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Show FRIDAY, JANUARY 12, 1923 THE WEBER HERALD PAGE THREE Faculty Member "I have all of my examination papers corrected, Glory Be. Kerns illllllllllllllllMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMIIMIIIIILi I Crown Painless I Dentists jjj 2468 Washington Ave. Phone 549 5llllllllllMllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllr Security State Bank SAV I N G S COMMERCIAL GDEN WVVrVW UTAf .. Appearance is an Asset .. National Barber Shop Ask Our Customers Under Utah National Bank Hair Cut 35c Children 25c Shave 25c ASK FOR SWEET SIXTEEN CHOCOLATES Hot Tamales Hot Chili Chicken Sandwiches Chop Suey HUDSON NOODLE PARLORS 2437 Hudson Ave. Tel. 941 tstaria for Delicious Chocolates 2473 Washington Ave. Williams Music Co. 2215 Washington Avenue Ogden, Utah Phone 503 EVERYTHING IN MUSIC AND MUSICAL MERCHANDISE IT PAYS To have your old shoes rebuilt Better grade of leather is what we use BOSTON SHOE SHOP 2352 Washington Ave. Quality Service City Cleaners & Dyers PHONE 1011 Upstairs 2374 Washington Ave., Ogden, Utah THE COLLEGE ATHLETIC ROOM In an airy spot in the basement of the building is the college athletic room. This place has quite a bit of atmosphere (in fact cyclonic, at times), since the air from the blowers must pass thru a portion of that masculine sanctuary. From the conglomerate array of miscellaneous articles spread about the room as if they had been caught up by the miniature cyclone, one would think our athletes were also training in the finer arts of life. In one corner of the room is a battered and much abused organ which has lived a life of service and is now an out-cast from society, left almost alone, to be played only by those who happen to be in a happy mood. Even they, however, soon decide that quiet is better than the hoarse, screechy notes of the aged veteran. These enthusiasts leave the broken instrument to ponder upon its better days. Standing against the wall in another corner is a group of easels. Visions of lads in basketball suits, standing with pallet and brush, looking very romantic and temperamental, leap into the observer's mind. But, no, these articles are never pxt to any use except as a possible rack for the prospective basketeer's clothes. Stretching across the room, always in the way, when hunting for the light is a cursed pile of obsolete scenery which lends an air of dramatics to the room. It is very dramatic indeed to hear the lines muttered by our most respected students after encountering this non-essential pile of decorations and leaving part of the skin from their shins dangling from the weapons of the enenjy. Such is the life of a col- ege athlete. Despite all the "atmospheres" our boys encoun ter in their room they are devel oping into a speedy aggregation, and are looking forward to the time when Weber College will romp home with the Intermoun-tain Junior College championship. NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS We, the associated sluffers of the A. B. C, do hereby resolve to mend our ways and become strictly decent Weber, students once more. I, Margaret McFarlane, do hereby solemnly swear to cut out sluffing, cussing, and all things of that nature. I, Elizabeth Seppich, wo here by swear to quit vamping the other girls' fellows. I, Doctor Lind, do hereby re solve to give at least three A's this semester. One of them is to go to Ed. Woolley. I, the park, do hereby resolve to be ready for. "parkology" by the 13th. I, Gus Visser, do hereby re solve to have the building warm for the eight o'clock classes at least once this year. I, the Herald, do hereby resolve to have no more editors, but to sink peacefully out of existence, f one of them will not stay with me longer. We, the College girls do here by resolve to cease trying to get the president of the A. B. C. to take us out. Levi Edgar Taylor, one of Weber's first students, was present at the Founders' Day celebration and joined in the parade. At the last stop, in front of the Fifth Ward meeting house, he was heard to remark that he hoped the school wouldn't move again if these marches were to continue. Sieman B. "Ray, why don't you get up in devotional and tell the girls to come to the games and admire us in our new suits." Ray P. "They'll come anyway. You look so beautiful, even in your old suit." In English: "I got all my material for this debate from the Congregational Record." THE ARTICLE THAT NEVER GOT WROTE Oh, yes, there's a story a sad touching story of the article that never got wrote. You see it happened this way: Ruth had wheedled Van into writing an article for the Herald. Ruth was weary and besides she didn't know anything about the details of said article. Van did, and Van succumbed. Down on the steps he flopped and began to write. Ruth looked admiringly on, and the article progressed by leaps and bounds. The climax was near, a few bold strokes and the literary gem would be finished. But suddenly there bloomed on the horizon, portentious, sinister, the form of a ball player. Faster than a gathering storm threatening destruction to cities, approaching the great evil. He hesitated ; he stopped ; he talked to Ruth ; he continued talking to Ruth ; forgotten was the