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Show J1 SATURDAY, JUNE 6, 1925 OWL-LAFFS r O. W. L. (On With Laughter) . Iter shoulders heaved and her breath cams ia short gasps. Her eyes glazed as she gazed sternly to the front. Then she broke -lato terrible sobs. Thepent-up emotion burst forth with all the energy of a spring freshet. The tears streamed down her face. "Gawd," she gulped "four out of every five has It." 'Marry and you'll grow old In harness har-ness wisely. We expect to read any day widow being loft a bootlegacy. of a Love maketh the world go round at a time when It should be asleep. Faint heart nor won a husband. complexion ne'er Many a business has pot away frotu It's owner on running accounts. - - - A TiOVK WKST---- Her lips were red, ripe cherries Her cheeks were peaches fair, Her brow a dream of fairest cream And carrot was her hair. She was the apple of his eye His honey, fond and sweet No wonder he was sure that she Was good enough to eat. Advice that Is really has to be asked for. worth takins It's true that a man's home Is hu castle but he ain't always the king. The good old days were those In wnicn the bartender s W hat s your poison?" was a jest. The world over, the man who is for nomethlng never talks so loudly as the man who la against something. Divorces are Increasing so rapid ly that smart bridegrooms, In arrang ins me ouuget, snouia set aside, a sinking fund for alimony. "Was your uncle's mind vigorous and sane up to the very last?" One of the heirs: "That we don't know as yet. The will will not be opened until tomorrow.' An old-fashioned doctor Is the kind who tries to find out what s wrong with you, instead of calling in two or three of his friends to discuss the mat ter. ' .. The wise virgins tirmmed their lamps and had light. Dut who ran tell what the foolish virgins trimmed In the dark. "These things ain't worth a darn." bald Gladys as she threw her stock ings out the window. The trouble with an explanation bt that It never explains. What the World Is As Seen by Popular Mechanics Magazine AMERICAN FORK CITIZEN Doing ELECTRIC j "'CELLAR . BLOWER"' VWMA CELLAR- 1 COLO-AIR 1 ELECTRIC BLOWER Moral sfatkod of CooOn tnd VaadlMfaf Fana Cellar wfta Air Coobd by Coatact with Waur and Drawn tarwiga aa Uodartround Duct Cooling and Ventilating Farm Cellar . Nearly every farm has a well or creamery near the bouse thai can b used to advantage for cooling the oailar. A aim pis method of doing this, using water to cool the air, which is drawn through an underground pipe into the cellar, ia shown in the illustration. illustra-tion. In the upper figure fresh air enters the well and is cooled by the water before entering the pipe, and aa electric blower sucks the air through the pipe and into the cellar. The humidity of the air is also increased in-creased by passing over the' water. If this method is not possible, a similar simi-lar cooling system shown in the lower detail can be made to work in connection con-nection with the water tank in the creamery, if this is not too far away from the house Thejdtict, Jh rough Which' llie'""c6Td ' aTfw drawn. Is run through the water tank as indicated. Inspect Aerial and Ground An occasional inspection of the aerial and ground should be a religious reli-gious duty of the owner of the receiving re-ceiving set, but especially after the last snow has disappeared from the ground. Winter storms impose a heavy strain on the aerial and masts, and these should be gone over thoroughly thor-oughly to see that they have not been damaged, or the aerial accidentally grounded.. There is also the danger that soldered connections have become be-come corroded during the season of alternate snow, sun and rain, and these should be looked to also. fT No-parking signs to be placed at thu eutranee of a gantge were quickly and cheaply made from a discarded Ford rear-axle housing. Pipes were i . i .i eiyji JH OUi cna to accoiummlaUi l lie t mm. ami (irmly riveted to 'each half j -m i'm of the housing. ' I i Two Hundrad Inventions Daily -Rl porur of the patent oflicfc for 10l ahow that applications were re-r,,v,Ml re-r,,v,Ml it the rate of about 300 a day and that some 200 were granted daily, inc,lin designs and trademark. ianied totaled 6352. an in-cn. in-cn. of nearly 