OCR Text |
Show AST OUR WIT AND HUMOR' CERTAINLY DESERVED THE OHEOK. The Lleht That Failed. They sat oa the couch. He gazed on d Man. Tho Oh, heres to tho man with a hand like a ham. And a fist Just as big as his heart: To the big. manly chap, be he banker or drudge. Owning railroads or driving a cart: To the man who looks steadily straight In your eyes And gives you a grip like a vise Such men as decided long since, once for all. That theyd rather be men than be mice. He may have skull like the crust of the earth. And a Jaw like the Terrible Turk: His hands may have spread on the helve of a pick. Or at some other menial work; But his heart you'll find good as a nugget of gold And 'twill always be faithful to you Then heres to the man with a hand like a ham And a soul that is loyal and true. Blf-Tbu- u out!" Bla DABOtll. It was with silent alarm that young William Baker, the most bashful boy of his class, noted the steady progress of an internal pang. It became so acute finally that he could maintain his composure no longer and he cried Jl the Place to Lin In. "Gracious! You dont means to say you are going to move out to Bog-villIndeed, I am. I consider It an ideal place. "Huh! You ought to read the paTheres more sickness there than pers. down came teacher school The gentle town In this vicinity." in any dais placand, from her chair upon the I know It. Im a physician." the upon boys hand her kindly ing head, asked him what was the matter. Tbn Bauon. William only sobbed. He dare not designate his trouble by the rude term under which It was known to schoolboys. His better Instincts told him that such language was not suited to the ears of a lady. outright ' He may not be versed In the diningrooms ways. He may never have donned a dress suit. But he will stand fast while youre true to your trust; Your honor hell never dispute. For hes Just the friend that will fight to the end. Till theres no further use to resist God bless him, this man with the band like a ham. And a heart just as big as his fist. -- S. W. Gill llan In Los Angeles Herald. But after hearing much tender sympathy and hesitating profoundly, he managed to hit upon what seemed to him to be a polite phrase of diagnosis. And so he raised his tearful eyes and isald: "Please, maam, Ive got a pain In my abandon. A Drondfnl Imputation. Yes, maam, a strickly moril J par-- 1 .rot, maam. This is the werry bird for you, maam. Wise A college education pays Hes carefully brought up, is he, the end. dealer? Wrong How so? Hes a "Werry carefully, maam. Wise Well,' Iny son has signed to reglar innercent, he is. But you must pitch for $2,000 next season. be werry watchful, maam. "Watchful of what? His Bonlfal Eye. "Of the kind o language you uses What soulful eyes you have! she before the bird, maam. They do pick said to the Innocent youth. up cuss words so easy! Have I? he smilingly asked. "Yes, she murmured in her gushPerhaps He Wes Rliti , ing way. "Especially the left one. I Actor (to editor) See here! In this could look Into its liquid depths for Article you say that I am about to hours. I when on a start starving tour, I might leave It with you over Sundistinctly told your reporter that It day, said the youth. "Its glass. was to be "starring tour. Editor Well, you see, he was an Before and After Taking. actor himself before he went Into this The maiden snorted business, and naturally he knows how scornfully. works. It really "What? Marry you? she cried. "Huh! What do you take me for? Ho Freehearted. "For better or worse, he promptly "I seen the devil once, said Brother replied. Dickey. So they were married and lived un"And how did he look? some one ever after, for, alas! she was happily asked. worse than he took her for. Oh, he looked purty much lak white man In leckshun times, only he The Baals of Prosperity. peared ter be a good deal mo freeWhen the farmer is prosperous, hearted! everybody is prosperous," said the man who indulges in dogmatic utterances. Tils Great Fear. "Thats right, answered Farmer . are Kind Lady What you crying Corntossel. "When the farmers have little boy? about, ' Little Boy My little bruther has th money, the gold brick operators, and proprietors, and lightning-ro- d measles an cant go to school." people, and everybody begins to Kind Lady Ah, I see you . are look for good times. afraid youll catch em? Little Boy No, Im afraid 1 wont i fiery-temper- Mining for Soap. Natural soap mines are tbe latest Consul-Gener- al discovery in the northwest John Bittinger at Montreal writes to the state department that several soda lakes have