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Show PAGE 22 THE ZEPHYROCTOBER 1992 little people were only allowed perchance, it should have been called a "public listening, as the their own concerns. of to a few minutes at the end of the great listening express any of Health Care is to remove the But we learned much. The way to solve the great problem doctors' responsibility for their mistakes. Instead of malpractice suits for blatant medical screw-upthe little people should just Blank the docs for having tried. We learned that we could afford our current Health Care system at $800 billion a year, but couldn't afford a universal Health Care system like Canada's even though it would cost only half as much??? And the next time that Big Willy Orton rides into town for anoUier of his "public hearings," maybe he could be a little less arrogant, insulting, and condescending to us pom: country bumpkins way down here in southern Utah. s, beyond reality DEAREST PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH by Jack Campbell I s N IRREVERENCE When else do politicians listen to us if not just before an election particularly if they happen to be running again, and are reading the polls and editorials about themselves? Certainly not after the election when they wear the arrogance of their new "mandate from the people. So why not try a few last comments in that narrow window of opportunity before the politicians are bade to budness as usual? BIG WILLY ORTON RIDES INTO TOWN I'd like to give Congressman Orton an award for (me of the more perverted ideas I've heard in a while. Nope, not for his support for the Bookdiffs road boondoggle, not for the insulting "public hearings" he conducted in Moab on Health Care and on Wilderness issues, but for his fantastic idea to provide public funding to train unemployed personnel to be teachers! to about occur last kind of never ed even that the Big Willy Probably just person that we would men and women not want teaching our children would be We're about talking types. who were drafted years bade, and maybe didn't want to be in the military, but about men and women who have chosen that as a preferred career. Men and women who have been trained that violence is the way to solve differences. Men and women who are more comfortable following orders and being told what to do, than they are thinking for themselves. People who are courtmartialed if they question the orders they are given. Just the kind of mental qualities that we DON'T want to encourage in our children if we want them to succeed in developing questioning and innovative minds that might just help to lead this country out of its economic doldrums. I suppose it's asking too much for a Congressman like Mr. Orton to realize that much of our economic weakness today is because of all the money we've dumped down the great black hole of the defense (war) industry. The two nations, Germany and Japan, that were legally prevented from squandering their resources on military boondoggles since World War 11, are now the strongest economies in the world. Sum, it makes good economic (and human) sense to provide funds for retraining human beings in any industry that is shrinking. And it certainly makes sense to shrink the War industries as quickly as possible. But to blunder so badly as to presume that personnel would be the people that we should select and encourage to educate our children, is preposterous! Provide funding for general, technical, or higher education, but don't tie the funding to teacher training. (And make additional funding available to those men and women who DO have the desire, aptitude, and temperment to be teachers.) And ya gotta sort of watch those dty slickers wearing those pointy toe boots trying to look like one of us. Why, at the Wilderness hearing, Big Willy tried to rig the game so that only those who hated Wilderness could make their speeches. Well, after a bit of pretty fancy foot shuffling with those cute little pointy boots of his, he did kind of admit how's he really did want to hear both sides...well, kind of... Then the Big Chiefs way back in Washington sent the Little Chiefs out into the land to talk to all the little people about Health Care. And, fo, it came to pass that Big Willy Orton came again to the small town named Moab and performed a second "public hearing" upon the little people. Some of these little people who had this "public hearing" performed on them, thought Not to worry about all those horrid polls that show you're so far behind the other guys. The polls only measure what people are willing to 'fess up to in public And like your predecessor, Mr. Reagan, you'll be getting a lot of sleazy votes from those erf us, your adoring public, who would be embarassed to even tell a pollster that we intended to vote for you. After all, you've proven to all us "yellow ribbon" folks that you're the man who'll deliver what we want Nope, no more promises of fatter wallets like witii Ronnie; we're not buying that line again. What we want are more victims to be slaughtered for our viewing pleasure. In these waning days of the American Empire, you can make promises about reclaiming American Glory if you want but don't forget to keep letting us know that you will give us the spectacles of violence that we crave those jolly good bloodbaths on foreign sail; nice safe bombing runs on the citizens of Panama and Iraq; tell us more about how much courage it took for YOU and your generals to risk bombing virtually defenseless civilians in Panama and Kuwait and Iraq. Yes, we can trust you to never make us look too dosely at ourselves. Crime and violence exploding in the American cities? We can trust you to spare us the discomfort of examining our own country; we can trust you to focus our attention on those nasty drug lords in Columbia, Venezuela, or it doesn't really matter where else. How dreary and distasteful it would be to have to admit that we are our own worst problem. You promise to do with the economy what you've done with foreign policy? Great good news! Let's see now, if we can just remember what it was you did with foreign policy. Oh yea, it was when your public opinion polls had been slipping so badly, and you were given such a bad job performance rating by us, your employers, that you had your staff look around the world for a place for a good, safe American massacre, and, boy, did you ever deliver the goods! Poor Iraq (with her insane leader) never had a chance! What good, clean fun our boys had over there. But back to the economy, and how you're going to do it, like you did foreign policy. First, you need to find an innocent victim that can't defend itself. Than let's find a way to rip that victim . apart in a great public spectacle. Not only is this an easy order to fill, but you're already doing it We just need to get the media to give you the credit you deserve. Instead of General Schwartzneggerkopf mucking up the Iraqis, we have The Most High Honorable VP Quayle ripping up the environment. Fund raising dinners with endangered species as the entree. Bush and Quayle with their chainsaws cutting down the last old redwood. Bush and Quayle damming the last free flowing river, glorying in man's power to bend nature ' Vf I i to his will. Picture Bush and Quayle wrestling bare handed with those noxious federal rules and regs that try to give our children dean air to breathe and dean water to drink. What a victory far George Bush as our technologically obsolete companies are once again allowed to dump their wastes in our rivers and pump their toxics into our aquifers. Anything to free up that great f r ' American entrepreneurial spirit to bring back the glory of foe good old days. And whatever else we do, let's never listen to those whiny, psuedo- - commies who keep trying to point out that we need to invest more resources in our kids educations if we are to halt our downward economic momentum. ., BOOhfoOGGLE PARKWAY TO VERNAL don't know, it's probably too simple a solution, but I keep picturing us just buying seme lawn mowers, some garden tools, maybe a few snowshovds, and hiring Jimmie Walker, Dave Knutson, Manud Torres, and the rest of the boys to do something useful for the taxpayers of Grand County like mowing our lawns (or for those folks who can afford to have lawns), deaning up our yards, and maybe a little snow shoveling in our driveways in the winter. Good I PACK CREEK RANCH 259-550- 5 miles south of Moab, off the La Sal Loop Rd. Serving 3 entrees nightly 6:30 to 8:30 PM 14 Experience bur comfortable dining atmosphere in the foothills of the La Sal Mountains. ;vv -- A ' Now taking reservations for family & company Christmas Parties. 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