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Show THE EVENING HERALD, THURSDAY, JANUAEY 7, 1028." iilVS TT--K FEATURES 1'ilESS COMMENT ThTOTT A- - . " T. ' - PIPPUNG., THE EVENING HERALD TRHYMES -- Anjndependent Newspaper T 9 mason j . .' V i THEEASYONE MEMBER NEWSPAPER ENTERPRISE ASSOCIATION I know I am an easy mark, I'm stung 'most every day : MEMBER UNITED PRESS ASSOCIATION rrirfalHcir-alrnof- it every sharkrwho Vm. II. Horntbrook jI , . .i , ...Publisher iHiy a oourthouse or a parlnd with my savings pay, ' It i. Gouoar Basmuson Edito i....Vtj is because my faith in men is strong and never dies; I'm stahllshed as weekly ln S56; a dally in 1922. PubilsUd In .the and stung and stung again, and never do get Wise; I stung larald building, BO South First Wt stwt, Frovo, Utah, every evening, shoo can't strangers from my den like more in "Pro and carrier ve, Delivered Sunday morning. by icept Saturday, I often comAll mutter, Never more, when I've been badly View. Provo eka View, Vineyard, Orem, Bench, and Pleasant guys.' ilftlnta of whatever BHture4iitiltl be- tntide at once?""' Telepboaa WS. stung; fno toff can teener to my door with winning smile Entered aaaeeond class matter at the post office in Provo, t'tah. and tongue, and sell for gold his pyrite pre my withers now are wrung. I'll try and show some common sense when iuslneflg Office Telephone ,.5 next a salesman comes rTll sternly bid him journey hence, .107 Editorial Rooma, Telephone .I'll downward tarn my thtumbs; hell get from me no OF Sl'BSf I T :TT"rr-TERM- S . .Oe pounds of pence or other princely sum. TThe supersalesi : ,,.$. hy carrier, per tuontltlnix. delivered by carrier, per year, la advanop .......... ....,...$4.60 man comes that night, a genial gent is he; he's agent for year, la advance . delivered by Mail io Utah, eounty.T ........$3.50 a tailless kite that is A sight to "Bee 1 1 r think, :"He is Jelivere by mail la t'niteilStotea, oataide Utah county, per year, In goodly wight, as honest as can be.'' And then I blow my dvBncei.w.v'..V..V7 meagre roll for kites that have no tails, ind in my sad. , n nj in 3 comes-aJorrg-iny-- .- j cold-heart- The Fuel Withoiit A ed BIPTIO-)eliver- Jell ed . Ul; advertising copy for the current Issue niust be 14 not later tbafl - ."y v , I 'etock, a. m, x xx The Ideal Newspapers F.vsrv newaoaDer Publisher and editor wants bifl news- Saner tn he the heat itUmsiabfcto lssueVThe difficulty is in ihe differences of opinion as to what constitutes the best newspaper. An editor asked his readers how he could make . lis paper ideals with this results. ..." I -. "Cut out the crirnes, the murders, the sensational divorce " base reports,' said the nice people. - 'Cut out theaeeidents, --the railway and steamship disasters,' said the people who "couldn't bear" to read auch hm woman; 4! the politics,1 said the f pit ' ;., kon't understand it and haven't time for . said careful the out funny pictures,?' "Cut the nother. r "Such pictures aren't funny, and they're bad, .very ,, for children." "Cut out the ponderous editorials," snapped the manwho merely scans the headlines. ''Nobody reads 'era bow- emorseful soul despondency prevails ; why is it that when akes ask toll. my resolution fails? Ah. well, perhaps it cross to bear, to fall for eyery s no shame the come-on- 's aker s game, for pitiaiL gin and snare; my faith in man kind is to blame, and that I would not spare.-J- ar better, buy a gilded brick, a town hall 6r a jail, or. hand to super- salesmen slick, at times, my1 hard-earne- d kale, theii look on every smiling hick as being false and frail. You Pay for heat (Carbon) when ypii buy' 1'. X; M Si VARIED MODERN NOISES f CAUSING LIRGEB EARS DAILY LESSONS IN ENGLISH By W.L. Gordon LOST r.)