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Show "VfANAGER Iinnan lm.s returned from tho East. It cant bo long beforo tbo other manager puts in an appearance. JEER is barred from somo of the regi- ments. Others motto: Beer and for-becr.- have adopted . tbo " NOTORIOUSLY incompetent is the al- most universal verdict concerning tbo departments of the war and navy. are common enough in Cuba, but we have seen a Caino break for tho Philippines within the week. AIN-BRAKE- S JpROPICAL fruits grow in such abund auco on the Spanish islands that our boys will be able to Philippine no time. AMPSON may use tho ancient weapon with deadly effect upon the Spaniards, but ho will break it when bo tackles Span' ish names. VJHE : GUNS of Deweys fleet should be turned on the army of Avould-b- poets who are just now Hooding the country with their productions. e . r : No. 15. SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH. 28, 1898. MAY npHUS SAITH the Denver Post: As he contentedly strokes their silken strands the paragrapher of the Salt Lake Herald says: It is easier to grow whiskers Herald may obituary writing. FRANCISCO papers say that some of the Kansans now at the Presidio never saw a lemon till they reached Cali-- ; fornia the other day. Thats nothing. Some of the Californians had never seen a Kansan before, either. ; : . HAVELOCK in speaking of military courage once said: In my experience in any British regiment thero aro always a hundred men who would storm tbo gates of boll, 800 who if they did would follow in, 100 who want to skulk in the ditches and about thirty who do skulk i RECORDING to the Munich Jugend, if an artist paints the sky gray and the grass brown, he belongs to the old school. If he paints the sky blue and the grass green, he belongs to the realistic school. If he prints the sky green and the grass blue, he belongs to the impressionist school. If he paints the sky yellow and the grass purple, he is a colorist. If he paints the sky black and the grass red, he is an artist of great decorative talent great enough to make posters. TJf OW DOES the Heralds COLORADO SPRINGS is said to be the pROM THE Provo Enquirer we clip the A following editorial noto: The report that comes from North Carolina to the effect that drafting may be necessary to raise the States quota of men is a sad mentary. on the fighting spirit and patriotism of that great state. Perhaps there is no dominant church down there to order them out. VXHAT DOES the Park Record mean? It It is freely declared that says: Governor Wells has shown too much partiality in the selection of officers for tho volunteers. The statement on which the declaration is being made is that 85 per cent of the officers are Mormons, while 85 per cent of the volunteers are mnns VfAYOR CLARK is disgracing the mu- nicipality by his boorish, methods. Owned body and soul by the high-hande- d s who seand cured his election, he ignores the commonest forms of courtesy in dealing with money-lender- s wire-worker- his personal and official opponents. His conduct in the council Tuesday night showed that he failed to appreciate hospitality. He is a reproach to the city. al very noticablo do sire to stand in with tho state admin-stratioappeal to tho press of Utah? Th Tho appointment of Park Record says: Georgo M. Downey as paymaster in the regular army, with the rank of Major, is hailed with satisfaction by his host of friends in Utah, and tho fact that he was so unceremoniously turned down by the Governor when it came to making appointments- of volunteer officers, causes his friends to rejoice all the more. Tho highest compliment ho has received on his appointment is tho undisguised and bitter dislike the Salt Lake Herald manifests in his preferment. To see him get a position from the government that is worth twice as much as any job in the gift of the Governor, is apparently more than the Herald could bear. Hurrah for Downey. n there or elsewhere. quietest town in tho country. No church bolls are rung there, and no whistles are blown. A local paper admits that dogs bark at night in Colorado Springs, as they do everywhere else, but it adds that when they run about they make no noise with their feet in the sandy soil. Gmi-cner- confronts tho nation. CIR HENRY non-Mor- ! pHARLIE The Tribuno has a monopoly of that; in fact it is about tbo only lino tbo Tribune has over distinguished itself in since it quit roasting tbo Mormons a year or more ago. Lot tbo Herald keep off tbo Judges reservation. than grow wiser. gAN BURTON is Adjutant of tho Utah militia now. So much tbo worse for tho militia. He is governed too much by his likes and dislikes to promote harmony in tho guard. Men who pout and stop spoaking to people they have a spita against aro not loaders. They ought to do housowork when a crisis tbo Salt Lako QNEas THING well leave alone: . A number of years Mormons have pORattracted a deal of attention in great the outside world on account of their practice of polygamy and other peculiarities. Many seem to think that every one from Utah is a Mormon. So when the Utah volunteers, half of whom are Gentiles, went to San Francisco, the word came back from some of them or from some. one else, that they were attracting lots of attention in camp. The Deseret News tries to make a point for the church, and says that Californians stand around wondering at and admiring the Utah boys, which the old grandmotherly thing explains thus-wise- : This is but another illustration of a fact which so often has been observed, that wherever the sons and daughters of these valleys of the mountains mingle with the rest of tho world, they attract attention. It is so whether they are engaged in intellectual or material pursuits. It is but natural that it should be so. They aro the descendants of parents by circumstances carefully selected from among the most advanced of the earth, and furthermore, purified. in trials and adversities, as precious metals in fire. Isn't the News a conceited old janet? |