OCR Text |
Show At a Dlaadvantage. "My friend," said, the philosopher, i "my motto is, 'Stay on the sunny side pt the street'" Tve tried that," replied the pessimist, pessi-mist, "hut It won't work." , "Why not?" "The minute I brighten up people who know me as a man under a cloud think that's an opportune time to strike me for a loan." . A Departed Treasure. "Was your boy Josh much of a help to you around the farmf' "Yes," replied Farmer Corntossel. "I didn't realize how much of a help he was. He didn't do much work. But he could play the Jew-sharp an' tell riddles rid-dles an' keep the farmhands entertained enter-tained so that sometimes they'd stay for days at a time." Too Busy Knitting. "I proposed to Miss Peacher last night" "Did she accept you?" "She said, Tea, In an absent-minded way, but I'm afraid that Isn't final." "Why notr i "She was knitting at the time. I don't believe she understood what I asked her." Less Trouble. "My wife hates to answer the doorbell door-bell Sunday afternoon when she's comfortable com-fortable in a kimono." "Mine, too. But she says she'd rather take the trouble to dress than to wear herself out guessing around the circle of her friends trying to figure fig-ure out who rang." The Work Hater. "This Idea of an age limit Is all right," said nodding Pete. "But it stops too quick." "What do you mean?" "There's nothln to look forward to. A man Boon gets too old to fight but he's never too old to work." LATER THE BETTER. I Ilubby Hurry, dear, or we shall be too late for church. Wlfey We can't be too late when ' I'm wearing this new drss and hat Word Watting. Oh, conversation doth enhance The idlenesi where danger Ilea; Perhaps here Is another chance For people to economise. Its Class. "What is that list hanging tip there?" "It Is a catalogue of articles not subject sub-ject to tariff duty." " , "Then it ought to be the free list suspended." A Good Reason. "Why don't you accept him If he has offered to have his life insured In your favor?" "Because If he was a good risk for fho trMTiriPe compnny, he'd be a bad one for me." j Just Reward. I Weary Willie Dat's the worst pie ' I ever tasted. Mis. Jones Wait Just a minute and I'll give you a dollar. That pie was baked by ray husband's mother. Crowded Out Mrs. Flathunter Are there any rats or mice In this apartment? Mr. Cubicle, the Agent Only mice. We can't supply space for rats at less than $l.r)0 a month. The Preper Time. "About what time was it when the witness was giving his evidence that the prisoner lost countenance?" "I suppose it was when bis face fell." Wrong Again. MfGonirle I think she's a brazen any, Louis I '.'.iiilin You're wrong, Ed; she iti't even ride In a stripped roadster. |