-T- it' M - - ; . -- f he '.r c - tt ANGEl.ES, Jan. T huniHn ear is giving '!r , W0PD8 . OFTEN MISUSED Don't aay "the pictnro, 1 ..... ery," at "nnlflue' anlque.'' Omit tneana without another of the aauie jhj kind.": OFTEN- li UISPRONOUXCTD Jocular. Pronounee the o a in. of. OFTEN MISSPEIXETWAppara- - f - "- J ' ' t .j 'l 1:' " tt ist?' - ' Oood-by "- smom , "The tery Btrala of tryitfg "Cut out the woman's page," said the female with tthe an insult to our SYNONYM S e, farewell, aaiiy tchear inteiiigentir in a strong mind. "It's mushy, trashy, trivial; ' ' adieu, raledictory, "; big city la gradiifilly enlarging sex." the ear through" constant lEfttA-tip"Cut out the sports and theatres," "said the Intellectual three timea and it ia yonra." Let ua stimulation ind exercise," altogether Inemsfr "Both are bad influences and both have received ur ocaJtmlary; by; master- ie pipiains. ' ' ,..::z: ' r. too much notice." la not beyond possibility ing one word each day. Today'a lit but and still another, another - "Cut out began PROLJFJC, productive; .fer that in the course of. centuriea ' -- r, " ' word: the publisher beat them to it. tile;' fruitful. 'iBueb a controversy people will develop radio' ear. ' cried. "On. second thought I have is proliflc of evlL" ; r ;.s i great flopperg capable vt reeelv"Stop, all of you," he -- to the publish is tryingiise w out it cut Jecided td myself, LjiiW '" 'T"1Wriii..iiil.iimiii ideal newspaper iintU I cdme across the ideal reader 7?fv,nnt reader no newsDaoer can live, and until human trddjr to strike, do yon meare (IB txtlOCKCT 18 will be no ideal newa-'papthere life an live tu come .has ity for nobody would read one that ' ;, Sii;i;e tteB phnosopter, to,y.HJSfe pnntjhe Buiipoalrywr and never of news is what people make it : --r s - - v n, I ; . i " insure ABSOLUTELY CLEAN IN EVERY RESPECT To proper size, order from your local dealer, or " - A scientifically made smokeless fuel ;..'.. nJ leave-takin- - NO bigger and-It may match that of the elephant, according to'Dr..jP, O. Pfuffer,' Viennese, auriat ' , : lie cltyml the aurieal evolution being hrouglit TibourTiy "treuu'nUoua din and conflict of vdmplex aolsea In which we ex- ed - s vCaltamMa Coke . .. Itauie -- - ' i ! - 1 WALT Br x ; iAyou itnay phone 204.r x 7 1 . idl te , news;thenatureo The Old American Dance. , - the astonishing features of the autumn and early winter has been the widespread revival of the old American to be the danm. lnngeriect they are now discovered been has .for, ; looKing very thingljhat ajaded generation the old music, the neighborly reels and joyous jigs, together square dances, the roUicking to import with the vocal harmony of tta calls, are all found manufactured of the more sophisticated a pleasure which the dances and the synthetic- musien rTin PaiUUley. JN. ' One of mmg1in-of-peopie--in.rt- - dnnf I -- - WW W . , XHardffitl& long-forg- Buy It i - tin '"- - . "hil -. OFFICE CAT" . " , bow-legg- I;, 1 -- BY WILLIAMS large-hearte- d, - W VOOS W Art! ka-m-- SAVJEO aAA-c- I . I .HOvresf V ARE to ' . thought for awhile he had done pretty well. By CHARLES P. STEWART NEA Service Writer. WASHINGTON Pie, the. problem - When Congress convened early in with which .Congressman Clarence December the first thjng he did was MaeGregor of Buffalo, "N. T., h to Invite gome of the oldestera, who face to face, aeema about the hard- still harlt back wistfully to the Frye est to 8orn&-- f 'any at the taplto! efr tft.1ry .his i)les, The oldsters dallied with- - them this winter. . ' listlessly. MaeGregor, as chairman nt the "Ah; yes very nice," they Blghed, Tlouse of Representatives commit- dutmiing. wlta.. Joint., praise "JjuL r tee tnrecofmuts.