literary hero; the maiden laughed with the ball player. Silently rose said hero, the news-sheet crushed in his fingers and no more was seen of Van or the poem. CONCERNING THE A. B. C. AND SUCH Since one of our famous college female detectives has been working on the case of the mysterious A. B. C, a startling discovery has been made. The investigation' has brought to light the fact that this club is the "College Babies Association," organized for the purjose of protecting the college youngsters from the ravages of the college vampires. We have no room in the college for babies. It is high time that they change their tactics and form a club that will show their mettle. EXAMS The past week the Weber students have been caught in the snare of exams. Alack a day, what a sea of hopeless looking faces 1 We are all aware that the examinations are the fateful windup of the past five months of work. We wonder who will be lucky enough to escape the dreaded "F." Such remarks as these may be heard : "Did you get them?" "I'm simply scared stiff." "It wasn't fair to spring that on us now, was it?" "Don't you think those questions were horrid?" We've all heard them and doubtless have contributed our share. But let us take heart; brighter days are coming. We can console ourselves upon the fact that our heartless teachers pay heavily by spending hours correcting our brilliant papers. Take heart fellow workers. In after years when cares weigh us we shall look back on "Exam Day" with pleasure. The reporter asked for some jokes to put in the Herald; one of the other members of the staff submitted the following as jokes : Heber Jacobs and his "baby shoes." Elsworth Weaver in his basket ball suit. Athol and Melba. Reed Helm and his "many." Weber's new room. The persons who didn't march in the Founder's Day parade and trailed along the sidewalk. Doc. Lind : "Edwin, you have the formula for water wrong. You have written it 02 H, but then I suppose that was the way you felt." Prof. Barrett: "What do we breathe in the day time?" Student : "Oxygen." Prof B.: "Right, what do we breathe at night?" Another: "Nitrogen." From a college theme "Because of the lack of good home training the children become disciplines and criminals." David O. McKay and Walter Stevensen Have Thrilling Experiences in England Recently President Aaron W. Tracy receiver a letter from Walter Stevenson, a former student of Weber, who is now laboring in Nottingham, England. Brother Stevenson states that he and Elder Morton have had some very lively times with the active Anti-Mormons of England. They are, however, having a very interesting and delightful time and welcome opposition because it is a good means of spreading the truth. David O. McKay was present during the lively scenes at Nottingham. The following clippings will be very interesting to the students, especially those who may be soon called to the mission field. This is the account of the English newspaper : MORMON ROUT IN NOTTINGHAM Minister Forces "Saints' Leave Meeting Challenges That Were Answered to Not (From Our Special Investigator) Sunday Illustrated dealt a terrific blow to Mormon propaganda in Nottingham when it published the time and place of the Mormon rally last Sunday. It was the first information the townsfolk had of the event, and they were not slow to take advantage of it. A copy of this paper come into the hands of the . Rev. W. T. Barling, a Nottingham Baptist Minister, who immediately organized a band of twenty-one men and joined the church secretary, Mr. E. Hemmington, at their head. The indignant anti-Mormons forced their way into the meeting, and the fighting Baptist minister promptly challenged the Mormons to reveal their real purpose. About 250 people, including many young girls, were present to hear David McKay, one of the twelve apostles, who had come hot-foot from Ogden, Utah, to hearten the "saints" in Nottingham.The frantic "saints" wildly threatened to send for a constable, but, though one of them left the room, no officer appeared. "Prehaps they could not find one," Mr. Barling said to me.with kindly sarcasm. Mr. Barling bluntly told the Mormon speaker that the "Latter Day Saints" were there to preach the gospel of Joseph Smith. "This is a religious service," retorted the "saint" helplessly. Joseph Smith's Life. But he was forced to give permission to the intruders to speak, and Mr. Barling then told the audience some unpleasant facts about the lives of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. Standing on a chair, Mr. Barling described the "filthy and blasphemous" life Joseph Smith had led. 