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Show PAGE 38 THE ZEPHYRJUNE 1994 Feedback The readers respond I diose Zeke Bitkerslaffs diatribe as "Letter of the Month" simply because after yean of ranting and raving to the TmesJndependent and this newspaper, he deserves something. Stiles! Hurrah for the Rose Fryer letters! fryer's eloquence and pyrotedmkal sophistication moved me at such a gut level that I find myself once again compelled to insert my pearls of wisdom into the sodden pages of your urine yellow journalism. As master of phynanoe and president of the Chamber of Phynanoev it is my duty to farce you and your ilk to shut up and submit to the New World Order we have installed here in your backyard little community. Stiles, you and the other local riffraff, must bite the phynandal bullet, and quietly and meekly allow us to hammer out our phynandal vision. By New World Order, I mean, of course; the universal triumph of business ethics in all aspects of life. Spiritual ethics, social justice ethics, environmental ethics; all of these are quaint relics we sometimes use in packaging business ethics, but they are essentially a thing of the past, and have no dace in this day and age. Business ethics means two things fra the untidy little village of Moab; maximum exploitation for maximum short term profit, and no limits to growth. Exponential accumulation of profits in our phynance box can indefinitely take place - and will, under our new Master Plan. Moab has a viable resource in the form of its surrounding scenery and we at the Chamber of Phynance intend to control it, promote it, package it and sell it to the greatest possible extent for the greatest maximization erf profit. And no one, not even a rabble rouser like you, Stiles, is going to stand in our way. In the old days, when local Indians got in the way of the implementation erf our phynandal vision, we simply massacred them, or, if we happened to be in a compassionate mood, moved them out of sight out of mind, onto some desolate reservation. The liquidation of obstructionist riffraff having unfortunately been abolished, we find ourselves now reduced to the option of relocation. But not too far away; we need the lower classes around to wait on tourists, and on us, for minimum wage. So, our master plan calls for you, Stiles, and all the other low life riffraff of Moab, to move up to the Cisco Desert near Crescent Junction and live in shoddily constructed, low income, apartment complexes. To keep you distracted and amused, we shall build a giant Wal-Ma- rt next to the apartment complexes where you, and the other ignorant scum, can indulge in endless consumer orgasms. We will then be free to give Moab, and the surrounding scenery, a much needed facelift; where elegance, opulence, and conspicuous affluent splendor, will be the order of the day; where the scenery will be so controlled and carefully manipulated, we can extract profits every time a tourist turns around. Our real estate speculators are already hard at work extracting profits for our phynance box, and at the same time, exponentially inflating property values, so that soon, we will simply be able to tax foe rabble right out of here. Thanks to our knowledge of psychology, we are able to paralyze any sort of political activism that might hinder us. The Chamber of Phynance will soon be able to use the County Council as a glitzy, sophisticated, smooth talking costume, that will gracefully ornament foe implementation of our phynandal vision. rabble that read your repugnant radical So, Stiles, it is up to you, and the environmentalist rag, to realize your essential powerlessness, and silently and smilingly bear the weight of our phynance. That is the only way good community spirit and ndghborly harmony can be created. Thank you. an Sincerely, Zeke Bickers taff Green River, Ut Dear Jim; You say that signs like: Don't Miss the Point Arena Lighthouse and Museum" and "No Trespassing. ..Viola tore Will be Prosecuted", are signs of too many people (The Zephyr 394). Those aren't signs of too many people; those are signs of too mudi privatization: Private enterprisers are buying up wild lands and towns all over the West and repackaging them so we can appreciate them better (Read: pay for them). And communities are being seduced by the promises of more active economies (whose profits often end up out of town), and mare jobs So wildernesses (which are usually not high paying, secure, od are becoming sort of anaemic Disneylands, and towns are looking like business centers instead of places where we'd actually want to live. Does this mean that we're all victims of the developers and entrepreneurs? Not really. In the U5., we grow up with assumptions about what makes life good: that with unfettered free enterprise, business growth, and other economic mischief, we're going to be happy...That our lives will be satisfying...And our communities vibrant full-tim- e, or-G- forbid!-fulfilli- are indeed true, then why is the West still going to hell? Maybe it's because we're working with a system that has failed most of us, and really only serves a few: it's side. It always has been side. The devils we've been blaming are just symptoms of the sickness; like irrational behaviors in a rabid dog. We're always reacting to what we don't want in the West Like we've got to keep some monster at bay. Maybe we should be questioning our old assumptions and get on the road to communities they creating what we do want. Power would then be with residents creating the rather than with developers and entrepreneurs and their visions of the envision daces we live So, by asking: "..how big could we become before we got too big? What is the optimum of: "how big is too population for Moab?" You're assuming population is foe problem. Instead What's it going want? we do really big?", why not: "how little (quality of life) is too little? What to take to create the kind of lives we're here for, anyhow?" If these mug (pro-active-); (re-activ- e). Sincerely, John S. Swift Sacramento, CA Editor read (Le. looked at every page longer than "briefly) 2 issues erf your paper, so I am fairly sure I can make a valid statistically-soun- d judgment The whole thing is pretty good Sc entertaining. You are a good cartoonist much better than L However, your drawings of bicycle HELMETS appear inaccurate, sort stupid, and kind crappy. Go out & look at some helmets, especially those ON peoples heads, Sc I believe you'll improve. I have seen Sc BEFORE & AFTER STUDYING HELMET DESIGN: The cartoonist's conclusion is that the 'sort of stupid' look has nothing to do with the headgear. JS. Mr. Stiles-Regarding file recent flaming you received from foe rocky mountain canary signing herself rose. (May)... Dear rose, You've missed your calling, rvsie, gals like you usually end up running small third world countries, (yes Imelda, and Evita come to mind) and have large collections of shoes. I'm glad you had an early March vacation, rosita, after alt climbing so high above the rest of us must be hard work. We stand in your shadow, rasa. as yours, usually exhibit an over sensitivity. In Small people with such light of this, I would like to encourage foe little peojrfe in Moab to point their fingers at you when you drive or walk through town. After alt such arrogance must be rewarded. Oh, and thanks for sparing us your net worth, raz, I'm sure it's impressive. I must question the "champion of foe working dass" stance you've taken rosalie, as I'm sure the maids at your motet you don't over-pa-y rose I'm Yes, ame, among those guilty of snickering at you, as you waltzed through the streets of Santa Fe, with your overly large turquoise jewelry, food in handmade boots by Fernando of Seville, and that magnificent canned tan. Ah yes... just a little desert rose. Please, mrs fryer, spare us any more tomes in the Zephyr, we get the picture; your weight has been thrown around. Gosh, Mr. Stiles, thanks, I fed much better. Look out for thorns! ng). B.T. Raven Denver Editor's note: Hold on there Mr. Raven (is that is your real name). You don't understand Ms. Fryer like I do. And remember, a rose by any other name is just as sweet. STOP BY AT POISON SPBER BIKESi 49T ML MAIN 259-172- 2 DAILY SUNSET TRIPS With Cookout: Tucsday-Frid- ay INSTRUCTION NoviecBcgbrnr CUnta June 1 1 Intermediate Whitewater: June & 25 I8& 19 |