been found in the foothills near Ashcroft, British Their bottoms and shores Columbia. are lncrusted with a natural washing compound containing borax and soda. Tests prove the substance to be equal to the washing powders in common use. Trial by blacksmiths and farm hands shows that it will remove grease and dirt quicker than soap. A syndicate o'f British Columbia men has been formed to put the product on the market. About 275 tons of the material have been cut and taken from the lake. It is handled precisely as ice is handled. The blocks are more than nine Inches in thickness, are sawn into pieces of fifteen by eighteen inches and weigh fifty pounds each. It is estimated that this lake alone contains 20,000 tons, Indicating that the industry, if successful, will reach large proportions. An EoormoQi Task. One of the largest tusks ever found in Africa was recently brought into Zanzibar, and since then has been shipped to London, where in due ; side-sho- w i Her Suspicion. Is your husband suffering the toothache? answered the woman, with he says hes sufexpression, But from the way he keeps Well, a tired fering. bragging about it I'm half suspicious that he's kind of enjoying It. ! A Domestic Mystery. Mr. Blnks Something queer about He has never once menBiffkins. tioned his wife. Mrs. Blnks Perhaps he isnt mar- ried. Mr. Blnks Oh, yes, he is. He wears out three pairs of shoes a month trying to save car fare. New York Weekly. Satisfaction In It. Her Taste In Music. "You know, my dear, said her A young lady has just finished playfriend, wealth does not mean happl- ing a selection from Faust. ness. Old Lady How nice! I always did was said who the Well," young lady considering a possible proposal, It like Home, Sweet Home! Young Lady (with a start) means carte blanche with ones milli- Home, Sweet Home! ner and ones dressmaker! Old Lady Yes. Minnie plays 1L can always tell it when she crosses her Ft' fiat Affection. Casey-Fift- y dollars O'Brien splnt hands. mother-in-laout av to his git tryin No Word Mlislog. purgatory. Dear me! exclaimed Mrs. Dropln, Daly Fifty dollars? Casey Th same! He slz he wants as she heard Mr. Sputter swearing in What dreadful Ian to git her out before he goes in, it it the next room. guage! kin be done! Puck. I hope you wont mind It, replied Mrs. Sputter; "my husband Is merelj Not th. QoMtlon. an Imitation of a missing-wor- d I can get along without you, said giving contest without any words missing.1 the employer, curtly, to the clerk whom he had discharged. Too Late. That Is not the question, sir, reThe waiter pushed the finger bowl The question plied the clerk, tartly. Is whether I can get along - without toward Uncle Cyrus, who was dining at the Waldorf-Astoriyou. said Uncle Cyrus, No, thankee, with some heat. "Yew didnt bring Whit Grieved Job. thet when I fust sat down an its too "Job had a great deal of patience, late now. explained the S. S. teacher. "Yes," broke In little Bobble, "but he wudnt of cared for that If he hadnt Easy Choice. "Which do you prefer, asked the of had so menny boils. friend, classical music or classical plays? Tbe Difference Classical music, every time, answered Mr. Cumrox. "Inere is always noise enough In that to keep you awake. w a. PhUoareatlcaUy Speaking. Little Elmer (who has an inquiring mand) Papa, where do these pessimists that we are always reading about, live? - Prof. Broadhead On an island of egotism. In the midst of a sea of woe. HI Programme, Yes; she is to marry Mr. I love to dress likes. I love to dress like my husband. Same Old Complaint Money-hunte- r. Rather sudden. Isnt It? Why, I suppose hes willing to marry In haste and spend her money at leisure. Puck. Reward Seeker. Some people, said Uncle Eben, "is so dreful business-lik- e dat while dey looks foh a reward in. de nex "I just saw a man going out, doc- worl deye mighty skeery foh fear tor; has he any new complaint? dey'll do any mo dan what's necessame old complaint, said the No, sary to earn it man of pills; "bills too large. Yonkers Statesman. Off Bit High Hors Merchant So youre looking for Disinfectant on tha Side Bluffenheim is giving away a of presents with that new cigar a position? Young College Graduate No. Ive wasted so much time looking for a is just putting ?n the market." "position that Ill be satisfied to tak "One of them ought to be a can of a Job. disinfectant 5 , . In the Campaign. "T believe, said the candidate, "that the state wants me. Perhaps, replied his friend. "But the voters may refuse to honor a Th Mean Man! Mrs. Scrapplngton If somebody should threaten to abduct