OCR Text |
Show Nov. 1, 1977 Signpost Page 5 A Touch of Clash by Jerry Bouck Today, in yet another vein of dauntless drollery, I will explore the intimate relationship between personality efficiency and the consequential station in life. For, in reality, is there not a direct proportion between mental rapport and personal success? On a personal basis some realizations might be induced by considering the following: Are you able to effectively deploy your canopy of personality traits within the tumultuous social atmosphere of which you are part? Are you able to maximize your efforts in terms of goal pursuance? Is your status a result of achievement or ascription? Are you conceptually narcoleptic or atrophied? Have you ever been arrested for war crimes? If you have not made any realizations by now, you deserve to experience the agony of the next questionnaire. The following questionnaire is designed to specifically determine your mental rapport by having you pinpoint your corresponding level upon the social yardstick. While answering, please bear in mind that this is not an I.R.S. 1040 form. Manipulation, exaggeration and loop hole utilization will only result in more articles. Answer accurately. Check the publication whereupon your picture has been featured most often. Time, Newsweek or similar publication. Mad, Webster's dictionary or Dairyman's Journal. Matchbook covers and Preparation H commercials. Who, of the following has sought to interview you? Barbara Walters, Dan Rather or Earl Butz. The C.I.A., F.B.I., or K.G.B. Stiffhaven Mortuary. If you died right now, what would be the length of your obituary notice? One page. One sentence. Listed under "Used Appliances," in the want ads. Do you have an autographed copy of a one dollar bill? Did Nixon request your political opinion during the last days of his administration.? Yes: (he wouldn't listen though) Can't say for sure; Had my phone off the hook a lot during that time. Who's Nixon? Who's the most influential person you know? The presidential hypnotist. George Meany's guru. A journeyman emballmer. An illegal alien. What is the extent of your travels? Been around the world a dozenfold. Never made it-Plane was hijacked over Ulster and returned to Tijuana. Drove to Farmington last June to give blood. How much is your signature worth at a lending institution? Well over the six figure mark. Well over six marks. Depends on how many pop bottles I'm returning. Sports participation is close to a dead give-away. Check which sports you most often participate in. Tennis, golf, skydiving and surfing. Spin-the-bottle, backgammon and unicycling. Gang rapes, hijackings and acupuncture. Last and least, what vehicles are at your disposal? A Lear jet, Mercedez, 30 foot motorhome and a colossal yacht with accompanying lake. Edsel station wagon, hot air balloon with a 50 pound supply of pinto beans and a Beletone hearing aid. U.T.A. pass and a pair of Converse All-Stars. Feel free to rate your own quiz performance by using Lavater's immortal words as your guideline "There are but three classes of men; the retrograde, the stationary and the progressive." If you have placed yourself within the retrograde class, you might do well to memorize the following Shakespeareian passage and use it as a meditational tidbit whenever necessary. "Men have died from time to time and worms have eaten them, but not for love" If you belong to the stationary class, get some and sit right down and write yourself a letter. If you consider yourself a member of the progressive class, you are probably suffering from egomania and would be much happier as a snowmobile trail guide in Africa. Academic Senate calls for budget committee The Student Academic Senate has passed a resolution to form a budgetary recommendation committee which will make budget recommendations to the Institutional Council. The resolution, passed this week at the Academic Senate meeting, calls for the formation of a nine member committee, three from the administration, three from the faculty, and three students to be appointed by the Academic Senate. The motion was proposed ana drafted by student senator Ed Parker and unanimously by the Student Academic Senate. From here the proposal goes to the Executive Council for review. MATERNITY BENIFIT up to $1000.00 now available. CALL: MIKE McCORMICK at 621-3300 or 782-6966 TEXAS INSTRUMENTS .TM0 $15" Trig & Log Functions Algebraic Operating System 1 5 Sets of Parentheses 48 Functions Scientific Notation 90-Day-Over-the-Counter-Exchange. We carry the complete line of Hewlett-Packard Instruments, Accessories and Calculators. Cy J .mv.ui.m.v. I j JHL HJSiJHi! O I I m wm n bjbi WE WILL BEAT ANYBODY'S PRICE (If in stock at other dealer) DIGITAL WATCHES Texas Instruments 5 Functions Hours Minutes from Seconds Month Day LADIES i MEN'S from $g95 m CB a STOKES v j y 675 So. State St.. 531-022? 3670 Wall Ave., Ogden, 621-890G 44 So 200 East, Provo, 375-2CXX BROTHERS .I. i . " ive servile v n all makes & models II aua ZCML.Your Bridal Headquarters ZCMI BRIDAL SALON is the beautiful beginning of your wedding day. We have wedding dresses, bridesmaids' dresses and gowns for the mothers that will take your breath away. And Bridal Consultant Sonja Sias is here to help with your decisions and plans. ZCMI WEDDING REGISTRY is where you'll list your choices in fine and casual dinnerware, stemware and flatware-from the Intermountain Wesfs most extensive collections. Consultant Catherine Feeny will help you coordinate tableware - and household linens, other needs as well. Wedding guests simply call us and we bridal-wrap and deliver at no extra cost. So as soon as you V say "yes," come and see us. z c rv-i I |