6,000 over 1923 and , the number of .applications was 101 131 The office reduced the number f applications awaiting official action ,v nearly 12.000 and lowered the average av-erage time to four and one-hall months for new work and to between three and four months for old wort. All fifty-four divisions of the office were less tlian eight months behind at the clow; of tlie year, while on January 1, 1024, twenty divisions were more than eight montlis in arrears. - A Stain for Glass Windows Window staining, for privacy or other purposes, can be quickly and cheaply done at home without eatt- i ing in a professional workman. The only materials required are white shellac, dye of the desired color, and waterproof varnish. For a white window, which admits light, but which is not transparent, coat the glass carefully with white shellac, dissolved in alcohol. After the sheflao is dry, apply another coat, if necessary; neces-sary; then, after drying again, oover with the waterproof varnish. Such a window can be washed indefinitely without removing the stain. Colored windows are made by mixing mix-ing ordinary cloth dyes into the shellac shel-lac until the desired shade is attained. For instance, for photographic darkroom dark-room use, mix orange and crimson dyes into the shellac until it is very dark. . TTo write black on glass or bright me'.il, use a mixture of water glass (.silicate of sixla), 1 to 2 parts, and liq- im4 hh1i,i ik, 10 parts.- Clean -the to bo written upon and use ;h:u. ALP N E Mrs. L. Uatea, Reporter. The concert given Saturday evening even-ing in the meeting house by the 'Happy Eight" from the capitol city was very, 'much enjoyed by those present. Owing to the changes recently made In the bishopric which took one of the suptrintendency of the Sunday School, Earl M. levey was released as ti: at" assistant superintendent and Henry Devey, wlyo was second assistant, was sustained as first assistant assist-ant and Ralph Strong as second assistant. as-sistant. Stake Superintendent Warnick was present. Mr. and Mrs. William Hatenian and children of Salt Lake City were weekend week-end guests of his parents, Mr. and Mrs. J. T. Bateman. Mrs. F. O. Bateman and children were week-end guests of her sister, Mrs. Wlllard Cleghorn at Park City. Memorial day guests of Mr. and Mrs. D. J. Strong were Mr. and Mrs. ft. E. Baxter and children and Mrs. Douglas Barnes and baby daughter ot Salt Lake City, and Mr. and Mrs. Fred Strong and children of Pleasant Grove. Miss Elaine Beck of Salt Lake spent Saturday here with her father, Henry Beck. The disappointed lover luckier than the groom. is often The, hard part of being poor, is trying try-ing to save while spending us much as the rich do. , "Mr. and Mrs. Joseph ieck and l'r. and Mrs. Karl Beck and chiblmi and Mrs. Annie Watkins of Provo. were Memorial day guests .! reititH e? an ! ...I., n 4 1-. in A iiit-ii'O at .11 iiinr. , a Mr. and Mrs. J. IIeni-v lieik :ire the proud parents of a fine baby girl born Saturday. . Mother and babe doii:. nU'ely. One of these here guys that writes epigrams said that cleanliness is next to godliness, but down at our house where we don't have gas for heat, cleanliness Is next to Impossible. . Fear is a shorter word for failure. j Mrs. WIHlis (laisford and children 'of Tooele. ;tre visiting at the hotu" !of her father. Mrs KkUunl Heai.'V. Mr. and Mrs. Ira Uusson and children child-ren of Garfield were we-'k-eud .8Ue vt .Mrs. Glenn Terry. lived Happy: I've for- two-Trreks. Harry: That's nothing I've IlveiFon earth for twenty years. Two good used light trucks and lone Chevrolet 3.j ton truck for n vegetables sale cheap. Stewart Motor, Am-! Am-! ericant'ork. Srwe people value ninny so lightly ; that when they are- ut they lei you pay all the bills. Mr from St vv ' ll 111 'll' Kphruitii v.'h a! d.avx. m h i return -d e . .! in "orip nr. !-t : - I'..M 1 . j'i,.,),,.. y(,i...