me and hold me for ransom, what would you dof ' Mr. Scrapplngton Laugh like Banker Lingars Fro vast Catches Philadelphia Broker In Hi Own Trap. The University of Pennsylvania has not a large endowment, and that it finds the means to pay its current expenses and put up new buildings is due in great measure to its provost, Charles C. Harrison. His little black subscription book is well known in office too veil many a down-tow- n known, a prominent broker told him not long ago. Mr. Harrison was pleading persistently with him for a subscription, but in vain. Finally the broker said: See here, Mr. Harrison, I will give you something on one condition. said the Very well, Mr. T ' provost, name it. "The condition is that you promise never come into my office again until I ask you to do so. to , I agree "Certainly, Mr. T that," said the provost promptly, and walked out smiling with a check for College her with love beaming from his eyes, while her orbs flashed back an effulLATEST EFFORTS OF THE gence that rivaled the electric llght-Yo- u OF THE DAY. he breathed. are you are rather at a loss for words of affection, That a College Education Pajl "you are the ligni of my life. jrofHuabful She gave him a look of alarm, and the Location Boy Exptalo then of Ierrot Owner Pern whispered softly in his ear: f Inward Take care my father does not put you CenUona the Old Lody. it will be made into billiard balls and fancy toilet articles. This superb tusk weighed more than 200 pounds. It took four natives to support its weight while it was being photographed. course Big Tree In Iowa. All of the big trees in the country are not in California. One of pretty good size was grown on the Bigelow ranch near Salix, Iowa, at the southeast end of Browns or Horseshoe lake. Tbe tree was sold to the school district near by by A. F. Bigelow, and it furnished enough fuel to do the school all winter, and there is more than enough of it to do it another season. The monster tree was five feet and five Inches in diameter at the butt, and, notwithstanding it had a large hollow space in the heart of it, it has yielded thirty cords of wood, valued at $51. It is not all reduced as yet This is thought to have been the largest tree in Woodbury county and perhaps one of the largest in this part of the country. It has attracted a great deal of attention in past years, especially among hunters ana fishermen who have visited the lake nearly to enjoy their sport. A Rim That Disappear. the borderland between the Rocky Mountains and tbe great plains of America a number Of streams behave In a remarkable manner. The water runs for a time over sandy bottom and then disappears. It is believed that It continues to now, very slowly, of course, some distance below the surface. A unique Instance Is now reported from Utah by the United States Geological Survey. There is a creek which rises in the Uinta mountains, and which in the summer time loses itself in a rocky opening, or sink, fourteen miles from its head. Mr. Prall, one of the hydrographers of the survey, says that on almost all sides the walls rise from the surface of this pool about seventy-fiv- e feet or one hundred feet The water has a slow, circular motion, such as might be produced by inflow at less than a right angle or by suction from below. Measurement above the pool shows that the amount of water in the stream is ninety-si- x gallons per second. Tbe only apparent outlet is a narrow channel, through which very little water passes, and even this entirely disappears after a few hundred yards. About seven miles away a number of springs have been discovered. One of them comes up In a hole twenty feet deep and twenty-fiv- e feet across. The opinion is expressed by the geological survey experts that the water which disappears in the upper pool flows underground deep below in the gravels which form the bed of the stream, and in times of rainfall heavier than usual appears again in part In the large springs be- In low. rose. It was planted from a cutting in November, 1876, and has been trained over a large arbor. Its malar stem, immediately above the ground, measures two feet nine Inches In circumference. Two branches start from it, and each is two feet one inch-bacand pruned heavily each year, and last year over a wagon load of, prunlpgs was taken from it. For several years the boys and girls of Vsn-tur- a have counted the number of blossoms every March and ApriL For five years they have averaged over 14,000, and last April they numbered 21,640. Botanists say they can discover no sign of degeneracy due