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Show That an English newspaper must have needed publicity when they would stop to such low levels as bringing an empty casket with the supposed remains of General Kitch-ner Kitch-ner contained therein. ' That Dr. Eliot was not a politician but he was known throughout the length and breadth of this country. May we have more like him. That you want to read Jim Ewing's story on Valentino this week, it ia really pathetic. Many women wept at the side of the casket, but for a real cry read the story in the other columns of this weekly. That the amount of alimony some women ask in their divorces are ample proof of the value of their husband. That we would like to see a nomination nom-ination of any kind that didn't have the purse strings to pull. That the two ladies who swam the channel so easily couldn't have done it with an oldtime bathing dress. .')bid It Ever Occur to You " That there is not much of a chance y , to buy old clothing from the girls in a ' beauty revue. That a wise man is likely to know V " i wnen h nas had enough before he ; . '. gets it. ) . That if short skirts remain in " style another year legs will get over I their self consciousness. That the old song writer would turn over in their grave if they heard t some of the modern concoctions such' as "Horses" and "Animal Crackers." - That the more explanations some' I men make the less use the world has! . for them. That It 'is said meats may be ' doubled in price next year, we don't eat but little now. What will happen later! t That fish get caught in the place where some people are entitled to be slapped. That there are some Amricans that will raise H - - - and defend . the church they stay away from on Sundays. Sun-days. That it would be far hotter than an election to be bought, than to have to hear some of the oratory in its connection. ? That modesty manages to parade n in public with considerable frequency. ' ' That the woman who used to go for ' a swim dressed like Mother Hubard C but now she dresses like Mother Hub-.'' Hub-.'' V bard's cupboard. . That some men are abused because of their -wealth, but they don't seem to mind It. ,, , That figures may not lie, but fig-s5s fig-s5s ures of speech are sometimes mis-f mis-f - leading.- v . ' . That under, some conditions a man can make more noise by keeping hlB . mouth shut than in any other way. That when you think milk, think Hogan's. t'l great for the babies. . That there are times when a girl discovers that the young, man after her own heart is not after it at all. That a man can do himself a . favor by keeping on good terms with his neighbors. That most of the things that are to be had for the asking benefit the giver more than the receiver. , -r That most of the politicians seem , to forget the advantages of advertis ing in newspapers. . That half the time when a girl thinks she is in love she is merely jealous. That statesmanship is letting some- body1 else play cheap politics to get the office for you. That "wej have no bananas today" but there are plenty of them at Wells' Groceteria. 1 That Wells' Groceteria has a dundy assortment of nice green vegetables ' and you should lay In your supply for - . over Sunday. That It costs more to avenge our wrongs than It does to protect our ' rights. That the capitalists don't worry any more about Labor day. That it Is said the primary In ; Utah is quite secondary. ', That local leadership is often fool ishly forward when it comes to intercommunity inter-community interests. ' That we are not asking anybody for money to purchase a machine to print the newspaper, but it will be in operation in the near future. ' That what is everybody's business should have the attontjn of everybody every-body at least more than it now does. That if there are six millionaires In Utah, why not give the names of the Bingham millionaires. |