'He had five wives and forty-two children," he declared scornfully, "and kept his spouses in different mansions. He screwed out of his flock 200,000 pounds a year. Brigham Young, who founded Salt Lake City, had sevnteen wives and fifty-six children." When this was feebly challenged by the embarrassed "saints," Mr. Barling reminded them that a Mormon elder at present in England was living with three women, and that the President of the Mormon church in America had three wives. The "saints" were routed and the meeting began to break up in disorder. "Directly I challenged the 'saints' on the platform," Mr. Barling told me, "they all scuttled hurriedly through the back door ; they would not face it or argue." "One woman present shrieked out that she could not see any harm in a man having three wives. ;ottingnam will not tor-get that." Women Missionaries. I attach special significance to this last remark. For some time I have known that Mormon women missionaries have been on their way to England to see if their feminine guile will succeed where the men failed. Are they operating in Nottingham?Nottingham has many attractive girls upon whom the 'saints' have had their eyes for some time. But these girls have shown that they are far from willing to go outside the circle of men they know locally, a prejudice which has effectively destroyed the most effective weapon in the armory of the 'saints' the good looks of their young men. That is why women Mormons are at work. In desperation, the Mormons are beginning to play one of their last cards. "The Lord is to gather His faithful in- Zion," they declare grandly. "Those who are not in the chosen land will perish." And as "Zion" is Utah, the whole of the civilized world outside Salt Lake will never gain salvation. But perhaps the "saints" will tell Nottingham people why they have built temples in Alberta, South America, and Hawaii? The following is Walter Ste vanson s account ot the same meeting : "A goodly number of strangers and investigators were treated to a spiritual feast at the Notting ham conference, Nov. 12. A little incident occurred at the after noon session. When the meeting was about half over, a Nottingham minister, followed by several men, came in and tramp ed half way around the hall, making a great deal of confusion Elder William A. Morton, who was addressing the congregation, stopped speaking, waiting for them to locate seats. The min ister blatantly called out: "Go on, mister. Never mind us." Elder Morton reminded him that we had rented the hall and were holding a religious service, and that gentlemen knew how to keep order and others would be forced to. The parson then called out something about Joseph Smith, and the speaker asked for someone to call an officer. There was no more disturbance until after meeting was dismissed, when the "reverend gentleman'1 shouted out a few accusations. but when his good character was challenged by a few members of the congregation who have known him for many years, he left the building and his gang followed after him like whipped pups. He then published a state ment in three of the newspapers that we know of, throughout the country, to the effect that he had taken possession of the confer ence and when he made certain accusations the elders all slipped out the back door. The Sunday Illustrated, a London paper, had large posters stuck up all over Nottingham and in front of most of the news stands on Sunday morning. They read : "Nottingham Parson Routs Mormons." We have been unable to get any of the papers to publish a denial for us but some of the directors of the Corn Exchange, where we held the conference, are taking the matter up and say they won't let it drop until these papers make a public denial." "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WOMEN?" AT THE OGDEN SUNDAY A cast of extraordinary magnitude and. brilliance appears in Daniel Carson Coodman's big photodrama "What's Wrong With the Women?", founded on the age-old battle of the sexes and announced for exhibition at the Ogden Theatre on Sunday. Among the artists who will appear in this unusual production are Wilton Lackaye, Hedda Hopper, Rod La Rocque, Barbara Castleton, Constance Bennett, Montague Love, Helen Rowland, Huntley Cordon, Julia Swayne Gordon, Paul M'Allister and others. THE MODERN MARKET Wholesale and Retail MEATS AND GROCERIES Telephone 2200 2432 Washington Avenue "Meet Me NORMAN SIMS 25th St. at Wash. Ave. ''See Us First" Watson-Tanner Clothing Co. 372 TWENTY-FOURTH STREET OGDEN STEAM LAUNDRY CO. DRY CLEANERS AND DYERS 437 Twenty-fifth St. Ogden, Utah Watson-Flygare Hardware Co. THE Winchester STORE WORLD'S STANDARD HARDWARE 2414 Washington Avenue Telephone 90 OGDEN, UTAH Washington Fruit Store Quantity, Quality and Price on CANDIES AND NUTS 2319 Washington Ave. ABOUT "SMALL ACCOUNTS" There are no "small accounts" if possibilities are Considered. Starting an account is the first step in financial progress, the extent of which no one can foresee. We never lose sight of the fact that many of our depositors, whose business is transacted in modest figures now, will be men and women of large affairs tomorrow. Service is rendered accordingly. 4 Interest on Savings The National Bank of Commerce OGDEN, UTAH Chas. H. Barton, President Morfoys Distinctive Shoe for School or Dress HONEST SHOES AT HONEST PRICES Men's and Women's Hose 2461 Washington Ave. Phone 819 lank rait 1 AY--i Capital and Surplus, $400,000.00 Deposits, over $5,500,000.00 H. C. BIGELOW, President Bareheaded" 5qrinirfjri m intrrrrffrnrriioirrujrrrirjiMT When you put a man to work for you, you pay him. When you work for yourself you expend energy, muscle and brain for every result you achieve. When your money's at work for you, earning interest, you put forth no effort and it pays you. That's just ONE advantage of an account in our bank. A. P. BIGELOW, Cashier |