to old age or rare fecundity in the wonderful plant Would Stand by tha Role, This tale was told by Judge Penny-packin beginning a response to a er toast at a me? The reply came short and sharp: Hang you. Veil, he said, meekly, vatever is de rule. His reply threw the confederates into a roar of laughter and saved his life. King Oak. A Wonderful Clock. To the list of remarkable clocks in the world, that just completed by a Bohemian in Chicago, who has been at work on it for nineteen years, will have to be added. It is more than eighteen feet high, and is fifteen feet square at the base. A miniature earth circles arcund the dial, and turns on its axis every twenty-fou- r hours, while the sun, moon, Venus, Mars, Saturn and other planets are represented in their proper places. When the clock strikes a door opens, and a procession of all the presidents of the United States issues, followed by figures which symbolize its growth. ttt A month or so later the broker heard a knock at his door. "Come in, he called, and in walked Mr. Harrison. He had his black book under his arm. "Good morning, Mr. T , he said; I want you to help me with a little university matter I am Look here, Mr. Harrison, the broker continued, when I gave that last thousand dollars wasnt it on the express condition that you wouldn't come into my office again until I Invited you? Why, yes, returned the provost, 1 believe that was the understanding. But didnt you say 'Come In Just now , when I knocked? They say the check this time was five thousand. for Philadelphia Times. PAY. How OoO Boy Declined to Blow Glass and Make a Botftia d, Thinking to please the visitors who come to look round his works, a certain glass manufacturer allows them all to try their skill at bottle-makinan experiment which the majority of them are very eager to undertake. It Is only necessary to blow through a specially prepared pipe, and & bottle or glass in its smooth state can be produced by a mere child. Some hundreds of school board boys were in the works the other day, and only one youngster refused to put his He stood mouth to the blow-pipthere with his hands in his pockets, watching the others with a comical air of contempt. Its a rare fine dodge, he remarked to his bosom companion, as they left the works together, but the old rascal didnt take me in by It. Why didnt you have a go at the pipe? queried the other, is astonishment. I wasnt such a fool, was the scornful rejoinder. "Dont you see his little game? You chaps have been cracking your cheeks and wasting your breath all the afternoon, and youve blown as many bottles as a man can turn out in a week. Talk about saving labor! Why, he'll make his fortune in a year If he goes, on like this. g, s . the-etg- . 0. e. to-da- y, -- well-know- son-iH-l- ntracted. Of course, you have not talk much about this for the sake of tbe bank. I have not mentioned it ev to my wife. So you see we can stlS avoid publicity." Without a word to Faldis, Lingsi walked slowly out to the hall. Thi policemen went away. He returned It the library. Ethyl had recovered. "Oh, papa, you will forgive us, wont ' you? she sobbed. What else can I do, my child? II said, taking her in his armB. And Faldis stepped up. to take outstretched hand of his relent!!? rs Velocity of Rifle Ballet. It appears that the greatest velocity of a rifle ball is not at the muzzle, but some distance in front An average of ten shots with the German infantry rifle has shown a muzzle velocity of 2,063 feet per second, With a maximum velocity of 2,132 feet pet second of ten feet from the muzzle. In Twenty-O- n Pitched Battle. Capt Samuel C. Wright, inspector of customs at Boston, was in twenty-on- e pitched battles during the rebeland was three times reported Roue There Is ficent specimen of white La Marque 1902, 1 Fat Up a goad Blaff." The Rev. Alexander Allison, Jr., Denuded bf Lightning. pastor of the Southwestern PresbyteW. W. Reed, a wealthy land owner rian church, in a recent sermon on the and oil operator, was walking along subject of Lying, illustrated his text a public highway in Indiana recently with numerous stories, and one of when a severe storm was passing these showed how, even in church, a leads over. He was carrying an umbrella, mans false pride sometimes him to prevarication. A young man which was struck by a bolt of lightning and torn to pieces. His clothing took his best girl to church and, when was torn into ribbons and scattered the time for "collection came round, about tbe road. He was found a short rather ostentatiously displayed a $5 time later In a