, we felt obligated to try again. It's difficult to establish criteria for a lame issue, because deliberately producing a lame issue is rarely the goal erf any journalistic endeavor. I willingly admit that we have produced more than two lame issues; however, these are the only two where lameness was the goal. It would probably be easier to produce the issue and then proclaim it to be lame, posthumously as it were, but that would be cheating. My friend and new father Terry Knouff suggests that we should call this paper the "Lame Duck" issue. We could devote the next 27 pages to the lives and careers of George Bush, Dan Quayle, Wayne Owens, and Sam Cunningham. This is, after all my last chance to cartoon those good folks. (Rereading the last paragraph, I realize that my reference to "new father" Terry Knouff was - a little ambiguous, sort of like the "hunting crickets in my shorts" comment a couple of months father to set the not record straight, he is in general.) ago. So, my new father, but a new Anyway, regarding the lame ducks., should I? EX) I have to? I'm weary of it all. As a local politician used to say, "I'm tired. I'm hungry, and my guts hurt." Normally, our past election would have been the end of it. The winners could strut their stuff and try to act humble (the key word there is try), and the losers would wander off to lick their wounds and blame their loss on cither (1) the Mormon Voting Block or (2) the I lippie Environmentalists Who Live In Their Post Office Box Voting Block. It's got to be one or the other, right? But as we all know, that wasn't the end of it. The new form of government, in addition to giving this county a rare opportunity to return government to its citizens, has completely wrecked my winter vacation. We will be voting in a primary on January 5, and the winners will square off in the general election on February 9. Normally, the January issue goes to press around Christmas, and immediately following its distribution, I get the hell out of here. I don't like cold, grey weather. I don't like dipping on the ice and landing on my already frozen and brittle butt. Winter in Moab is, for me, a miserable and melancholy time of year, and I'd rather through the whole damn thing. I usually go south where it's warm and where I can drink Chuck and Bonnie's rum punches in peace and fast-forwa- rd "I know no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion." nomas Jefferson THE CANYON COUNTRY ZEPHYR P.O. Box 327 Moab, Utah 84532 (801) 259-77- 73 Jim Stiles, publisher political specialist & features Ken Davey contributing writers Jack Campbell Jane S. Jones Cherie Gilmore TScott Groene historical photos Herb Ringer roving reporter RobertFulghum photo layouts poetry Colleen Wimmer Frank Lemon food editor Willie Hocko copyright 1992 THE CANYON COUNTRY ZEPHYR all rights reserved The Canyon Country Zephyr is a monthly newspaper, published eleven times a year at Moab, Utah. The opinions expressed herein are nbt necessarily those of its vendors, advertisers, or even at times of its publisher . Zephyr will publish a special election edition for the local readership subscribers, this one's just for the voters. It will consist of six interviews, only. Sorry, seats. of from the 5 districts, and with the 4 finalists for the 2 candidates with each pair FREE to the distributed be people of Hopefully, it will go to press around January 26, and will Grand County. Nothing is set in stone yet, but we'll probably send out 2,000 Zephyrs with the Advertiser and put another 1,000 copies out at key locations around town (Dave's Corner Market the Post Office, City Market). ...What's happening here? This is foe lame issue and I'm being informative. I hate it when work ethic oozing through my I fail to digress. Sometimes I can fed my father's Depression-er-a I pores, forcing me to be responsible, and sometimes appreciate it. But this issue requires that I exhibit an irresponsible and cavalier attitude. It DEMANDS it out-of-to- at-lar- ge MM Related to the election, you may notice foe absence of Jane Jones in this issue Well it's foe damnedest thing The way I hear il she showed up at a hospital board meeting one night and got into a major disagreement with Dr. Redd and foe entire Allen Memorial Hospital administrative Btaff. As we all know, Jane gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "a burr under the saddle." Halfway through the gathering our Jane got foe best of the good doctors and administrators. Apparently, she drove their blood pressure right through the ceiling with throbbing veins dearly visible on the temples of all foe board members in attendance, the entire group (Jane excepted) dropped dead on the conference room table. She was subsequently arrested by foe Grand County Sheriffs office and is being held without bail (and against her wishes I might add) at