| Show Writer Eulogizes Heroine 1 Vocal Endurance Contest Revealed Vinnie was the prettiest ed co-ed in inthe inthe inthe the freshman class Her face was washer washer washer her fortune not the druggists Her clothes proved that with her every day was Decoration Day Her tongue normally made two thousand revolutions per minute Her brain was constantly in neutral neutral neu neu- proving that light travels in inconceivably inconceivably iri- iri conceivably fast until it encounters some human minds On one subject subject subject sub sub- she was neutral She was an ardent prohibitionist i and really believed that human nature nature nature na na- ture could be altered by being hal On the other hand N Ned eg the Senior Senior Senior Se Se- class president was a philosopher philosopher philosopher phil phil- despite the fact that the I Ionly only midnight oil he ever burned was c cylinder linder oil Though a good talker he actually had an income of ideas that exceeded his expenditure expenditure expenditure of speech He could look an empty glass in the face and smile feeling sure that John Barleycorns Barleycorn's Barleycorns Barleycorn's Barleycorns Barleycorn's Bar Bar- obituary had been prematurely prematurely prematurely prema prema- written The only form of prohibition he favored was one that would stop money from getting getting getting get get- ting tight Last week Ned indiscreetly permitted permitted permitted per per- himself to be drawn into an argument with Vinnie on the question o of whether the nation was wac to be preserved or pickled Anyone Anyone Anyone Any Any- one who tried to inject himself into that discussion quickly learned I that a third party is as unpopular in politics as in love Several times Limes N. N Ned thought houg he m lad n cj her tier but invariably she took Lincoln Lincoln Lincoln Lin Lin- coln like a new breath of freedom freedom freedom free free- dom and came back as strong as asan asan an nn onion A crowd gathered around round the debaters The argument gave i I promise of becoming a marathon It had long since ceased to be a battle of brains and had degenerated degenerated degener degener- into a struggle of lungs Neds Ned's fraternity brothers always always always al al- al- al ways on the alert to discover means of getting money for nothing nothing noth noth- ing offered ered bets on Neds Ned's ultimate victory They overlooked the fact that Vinnie was not only feminine but also of English extraction They had never read that when a I visitor to St. St Helena said The British seldom win battles Napoleon Napoleon Na Na- had replied But they al always always always al- al ways win the last one The sorority sorority so so- sorority sisters felt that the frat boys were mistaken in their diagnosis diagnosis diagnosis of their discovery and that all they had found was a means of getting nothing for their money The sisters themselves were feeling feeling feeling feel feel- ing the pinch of poverty So be it the bets were on The assembled and now Tiow vitally interested audience put Ned and Vinnie in a bare room gave each a loaf of bread and a pitcher of water and locked the door After four days the sounds of voices died away Anxious betters broke into the room Ned lay on the floor unconscious Beside him lay Vinnie Vinnie Vinnie Vin Vin- nie weak still whispering in his ear car Vinnie was the guest of honor honorat at the sorority social She became deservedly the campus heroine Some Som day the Fraters will learn that not only is the female more deadly of the species but also the word heroine is a curious one in that its first two letters signify a male its first three a female its ito first four a great man and it its whole a great woman |