nude condition and gold piece. Presuming upon the en thought to be dead. He was carried gagement to marrythat had been into a neighboring farmhouse, where made by her, the foung lady placed he recovered, and does not seem to a restraining sand upon the arm of suffer Why, dont be so extraany bad effects from ki her fiance. vagant, George, she exclaimed. strange experience. "Oh, thats nothing, I always give $5 when I go to a strange church. Interview la Glaa Box. Just then the deacon came with tne A remarkable arrangement for interviews betwen solicitors and clients plate, and George dropped a coin. prevails at Holloway Prison, England. Everything seemed favorable, and the The interviews take place in a glass young man beamed with a sense of generosity. Then the minister made box within a large room. The solicitthe announcements for the week, and ors and the clients are seated at table, where they can discuss the case concluded with the wholly unexpected with the utmost freedom, without risk announcement of the days collection. The collection said he, of being heard. The warder who promenades outside the glass box can "was $3.75. George hadnt much to say all the see everything and hear nothing, and way to his fiancee's home. he can especially detect any attempts to convey correspondence to or from the prisoner. Immense Sarcophagus, The most remarkable specimen of Punic art which has ever coma to Freiburg to Bo Flower City, The inhabitants of Freiburg, in light was discovered recently at Carn to make thage by P. Delattre, a Baden, seem determined their town, if not the most beautiful archaeologist, which is fashioned of in the world, at any rate unique as re white marble and beautifully ornaThe town mented with engravings. gards floral decoration. That it council have decided that all owners served at one time as the tomb of of balconies shall be provided free of some Carthaginian ruler all obtaincharge by the town gardener with able evidence tends to show. M. Heron de Villefosse gave a trailing creepers, such as ivy, Virginia creeper, etc.. In order that the town graphic account of this discovery at may assume the character of the th? last meeting of the French flower city. Academy of Inscriptions and Belles-Letteand maintained that it was by far the most notable specimen of anWater In "Death Desert. n While boring for oil the other day cient Carthaginian art which has Vet at Engle, N. M., in the heart of the been found. , It was while excavating in the famous "Journey of Death Desert, an artesian well of water was struck Punic necropolis near the hill of Skint which will be more valuable to the Monica that P, Delatre came across region than an oil well could have this royal tomb. As to its future desbeen. During the Mexican war a tination various rumors are afloat, but detachment of soldiers had to cross It is most likely that it will be removthis arid region, and out of 165 all but ed to some French museum. fourteen perished for want of water. dead. Buh. in Ventura, Cal., a magni- Edwarj. There are probably very few persons in New York who are aware of the fact that in Central Park stands an oak which was planted by King Edward VII. of England. This Interesting tree stands on the west side of the Mall, near the bronze statue of the Eagles and Goat. It was planted by the king more than forty years ago, when, as the young prince of Wales, he made his first and only visit to this country. The royal tree is in an excellent state of preservation, although it is crooked and stunted in growth, despite the particular care which the park gardeners have devoted to It. Effects of a big least are almost as bad as effects of a big drunk. rSS ludli by DRf Story Pub. Co.) tsd f He had me done up." ma Upon the promotion of William , re- Who what, of is dli the to Faldis position Tarnley Your man, Faldis. He hired a bal? Na- me calving teller of the Thirteenth Inter-Stat- e Detective agem-thi tional Bank he began to show signs of J dosen me. ha i the widening of his horizon. He spell- - I men to slug And he got away . ed out his middle name in full and at- a si Of course, but our office and all t eaae I qulrtd the art of appearing notified soare and every our men we in a dress suit He narrowed his aont clal orbit until he felt justified in is watched. Oh, he cant get away ft, as exclusive, good. noui classifying himself When Llngar was alone In his cut and then he discreetly fell in love witn orpi inha the daughter of Abel Llngar, the presj- - riage driving home, he gave way ft bis anguish and groaned aloud. rom dent