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Show TIH: 8 uoauDUTOamjnOTnuutmmrouunaautmntmDtrau C? HKI- - opposite qualities indie tin li.ip I Q understand that the Strom-bersyndicate is made up of some swell young men, including bankers' sons and so on. One of the latter is credited with having chipped in $500 toward the fund, he being a worshipper at fair Leila's shrine. It would be interesting to publish the lint of interested parties. 1 g Saltair closed its season amid a blaze of glory anil a free light. to the It was a fitting wind-uThe popular ladvM contest. sight of one of the demi mondcs of Salt Lake declaring martial law from Charlie Auers bar must have been as sorry a sight to the guzzling crowd as the discolored optics that some of the participants in the affray nursed for d tys afterwards. Of course, the matter was hushed up in the daily papers which only made reference to a couple of businessmen brutally assaulted' by a gang of toughs. p S According to a court in Massachusetts it costs just Si to encircle a ladys waist with a masculine arm. I dont know much about .the sensation of squeezing a girl from the land of beans and brown bread, but if she compares with Utah girls it would be a grouch' man indeed who would kick at the price of admission. ished his supper In carefully arraigned his toilet ami departed, after having kissed his darling wife and two little babies. .Mind vou, I was told all this bv the wifes sister. In the meantime the spouse got ready and took the next car for the depot and secreted herself until the train pulled in. Our friend from Ogden alighted and the physician and gay deceiver kotowed to her as only a silly man can do. But the scene suffered a change. The wife emerged from her hiding place and without any preliminaries attacked our Ogden friend with an umbrella. The husband vainly sought to interfere, but ceased remonstrating when confronted with the threat that he would receive a dose of the same medicine. The finale was a hurried search for a cab in which the doctor and spouse sought refuge, while the Ogden lad' returned to the Pullman and, I am told, stopped off at Provo. Moral .Ascertain just when the wife returns. -- -- $$ $ There is a prominent physician on Hast Second south street who .will be more careful in the future when his wife goes away for a vacation, because of a little esca- pade that occurred at the Short Line depot the early part of the week. It seems that the medico was looking forward to a time with an Ogden damsel, who, bv the wav, was mixed up in the senatorial campaign last winter. She is a pretty little slip of a woman and I really dont blame the doctor for sending her a note to come down, and arranging to meet her at the depot. But unfortunately in this case, the spouse returned from her summer sojourn a few days earlier than anticipated and the .note accepting the invitation fell .into her hands. She carefully sealed it again, however, and when the husband returned it was handed to him without a hint of suspicion that any like a surprise was in store. When he had fin devil-may-ca- . re The l'fmemx buyel fCKERAL DIR1CI0R S -- (MBAIMIR TELEPHONE 445. I mi which llu he UCIhlD ttj iT! 'land, and one of the plnelpil arguments in favor of the whtcl u the I .hern icuaranne j with it. AnJ that Milch able are moan aomethlnir. because we c to and alwas will make ,t Kimd. we aek jour caieful attention to what oifer. leeiint: certain that the merits of our IV.S models will nt once be appar- nt. and ou will unhesutatinKly demy choice for! viate: "I he rimenix no w. AWl.OWS 1 i:COM SOUTH. i I tua-ante- e For First class Bicvclc repairing and umcltv woik goto j ; 1 lit, We host of j the latest rnakei of met and a larne number machine also hav t:cw second-han- d ttmcnlx Agency. I. I. I'AltlKK. S 151 V. Tempt j j J ; .A j The New Grand Bar. BYERS BROS. All work iruanmteed. I, very thing First-Clas- cor. 3d souih s wesi Bicyclo lerne. rented. sell Ltke city s. Lemps and Salt Lake Our uTs TalFv Beer on Draught. 20., STATI: 5TRKKT. '? ll'""c"f'lKr' Peters, A t Proprietors. LUNCH ROOMS In Connection 1i .vate hooms for Ladies. A mother indignant to find her little son so very low in his class Entrance 104 at school, exclaimed wrath fully: I am all out of patience with you, Jack. I should just like to know why George Jones is always at the head of his class, while you are always at the foot? Jack hesitated a moment and then looking his mother squarely in the face he said innocently: Vou forgot that Jones has very clever parents. He a I flrlclcst itlhir.it ian Js s WAT SOINj A.S. MORTIGIAN. c piest marriage. c He - That's uhv I am looking c for a jir u i t li money. C c c THE IMIOMNIX. s Be mine, darling. 15. 2nd South. SALT LAKE BUSINESS COLLEGE, Established in 1889. practical day and evening school for both sexes. Private instruction for backward students. Rates Reasonaolc. Visitors Welcome. An up-to-dat- e, No Vacations. Vou Call, or Write for Information. can alone light my existence. She Ves, dear but papa thinks you are not a good match for me. ; $$ WE MAKE SPECIALTY OF merits Me married. AND GRILL ROOM. $ S Mrs. S. Send me a leg of mutton and be sure it is from a black sheep. Butcher A black sheep? Mrs. S. Ves; we are in mourning, you know. t t They say that persons of ss PRIVATE DINING ROOMS BANQUETS AND PARTIES. Mamma Of course you know people do not talk in church. Little Willi e I know, mamma; except when so mebodys getting She A 1 1 Positively the finest cafe between Chicago and San Francisco Matt GOLLINSON, Proprietor. 155 MAIN STREET, SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH. TELEPHONE 559 |