an undisclosed location. Our county jail has been tom down, of course, and efforts to have her incarcerated in foe San Juan County facility were met with great resistance by the Sheriff down there. "We've heard about this woman," a representative for the San Juan County Sheriff said, "She strike...we just don't need that kind of might try to organize the prisoners or start a us." She's Don't her to publicity. your problem. give ...Hey! I'm making all this stuff up. Actually, Jane has filed as a candidate for the county council from the 3rd District. If s our policy that declared candidates cannot use the Zephyr as a soap box for a political campaign. We already use it as a soap box, but there are limits. We lost Ken Sleight in 1990 when he ran for the state legislature and foe same holds true now. So until March, at least, we'll be without the always exciting never dull rarely predictable observations of Moab's most beloved New Age Western Land User. No kidding Jane S...good luck. sit-do- There were a few errors in foe last Zephyr that I need to correct. If I'd only screwed up in this issue, it wouldn't have mattered. First of all there was this "Editor's disclaimer" at the end of Bette Stanton's rebuttal of Jack Campbell's piece on the movies in Moab. This is how it went into foe paper: may have said that Bettes comments were at times boring, I have never "proclaimed" it to be true. As for Groene, he gets the blame for everything..Jie was gate during November and did contribute to that issue. EDITORS NOTE: While I Obviously, I left a key word out, the word being "not. Scott was not here last month and did not participate in that month's Watchdog. Secondly, Marcy Till's first name is not spelled And finally. I'm sorry I ever threw out a list of possible county council candidates. Although I said at the outset that the list was ridiculously incomplete and just off foe top of my head, I have been hammered by good citizens who want to know why their names didn't roll off the top of my head first. Well, I don't know why. It would be appropriate to give a lame excuse. After all... drove down to my cabin last week; I hadn't been there in over a month. In that short time, all foe leaves had fallen from the oaks, the aspens up on South Peak were bare, and autumn had to 7000 winter. At the seasonal change can be brutally swift. For a variety quickly given way feel of reasons I don't spend as much time there as I used to. If s hard for me to make any attempt to dear out the mice that have taken up residency in my absence. They have become the true occupants, not me. Besides, every time I set traps, foe little guys have learned how to nibble away at the bail without springing the trap itself. I don't know why I keep them when I could just as easily set out a mouse food bowl But despite long absences, the cabin is something of an anchor in my life. I built it more than a decade ago, with hand tools and with no previous carpentry background. And I would have to say that it looks like it was built with hand tods by someone who didn't have a due as to what he was doing I will vouch for its structural integrity, but thafs about it Ten years later, and the place still needs a lot of "finishing work." Yet the cabin has changed little over the years. Artifacts and memories are as thick as the dust that has gathered on them, and it's easy to sit down and reflect on this life, on how far we've come and how far we have to go. Sifting through the journal looking at old pictures on the wall finding trinkets and mementos that I'd set aside and forgotten, ifs difficult to believe that I'm the same person that broke ground on this shack and started driving nails and sawing lumber 10 years ago. A lot of water under the bridge. rough-cu- t As I sat by foe wood stove drinking coffee, my mind played tag with foe present and the past. I started thinking about foe labels we place upon each other and the way we define ourselves. For years, I've been labeled a "radical environmentalist," most often by people who have never talked to me or even know what I look like...and often who won't even by people read this paper, because they say they already know what I think and what I represent. Recently, about 1800 voters in this county (inducting me) were labeled, once again, "environmentatistsobstructionists" by our political opponents. Actually, for years I would have worn the label proudly and tattooed it across my chest for everyone to see. Things are so much simpler, so much more easily defined, at the ripe young age erf 25. Life is simpler without those annoying grey zones. Now, however, it rankled me some, and I wasn't sure why. What had happened to me in a decade that would cause me to react so differently? Had I compromised the values that I held so dearly? Had the years worn smooth the hard and dear edge of my I |