(.y..,;...,..Hr' ffy'-u ;-h'''s alw.ivs ml t'.e wi-'lf" o- ! Srcnis Unfair All v..rts of iiHov ,ii;ee .are nivde f -r the llluslolU f ytiiilh. and n n or j. -t r'nTie. for 'Me ('i!"n-h:ir!,!!!fT:iv 1 .tli i f r."' .i. A Sweet Breath at au times hi After eatlitA or SBokiai wrifcleys freshens the moutk and sweetrns the breath. Nerrrt art soothed, throat It refreshed and dlgettloa aided. So easy carry tat tittle packet! after etiery meat Do You Know That 21,000.000 letters went to the dead-letter office last year? That 803,000 parcels did likewise? That 100,000 letters go into the mall yearly In perfectly blank envelopes? That $55,000 in cash is removed annually from misdirected enevelopes? That $12,000 In postage stamps is found in similar fashion? That $3,000,000 In checks, drafts, and money orders never reach intended in-tended owners? ' That Uncle -Sain collects $92000 a year In postage for the return of mall sent to the dead-letter office? That it costs. Uncle Saui $1,710,000 yearly to look up addresses on misdirected mis-directed mail? That 2oo,noii.fMN) letters ar iven this service, and That it costs in one city ahuie $500 daily? Do You Know That this vast sum could I... -aved and the dead-.letler office abolished if each piece of mail carried a return address, and if eadi 'par el were wrapped in stout paper and tie I with strong cord? MORAL: Every man knows his own address- if not that of his correspondent. A. V. WATKINS LAWYER Office Days Tuesdays and Fridays Bank of American Fork Building American Fork. Utah D. E. OLSEN Watch Maker and Jeweler Plain and Fancy Engraver. American Fork, Utah All Work (Juaraiitced. Primltivt WatrClock$ in the Malayan penlwuU travelers recently found the natives Ming a S primitlT. method tor meusurlnj Sma, Vhlch has probably been to Je for 0,000 years. It U called the water clock and U lnPl7 mM Tronnt Tbowl with a .man hole In the bottom. When this U placed In a 5 ot water it gradually become, full ,nd .inks, which alwgyi the same period of time 0 : th , Ma-lay Ma-lay junks it I. a common thing to aee a coconut .hell floating in a bowl of water to tell off the time away from nnrt. The ancient e-gyp- ,lan. ued the water clock, fine .and glass or water glass ha. two uses aU Its own at the present tlme-for boiling boil-ing egg, and in the English houe of common, to time the bell, that ring to notify member, that a (UvUlon U at hand. - Had Origin in Qaoit$ The game of horseshoes Is based on quoits, which Is a pastime resembling fh .nclent dlscus-throwlng of Greece. rw traces of a game resembling .t. eaa be found "on the continent of Europe and It. origin may be tonght fer on the borderland, of Scotland and England. There are reierences w. u lm the midlands, dating from the be-ftnnlng be-ftnnlng of the Fifteenth century. As-chaa, As-chaa, in bis "Toxophiius" (1M5), refer, re-fer, to the game as being chiefly by the working classea. who often oaed horseshoes for want of quolta, a cut-torn cut-torn still prevailing in country dl trlcts. Designed for Convenience The position of the hands of a clock la one which has been selected for the reason that it furnishes the greatest facility to meet the requirement for painting the longer name above the hands and the shorter word below. The minute hand has been varied In position from 17 to 25 minute, after 8. Sometimes the longer name requires re-quires to be written In a seml-clrcle above the hands. There have been stories connected with the death of Lincoln, that the- position of the hands Is commemorative of the hour of the death but this is not true. SATURDAY, Jttv RemarkabU" Com V Dr Lyman Abbott, lble to doubt the fJl he was singing -l Kno. T1 deemer Llveth.' " nat '.Ttel 'Lit. . : 1a-k, l.'.iV V." , '.v.-lid. 'i -Mov; Marl t'.roo. I.'. r in- .-: an-i T. ,;.(! Clai!:, Staten Island. N. T. Miss Jane Phenix. writes:"! am from the West, for many years I suffered iron) auto-Intoxication due to torpid liver and constipation, my system wu, so badly pis.iied that lay faee was swollen to twice Its nut nral .aiae I ws nn-. tinuously tired. "WfaTf""3(T'- ;1'i " lresii. nafi no npiieiite. I read your Tutfs r,lver I'lll advertisement and lrni them. AfU-r a few l,M 1 lwan to Improve. Tutt's J-ilU have kepi no free from a return of the illness, and I f. like s new ir-son.- Am never without them." At ail d3t.'Tst.i., V.y, A '7- Riches Garnered From Great Chilean Desert Chile has many thousands of square miles of land capable of cultivation, yet Its most valuable asset Is a desert where the rainfall is seldom mora than half an inch per annum. It does not grow a single tree, or even a blade of grass, except where patches of Imported soil have been laid, Tbls la the nitrate country, which employ. 