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Show THE ZEPHYR AUGUST 1995 PAGE 16 became aware of these little improprieties. Since they were second nature, I wouldn't imagine a great deal of time was spent monitoring their consistency. Which brings us to the point in time when I began to notice...something had It was at that point when I changed, people were reacting to me differently. altered been which, intum, resulted began to isolate things that seemed to have in a noticeable change in my personality. I wras even subjected to comments by individuals that laid claim to noticing 1 methodically began a thorough evaluation of the situation. my transformation. I concluded the phenomena was the result of the events that had systematically drained key elements of my personage over the past nine months. Not to attempt to snag an available shoulder but, things like extended medical treatment for one's son and being dumped by one's spouse. Common in cases of depression which coincidentally was something that was becoming increasingly more noticeable in other members of the community. Rationality delivered me to the conclusion that one of two explanations were viable. The certainty of my own diagnosis was beyond reproach which meant either my own condition in some way gave me the impression others were suffering from the same disorder or as a result of my chemical balance prior to being stricken with this terrible plague, I never noticed what the insurance people condition in the other affected individuals. would describe as a Despite the fact that the rate of affected or seemingly affected individuals was growing at an alarming rate, I was still able to pacify myself with my original contention. How'ever, when the numbers rose to epidemic proportions, I began questioning those that I noticed the symptoms in. My worst suspicions have been confirmed. It is with great sadness I report to you, Moab is in the midst of the most catastrophic epidemic that could possibly infect a community dependant on tourism. That's right, a human wasteland of CHRONIC DEPRESSION! (I told you it would take awhile) pre-existi- ng Non residents say, "what the hell do you jerks got to be about?" Residents depressed say, "I ain't depressed. I'm happy!" Consider if you will the inhabitants of our little oasis. Ya got your ENVIRONMENTALISTS: They arc witnessing a once pristine area they once had to themselves being overrun with neon and the masses. Then consider your CAPITALISTS: Their once fertile vein is being strip mined by Corporate America leaving their antiquated procedures in the dust. LONG TIME LOCALS: Suffering from the burden of elevated taxes and living expenses necessitating their flight or that of long time friends and neighbors. Not to mention the poor schmuck that didn't have a lot of money but, just wanted to live here! So now what? DARK MEAT Concerned? You Bet! Solution. Unknown. It's always a difficult choice to become aware of something that, if shared, could be met with an initial reaction of such negative proportions that any good that might come from sharing the knowledge most certainly would be lost in the hysteria. Which equates to having to make a choice between the lessor of two evils. I've always been an "on the table kind of guy" so, "May Cod Help Us All"! (please, remain calm. I'm sure it will take some time for me to get to the point) For the most part, my life has been a controlled stumble. The combination of fortunate landings and a presence 1 seem to project creates an illusion, leaving many with the impression that I'm traveling along a charted course. To further cloud one's perception, I have also been cursed with a form of silliness that bombards those in my presence with a multitude of constantly changing impressions that include the likes of; Happy, Crazy, Carefree, Sneozy & Doc. Over the course of my forty-thre- e years I can only speculate as to when I Clogging, who was the greatest dogger that ever lived? Is it best to clog on an empty or full stomach? I think more importantly, what the hell is clogging? For some reason wooden shoes come to mind. Dictionary, ah, oh, 1. to hinder; 2. fill to with obstructions or with thick, sticky matter; impede stop up; jam; 3. to clog dance. Monty, I think I'm going to have to go with door number three. Let s face it...dance in general. Personally, I don't dance. Well, 1 have danced but, it just docsn t work out for me. From what little I understand of the whole process, I m lacking rhythm. had a dearest friend who passed away a few years ago, a black gentleman, Charles Fermino (love ya Charlie wherever the hell ya are). After witnessing me out on the dance floor on one occasion, he came up to me laughing and said, I was watching you out there, man; you're the whitest guy I know." What the hell ya think he meant by that? Well, it s gettin around that time. I just can't find the words to explain what a marvelous experience it's been for me doing my little ditty this month. I leave you now with a little something from "COWBOY CURMUDGEON" by Wallace McCrae. 1 Take care kids! MMkCi:eklDriw259?6 99 9 WHAT COULD I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE WORLD'S GREATEST CANDY BAR. CUP .0, O' COLD. BE BETTER THAN PURE CHOCOLATE AND A MARSHMALLOW CREME CENTER7 TO EAT THIS LITTLE MORSEL WHILE FLOATING DOWN THE COLORADO RIVER...THAVS LIVIN'. |