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Show 1-- THE E E E i SHORT STORIES. PITH OF THE STATE TRESS. Thu preparation of our State militia for real service recalls a Editor and Printer: Tho Hoe, which waa established In Salt Lake n few' weeks ago by Noble Warrum, Is a twenty-pag- e independent story from tho Glasgow Herald: A raw' Scotch lad joined the volunteers, and on tho first parade wHkly, and is vigorously buzzing about tho ears of Zions politicians, who know not whom its sting will noxt bo felt. May tho editor gather day his sister came with his mother to see the regiment. On tho march past Jock was out of step. all tho honey in sign and comb down all tho drones in tho hive. "Look, mither, said his sister, "theyro a oot o stop but oor Jock! Tho Provo Enquirer, referring to Senator Cannons recent letter to Hon. C. E. Allen, says that ho protects a littlo too much that Ills personality is nothing and principle everything. Here Is another on tho samo lino: Jock Tamson had joined tho local volunteers, and In duo course was called upon to turn out for shooting practice. Proud of her war-rison, Jocks mother sent his younger brother, Tammy, up to tho fraternity applaud Hinghani Hulletin: All tho tho message. Tho time for peace is when Spain upon her knot's humbly rango as well, so that sho might have an unbiased report of Jocks our hero boon gone an hour, when begs for mercy, an attribute to which in all her bloody career sho has ability as a shot. Scarcely had Tammy, bubbling over with enthusiasm, burst into tho house. been a stranger. "Oh, mither, mither, ho cried; "oor Jocks tho best shot. "Has he hit tho bulls eyo? asked the proud woman. Mt. Pleasant Pyramid: America can supply a matador for ovory "Na, faith, but hes dune far better. Hes shot awa a coos tail, Spanish bull. was the astounding reply. Through tho columns of Living Issues, E. F. Munn says: A short time ago, I read in tho Salt Lako Tribune, of a largo issue of bonds, Tho best way to answer a darkey is like these two dusky states$1,500,000, signetl by tho president of tho monopoly, Mr. Geo. Q. Can- men quarrel; one was pouring forth a torrent of vituperative epithets, non. As a matter of fact, this is not interfering with Mr. Cannons whilo tho other leaned against a fence and calmly contemplated him. private or personal business, because those bonds are to draw G per When tho flow' of language was exhausted he said: cent interest for thirty years, from July 1st, 1897, to July 1st, 1927. "Are you troo'.' That is to say this Utah monopoly has placed every man, woman "Yes! and child in bondage for thirty years, to the amount of said interest. "You aint got nuffin more to say? Every dollar must be produced by labor before it can reach the hands "No! of the merchant or monopoly over which Geo. Q. Cannon is president; "Well, all dem tings what you called me, you is. $1,500,000 for 30 years at 6 per cent interest, $8,100,000 one years interor poaee-at-any-pri- co est, $270,000; being very near $1.50 indirect tax upon every man, woman and child in Utah annually for the next thirty years, based upon the present population. There is not a person in Utah, outside of this monopoly, who will receive any profit, or who had a word to say about contracting this great debt. Yet tho people have to pay this interest if it takes the shirt from the laborers back, that will make no difference; Shylock will have his bond. It has been just such infamous schemes as this that has brought every country, state and nation in bondage to the gold-bu- g monopolists. rancher who had loaded up too heavily with debt during tho flush times was gathered in by the bank on a foreclosure sale. Recently his son was asked how' his father was getting on, and he replied, "Oh, he is doing a great deal better now. He rents the land from the bank and doesnt have to pay interest. d This was not a joke, buta fact The farmer gives the bank for his labor; of the crop for the use of its land, and keeps s would hardly have sufficed to pay interest . formerly A year or two ago a Colusa county one-thir- two-third- s three-third- Tintic Miner: The Presidents message on the Spanish situation Detroit Free Press: "Major, said a New Yorker to a Southern that demonstrates is undoubtedly weak and It clearly friend the other day, "I have always been a friend of the colored race, ever owned him he is still in the bondage of the class which has sympathized with them and said a good word for them in and out failure. since his disgraceful and probably dishonest business of season; but its all off now. "Whats the matteh, inquired the Major, smiling. Price Advocate: McKinley is called the sutler of the United States. "Well, I started to a negro meeting the other day. On the way I The definition of a sutler is a small trader. But the title is appropriate met the orator of the occasion. He was one of those educated negroes even though his deals are of mammoth proportions and his stock in who should never be called a nigger, I have always maintained. I trade the honor of his country. stopped and had a friendly private chat with him. I went on to the meeting. He came later. When he rose to speak, bless me if he didnt Ecclesiastical interference in temporal and political affairs is de- repeat in a grossly' exaggerated manner our private talk. He went on fined by the Provo Enquirer in the following editorial: There is one to say: "As I kem here today I was forcibly stopped in the street by a rather ugly feature connected with the Hispano-America- n controevrsy. The Catholic countries seem inclined to favor Spain, and England, the misable white man, wrho backed me up agin a w'all and talked wif his team right in and out first among Protestant nations, stands firmly by the United States. mout so wide open I could of druv a man eveh attempts to be friendly wif me When war begins, religious fervor may play a prominent part. If the agin. Ef that flannel-mou- f Catholic countries go to interfering, then look out for a general war. agin Ill publish ever word he says. Fo Gaw'd, Ill do it. Ef he was r. An ef yod a heard the smat a nigro Id call him a There is no telling exactly where the difficulty will end. things I said to him yod a bin proud of this heah edicated nigro. So I made up my' mind that a nigger is a nigger just as you The Brigham City Bugler has issued a beautiful boom edition, well printed on book paper, tastefully illustrated in half tones, filled with have always said. All you needed, replied the Major, "was a chance to get a little interesting facts and figures, showing the resources and attractions of the great Bear River valley and Box Elder county. The Bugler did better acquainted with an educated nigger. The others are all right. Its the hifalutin niggers that turn people against the race. But you itself proud. must bear this in mind: Exaggeration is nigger wit. Public use of Logan Journal: "Fighting Bob Evans is reported to have said private talk is nigger talent. Dont blame a critter when hes bon that if he had his way "there w'ould be no language but Spanish spoken that way. And the Southern gentleman bit off the end of a fresh cigar. From the daily procrastinations in hell for the next five years. which are taking place, His Satanic Majesty must be getting exceedingly Impatient for the colonization to begin. Prospects bid fair, how-eve- r, The Payson Header has reached Vol. 3. and is still reaching In a to send him the first installment of the soft, sibilant speaking most commendable manner. Heres to the Header. May it keep It up. senors about the end of this week. un-Americ- fo-ho- blue-gumme- ss |