00,000 people directly and Indirectly five times as many, and In which something approaching 1200,000,000 Is Invested. There are over one hundred and seventy separate workings, each of which is the center of a busy population. popula-tion. Tet every ounce ot food, every yard of clothing, every cog and shaft of its huge machinery, every pint of water even, has to be brought from a distance. For many miles around the country produces nothing bnt nitrate of soda. It is an amazing fact that the most valuable fertilizer of commerce comes from a region where nothing will grow, t ut It Is a case of all fertilizer and no soil and no rsln. In earlier days water was so valuable that It was a saying that It was cheaper to drink champagne, but now water Is carried by pipes from far-oft sources. some of which pre 200 miles distant. Father Picked Moral From Youngster's Joke A prominent Los Angeles attorney told the following story In a recent address to the graduates of a grammar gram-mar school. He said that his son, a high-school graduate, came home one day and asked him If be were a good mathematician. ."Tea, my boy, I think, I'm pretty good." the father replied. "Well, then, I have a problem I'd like to have you solve. There were three frogs sitting oa a log a bullfrog, bull-frog, a tree frog anil a toad frog. The bullfrog decided to Jump off. How many were there left?" The father smiled. "Why, that's an easy one. Two frogs were left." "And that's where you nre all wrong!" cxdnlmed the boy, grinning. "Three frogs were left, because the bullfrog only decided to .lump off. He didn't Jump." - ThVrV"th iiiirpr Impressed "vrpnn his .11 U ill un . l l ;,..' 4,.juCa u U .. w.hfl . M :uui J - Ui success t;.!;M net promptly on Ms decisions. r to 'Ti$ BettL It Is better to be brok. , have loved at n.Jh Black snrt- Blue Jay. Iloudini Couldn't Do Thi$ IlendUne r 'still Inspects J!e-lieves J!e-lieves Criminal I.'nfei-cl ' jn Empty Sack."- I'e'"ii Tr nnrr!pt. FREE! 0STUBt MILK CHOCOUl; At Our Biff - CAHDI DAHCX Saturrhj ; Q Enough' M The Dundet ) Utah'TS Will Fumlsh'Th. PLENTY CANDY PLENrt? Good Roads Good Fl Fallow The Red You'll Follow the CfN Not Really Profanity It Is perfectly correct when you say that "darn" got Into bad company and took some of the color of "damn." I5ut what is the origin of the word? "Dum" is not an intensive adjective meaning "very m.-t," as you assume, but Is an offspring' of the Shakespearean Shakes-pearean word "dearn, dern" which signified "terrible," originally "darkened, "dark-ened, soiled." A cognate verb Is "tarnish" (to mH). New York Herald Tribune. In the Edible Class "Tes," said the teacher, "we have several plants und (lowers named with the prefix 'dog.' Of course, the 'dog-rose' 'dog-rose' und 'dog-violet are well known to you all. Cun any of you tell me others?" For some seconds the class remained re-mained dumb. Then a bright Idea Illuminated the face of an tsrchln, and up went his hand. "Cullie Mowers, MlssT Man's Limit The boundary of man Is moderation. When once we pass that pale, our guardian angel quits his charge of us. .Always at your Service with , Pep Gas and vico om Tires Confection! and' Campers Supplie COBBLESTOIil SERVICE STAUT R. Thompson, Pn BE INDEPENDENT 1 OWN A FARM AND FURNISH YOUR OWN EMPLOY Pick out' from the following the one that suits youbrt 48 acres first class land, independent water right, wn and farm implements. x mile from sugar tactory a j t i. t-j ...ntax i!irht irouu uencu lauu. mi mar v wain .-o--- 20 acres crop .T) acres good bench land and water 20 acres good beet land near, factory.. JO acres part farm, part meadow. ffr "" SM St 10 flfr(i urruil form lanl witVi urorAl Wf " -'vt gviw in lauu tiiiu n atvi . - 7 acres in city, 3 acre orchard, full water right... :-- :jt A number of homes, large and small, can suit yo or price. All the above on liberal terms. See JAMES H. CLARKE, American Fork, tt Round Trip Summer Fares Via Excursion Union Pacific System To Points East D..i!y May SeieIil!M'i' !?2iid t. l-'th To Points Daily May I3tj t -September 30ta . Limits October 31st Stopovers- Diverse Routes . trrninv T.r;n Agents tor rurilicrrf'"'1'"'- D. S. SPENCER (ienerul PasHenBcr'Agent- bait Lake City i |