of the bank. for him Miss Ungar I was realizing the enormity of the thg Fortunately I was not beautiful of face, and there that had at first stunned him. Whft o tl I butler home who the reached he in her swuty was neither symmetry nor grace ordl door ior him was In a flunj The figure. These gaps in her structural open the He took off his hit of excitement charms made his love course easy, rouli In visiting her fathers bank her and gloves and overcoat and thrw tarv keen eye fell on Faldis. He was rather them, rather than handed them to th ha C He strayed into the pari !ms pleasing in appearance, with light servant blue eyes, a blonde mustache and a Iona ill tl pink and whits complexion. He could kin sing all of the popular and sentimental songs. He sang the seutiment&l ary ones for her and before the end of the egul season he was calling her Ethyl when aya no one else was in hearing. hey When he asked her to marry him, she gave him her hand and their secret troth was plighted. All that reCai mained to be done was to obtain the consent of Abel Llngar. Here Faldis' r t ilnii training was a hindrance and not a wdl help to him. He could not disassociate Ethyls father from the president of a the Thirteenth National Bank, and he imei could not summon sufficient courage Nidi to ask President Llngar for the hand of his daughter in marriage. When he arose in the morning his Get resolution was fixed, but at night he iurtl returned fretfully to his couch with th tha dreaded task still ahead of him. na Whenever he would put himself in the nd presence of Ethyls father it was only to discover the great president of the Thirteenth National Bank and he thick-jaweathletic looking oat would retire in deferential confusion. A followed Faldis. acOne evening when closing his counts he found they were wrong. and drawing room and had reach There, in his own handwriting, was a the wide door to the library when ! false entry of $20,000. Over and over stopped, tottered and clutched the ' the books he went, but the studied for support. noi examination only confirmed the awful "Faldis!" he shrieked. DOl evidence that he was short $20,000. The butler, who had hovered new, ht At of President Llngar rushed to his side. .Stalking i,. majestically Robber! In my house! through the Quick, counting room of tbe bank to his pri- Percy, sound the alarm! vate office, Faldis shook jylth terror. No, no, papa, wait. Listen to ma It suddenly occurred to his over- and Ethyl ran to him and put her armi wrought mind that perhaps the bank around his neck, while the quid had an unexplained overplus of $20,-00- hands of the butler were obeying th With the Impulse of this vagary masters orders. he rushed off to the office. My daughter my child are j Wi I beg your pardon, Mr. Lingar," he Interceding for this thief? 11 v faltered, "but er has is there an Yes, but we will confess alL No d can you not forgive us? overplus of $20,000 se, What?" We will confess! We! what & nai "Has anyone made an error? you mean? What part can you ban An error? An error of $20,000? in It? thundered Llngar. What part have I in it? she saU The cold, accusing manner of Llngar slowly. Do you think, papa, that I an sounded the depths of Faldis abjec- insensible to my own hearts, desire! tion. The reaction was instantaneous. I had the eager part of one who loves The pale blue eyes of the teller ceased He has robbed my poor, dear paps, I to waver in their glances and became know robbed him of his darllu as fixed and steely as those of the daughter. And, running to Faldla, president No longer cringing, he she threw her arms around his ned straightened up defiantly. and kissed Urn repeatedly. "Did you say there was an error of The clanging of a brass gong sou&fr said Lingar in slightly soft- ed In the street, followed by a rod $20,000? ened tones. of feet up the steps. The butler threi "I did not, but there is an item of open the door and four policemen h that amount in my books which I am uniform rushed in. unable to explain. Whats the matter, Mr. Llngarr "You are ill, Faldis. Take a rest of asked the sergeant of the police. a day or so. Johnson will take your Arrest that man. place. Ethyl swooned in Faldis armh. Faldis went back to his cage. A few "Wouldnt you better have an eminutes later Johnson, tbe assistant xplanation first? asked Faldis coolly cashier, entered it Faldis had on his What can you si) Explanation? ' hat and was buttoning his overcoat. in explanation? Johnson did not notice that Faldis "Let us excuse these officers first overcoat was bulging at the breast. Lingar