-iBnpreffle"SrMfilr should have Tasted those pies of (be destinies of the two house of FVjes." restaurants, the one In the office building and the one In the cnpl-to- l I And in his oi)iulon their pics are not whut they ought to be.- A man who llred In Ahoama went The trouble is, not so much that bunting and got careless with the the rrfes" Bren't pretty fair, but that eun, so now he doesn't livo say they don't equal the quality of those served In the Pen-at- e Toledo (O.) autolst raw into a restaurants In the Ion v ago wheff Sonntor- - Frye of Maine, as new building going up- .- Guess he chnlnnnn of the committee on rule, will say it wag going np on the left ' ' hand side. sboped their 'policies'. ' " Senatorial pie. In thoBe days, won ' French'' explorer has found some repute as the best .in thejnictod - bread 2100 years old. VT Hope he S'lltod. ' Determined to bring his COth Con- - doesn't sell it to a restaurant -- get.Iri j d "" !That ought to shock Vm." leered That's Where I draw the Tine," the warden, aa he shot the switch en said ar he adjusted the the electric" chair. a ,hjhu . ?' scarf for big model ' ' .' The Graduate. My nephew's apt in languages And learned to speak in many: But for lack of time omitted' .' , To learn to think in any. - v, ;i The radio reaches a lot of people, but it has yet to equal the number pf llstenera-io- . provided by rural great-natur- r . Think- - quickly. Execute promptly. Ordinary 'itch fa"ohly skin deep, Never, Give up. Never delay. Re- but,' X W. Robinson say, an itch solves not carried out are like clouds for office goes to the marrow of the without rain In drought. bones. 7 X : -- ' .'"' J'l if, lt,'"J ;t in. American ' . ' ' Teas- - . , 1 are; safely1-- ' Sealed HOT in. Vacuum; tins, , .Only'.Sc6iL- -: i UNO Teas 'Cofee ' . , ! , . -r- Tbwder-r-1 :...JSXMCM TOM SIMS SAYS V J " - - J ' t bring you the true 1 Jjt 1 v. "! -' ---::;- : 1 :: - s'lLat Qhthorlds onh lea ' . It ' ' "flvors'oF the'prient 1 A Sc6iVlino ' , '.Trotzky says me must talk less.': person lri the White House will have difficulty In follqw- -' ' i; i , ing this advice. ; , One well known lOnly Schilling Teas are 'toastcdj 6 ' . ' An awful bore Ia old George letter. He always goes ", " a ,.Qar- - yarn one,;hetter. ' f X ' the-art'- e. -- ' - Woman's ears are to be worn unteleohomt nartv-llnX covered fashion aaysL perhaps to better enable them to Jcar .wdiatjtie,: A newm'irKl Item trnm UfMann men say about their uncovered Rod Snow says the merchant who kneea. Kansas, Said i "P.t mistake Were is too' busy to be police won't be Murphy put furniture polish Instead near so' busy after whfli - " dlsturb-anea- a of corn medicine on a, sore toe. The Among the Ton cant travel very far oil lanW are jeaitbquakesi collo and soreness disappeared rapidly." Well, ' ,1-excuses... he has no kick mingr-- . ., MltcheiL,'- 1 , . j ' it Fout sunoua blendifrofflffie - - l.kwn rburcorteriof ' I . t - . rft i NOlJRE JT the level of gressioiinl pies up Congressmen Are- - lanr.ln the ra?t. MfiJrognr nwnt Now Complaining f much of lust suiumor's vacation in ; 7 About Poor Pie consultation with experts. He . YouTI Like lt A Glaalereay K'e fcard.ta Ner Expect tetiwe- men to go to church for thqr don't fai Print. The Invention of the saxophone seem to care what other men wear. 'President Coollflge broke into? a boisterous guffaw which reverberat-ewas dqe to an accident, says a scientific magazine.' One of the World's .Are you broke, or dVl yot? lie re through the White r Hons Jn ; ffully 4eHBinuea.'-- rij mdsTregrettableniccTehts. fari"ipoetpinanfTpoae.