looked at Faldis for some "Go through my accounts carefully, time, then turning to the police hi Mr. Johnson, and find the mistake, I asked them to step out in the hall for am 111. awhile. Faldis walked slowly out' of the You are a man of sense, so listea bapk. A thick jawed, athletic looking I did not take the $20,000, although !t man stepped quietly out of the office looked bad for me. I didnt propoM from behind Lingar, and followed like, being made an innocent victim, and II shadow on the footsteps of Faldis. provided against it My first proviiin A few hours later Johnson entered against it, you have discovered iM the presidents office with a sheet of the bank, I believe. ' The second m I paper in his hand. to get rid of your detective so thstlj "I find that this item of $20,000 is could put the money away safely to merely a clerical error. Mr. Llngar, future emergencies. The third caiei he said. ful thing I did to save me from ttt Then there is nothing irregular in was to marry yosr Faldis accounts? said Llngar, bright- - penitentiary daughter. ening up. Ungar stared at him dazed and vaNothing that is nothing in this cantly, but waited for him to continue connection. I have not brought the "Now I hardly think that you wait figures up to date yet.', to put the. bank to the expense of Then do it Ill wait quarter of a million dollars just it make a convict of your But the money! Where is it? "Oh, that is put away where no obi but me can get it, all except $1,091; that I paid to have your detectln taken off my trail. I can turn over t) you $249,000, or I can keep It. Lingar was silent, his brows co(Copyright, $1,000. WAS NOT WORKING WITHOUT In BY JAMES OTSIJAUGHNESSY. good-natur- lion A Remarkable ban- Pennsylvania-Germa- n quet in Philadelphia. The story, he said, showed the readiness of the Dutchman to obey Pennsylvania those in authority: In 1864 Sheridan, under orders, burned every barn from a valley above Staunton to a certain point below Winchester. A band of angry confederates followed this raid, watching for a chance to pick up any stragglers. Among others who fell into their bands was a little Pennsylvania Dutchman, who quietly turned to his captors and Inquired: "Vat you fellers going to do mlt Son-In-La- w. Valuo of Eneoaragomeat, Perhaps there ,1s nothing else so productive of cheerful, helpful service as the expression of approval of praise of work well done, and yet there is nothing so grudgingly, so meagrely given by employers. Many of them seem to think that commendation is demoralizing, and that the voicing of appreciation will lead to listlessness and the withdrawal of energy and interest. This evinces but a poor knowledge of human nature, which is always hungering for approbation; but how mistaken such views are is shown by the loyal, and unstinted service given to those large-mindmen who treat their employes as members of a family committed to their care ed father-in-la-w. An error of $20,000? thundered Un-ga- r. . t Johnson returned' to the presidents that afternoon with tremb-blln- g hand and quivering Up. What Is It, Mr. Johnson? cried Llngar, springing from his chair. Faldis Is short $250,000 on office late to-da- slip. v Llngar gasped, but with his returning pulse his eyes flashed with a quick glare of triumph. We will not lose it," he cried. He had the money in his pockets when he walked out of here this morning. He cannot get away. I put a shadow on him the moment he stepped out of the bank. I judged that thief rightly. Late that night, Ungar and Johnson were going over the books when a knock came to the door of the bank. At a Blgnal to the watchman, the door was opened, and the thick-jaweathletic looking shadow entered. He had a bandage over one eye. Whats this? cried Lingar. d, . ! Use. HI Bins fa HU Bolno An east side character, well-kno- t! about the Marble building in wh the supreme court holds forth, wetr 1 a particularly brilliant solitaire mond ring, with the stone turned U toward the palm of his hand. was asked it he wore his ring this for fear it would be stolen. . he said, scorning thevIdt "No, The thief what is wide awake enot-t- o rob your Uncle Isaac he aint he born yet. It's for business reasf-thI wear my diamond so. fellow comes to touch hold up my hands so, (with the be toward him) and 'say, Im broke, I ' friend, and he don't Bee my dianic and he goes away. But when I w to do business with a man who I money, I turn my hands so (with palms out) and say: What can I for you, my friend? and he sees big diamond and thinks I'm a man to deal with, New York Pr f ' at |