-r- , . WfjwWL WP'XfX Burn It . . - 7"Ae Twenty years ago the arrival of the new fad Jit dancing drove tens of thousands of mature dancers from the, floor, and ihe more promiscuous methods adopted for public dancv ing drove the more reticent away altogether. ANow, however, the older and more American dances return with a novelty two 4 rest theycould hardly have had except tofor this the the oldHnd both as come new, cades.' They again the of all ' To the noveltycourse, are, young they young. TVrn nlnv ttnirit.. which the vounz have vainly inMt sought in the newer forms, has been abundantly found in the uj. classics of the other generations, me great wa American dances is that they have so overwhelmingly approved themselves ta: the younger American generation. This shows that both the dances and American youth are good behard at heart. More than that, it increases the sum of pleasure in this land, of which we have never had too much. We have OUT Offjg WAY learned to work, but we have somewhat neglected the equally in important part of play. We are learning to play the social and wholesome way of those whose characters MOvN , and iraditionn shaped the nation. " Though the dance has somewhat departed from our prac tice these recent years, it cannot be- said to have departed I ."IKVfoWEL WILL from our art, literature and music. It was never completely absent from our national thought of merriment and Jilay. rXj" Voo'lltbuRwloI Its return argues a better balancing of life in. other respects ' a3 well. Dearborn Independent. V . of the "College of the knocker- - would: yqu suggest to w8 a "graduate K nocKs.- Itdtd giiiee that"' day, the artist to draw a loathsome w ulninniship In that, ntufh a thing, crawling putrid, offensive has been something not critic? .'?:'".'. ,H Would you suggest the knocker to be asanmea' o.i, ! " th A"nT, "(Vr tf "Vt'f- - The., lanykff.'.". nyrnvnet, who. come on the mat? Would you pic polishes and fits wen for living, is .3 ture "Fortune" bringing offers of a hard muster, yet a naigiiirtfl-eut- ' Would one to h!s graduates. If you have promine and opportunity? '01d Man Experience" be your idea been buffeted about by that old of the symbol? knocker, and have won your nifhe Or jWoulda atrong, competent, ui tna woria. you trc-- to be o i; bus! neiia . manl" appeal graluMeand fciiaubtjou have " to you more? nothing but praise for him. 1 It Is all In the point of view I : 4 aid ia the way you use words. Tliere should be a fortune In is There ire few words so .bad ihat It possible to hoy good dteb- Christmas neckties another co.or. I tomething .good could not be conmachine, . but, L. B. Ed washing nected with. them.. a . Nothing makes na madder than wards saysra lot of men still prefer You remember what the old lady seeing a coal man frowning during to innrry them; said who was asked what was good the Winter months , . t . about the Devil. "He certainly Is persistent,' was her answer. buly a few more shoeing months . Isn't it terrible to see a girt with "Dame Opportunity" ia often before bathing girls will be back on the face of an enge!" and thca pictured knocking for: admission. the magazine covers. glance lower to find that she's either knocks it Is be- or knock-kneey . cawse she wanta to boost. J PATRONIZE THE MERCHANTS iB(iictionary says a knock is a WHO -- ADVEBTISB " IN TOCH If a maa has, a large enough fam a nru uwf u inui j humb-tuwPAPER THEY'RE ily lie floesnt have much Mnie to Ktpvf hitter.-Wb- ea tnM you THE TOWN'S BEST BOOSTERS. worrv almnt imstorlt : ia (T1VO COLUMBIA...COKE o . II'-"TME BEST- - MA N "THE ANHOLE WORLD. - a , . . ' soa I I. I..'..T.--X mL ' ' -- --- '.t ai n- - -- -' - ' X , -- , 1. y, . . . " x . - t -- - T; : ; Elad (Oange Pekoe) f the East"."' ? ..... ' 'rt 1 r w ' . rX ...rX" " oft-- Jx- - - ;j ' ; ' |