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Show INCIDENTS OF TEE TRIE TOLD IN BREEZY STYLE been fed on shavings and water and are now wild. They wul now do a dance for 'you, after which Mr. Frank Waters, our gentlemanly agent, will pass among you and sell you tickets for our great tent show for tonight. The price la not H. or even SO cents, but for this time and occasion occa-sion the price la but a d-l-m-e or t-e-n, cents. Now ail together." . And what a dance the "mob" gave. It had Little Corlnne and the Sultana favorite fa-vorite daneuaes put to the uncut. The crowd gave one look and Bed for the Colorado Colo-rado line. At the rate they, hit up they should be at Grand Junction by this time. Win Wring-era Lead. f Mr. Whlttemore then announced that the "Bell Wringers" would lead the parade, pa-rade, nightshirts and all, as soon as they reached Salt Lake, and so they did from the station. -. "A Saint you know," said Mr. Whlttemore, Whltte-more, is a dead "Angel" and we want to give Salt Lake an Idea of how lively an "Angel" Is. Some of the Riverside crowd at Las Vegas got off and chased themselves In a- saloon. "Wle ghates, rents," said the bar keep, courteously, "what 'Us. 7 "Five lemonades plain," was the reply. re-ply. 'The drink mixer gave a whoop, took a last look, and headed for the bad lands. But we are coming Into Salt Lake at last. Here Is the latest cry. . "We are known as the 'Corky' band. W come to Salt Lake to give the glad hand, Ve don't care what the people think, Vot, vot. vot, vot vot." "We are here at last. We had to forgo a dip Into Salt Lake at Garfield Beach as the hour was after sunrise and there wasn't a -bathing suit of board. Then there were so many "heavy weights" that the tide would have gone up and the city might have been In danger from a flood. - - "But we are here at last. The '400 of the coast' are with us and Salt Lake's pleasure as a host has begun. "It was a trip that no one would have misBed or taken again. Out for Engagements. ' Mr. Waters wants it announced that he Is manager ofi the "Corky band." They are open to engagements for funerals or any other merry gathering where the irrigation is sufficient unto the needs. "A better crowd never climbed aboard Pullmans. When you see the Los Angeles badge don't forget to sing the Scottish national hymn to every man Jack of them who wears the insignia. This national na-tional cry la "Hoot Mon." That-means he's a good fellow. "The first section of the people "Who are Who" on the Pacific coast are with us. To. each goes out the glad hand of fellowship. "The trip Is over. If It had lasted much longer the establishment that Adol-phus Adol-phus Busch so ably presides over would have had to put on a night shift. "it has' been a royal holiday and we were glad to have been able to have been 'one of the fellows' of the best crowd that ever headed east from the California coast." , BY BOBEST COCTBANB. This la a poor, weak attempt to put In cold type the events of the trip of the Los Angeles delegation "from the ocean to the lake.' The story has a' beginning. In strict fact, the start was 9 o'clock Saturday night. But there will never be an end.. St. Peter himself with all his office stenographers on active duty will even miss much: This story Is possibly Incoherent. In-coherent. It Is certainly- off the rails' so far as sequence goes. There Is & reason for all things and certainly an excuse In this . case. To digress a moment. Hoyle or the Webster's Union dictionary defines an angel as follows: "Ang-el" Is Deflned. - "Angel A heavenly Ineligible with wings and a harp; or, an earthly eligible eli-gible with money and a heart." To begin with, there are exactly three hundred and fifteen of them, divided up into two trains. The personnel of this trip includes nearly everybody "who Is who" in Los Angeles, and the big men of San Pedro, San Diego, Riverside, Colton, San Bernardino, Ontario, Long Beach, Santa Monica, Pomona and all the other southern .California points until the list reads like a section of the San Pedro time table. The. list, printed elsewhere, gives the alphabetical list in city directory chronological chro-nological order of ,those that made this trip. Trip Is an Event. , This trip has been an event. "When the train went "toot." "toot," Saturday night in Los Angeles the band played, the crowd sang "Columbia, the Jam of the Ocean," and we were off. ' As the next day wa3 scheduled as Sunday the calendar was operated on and "June 11" disappeared. On board were men of wealth with but one idea, to be divorced from the same. By the way, money Is society's vindication of vulgarity. On board was the personal representative represen-tative of the Mayor of Los Angeles, the City Council, the chamber of commerce, chief of the police department and the head of the fire extinguishers, a phonograph, phono-graph, and enough irrigation material to put the United States reclamation service out of business, t t . - meaning there are no "dears'en the train, an editorial paragraph relative ,to the women describes her thus; "Woman is an aspiring creature whose political sphere Is still slightly flattened at the polli." ' ' Here is a quotation which also adorns the "Cactus" editorial page: "We have traveled by rail from ocean to laka ' , To give the glad hand To our friends In Salt Lake." i On the folly of drink is a talk 'on absinthe. Absinthe is described as coming com-ing from two Latin words, ad and slnistrum, meaning "to the bad." If In doubt, try one. (Old adage, "Absinthe "Ab-sinthe makes the jag last longer.") There Is also an - "obituary" column of noted "Callfornlans." Here Is the way a few were dashed off: Hercules, The Orltty Oreek (no relation rela-tion to the Terrible Turk), an Independent Inde-pendent , laborer, who always had a good job waiting him. Diana The goddess of the chase; unmarried. un-married. Daedalus The original Santos Du-mont. Du-mont. who invented and successfully operated a flying machine that would fly. His son, Icarus, tried the trick, went too high, and fell Into the sea. With Both Feet Mercury A celestial messengerboy, who wore wings on his shoes and knew how "to get. there" In a hurry. Vulcan The Olympian blacksmith, who always had his hommer with him. Bacchus A brewer, who supplied the gods with nectar, the beer that made Olympus famous. The following visiting newspaper men had no part in editing this paper, it being purely the work of the Jonathan club members: Otheman Stevens, Los Angeles Examiner;" Irving Sayford, Los Angeles Times; Albert Searl, Los Angeles Express;" B. A. Helnly, Los Aneeles Record." At all the places along the route the whole towns were out en masse to pay their greetings. There were pictures taken galore. At Callente the "oldest inhabitant" came out to say "howdy." Welcome Is Given. At Uvada her people sent up a roar of Utah welcome that was the beginning begin-ning of the great five-day celebration now about to beln. No sooner had we crossed the State line than a roar of guns announced we were in Utah rang out. Uvada had kept 'her promise and ,Salt Lake Is proud of her. The Telegram brought the news to all of home and the world In the specials f Trip a Pleasant One. ; . This trip has been like an excursion to Bohemia. Bohemia Is as yet unplaced un-placed on the map. It is a land flowing with canned milk and distilled honey, and untroubled by consistency or convention. con-vention. Incidentally it might be mentioned men-tioned that- it is a land to which many are called but few chosen. There were speeches that come under the head of rhetoric, which is the art of wrapping, up everyday talk in a dress suit. ' ; There has been a false alarm of fire to determine if the Los Angeles fire chief could respond from his berth within an hour. Chief Strohm was forced to make his appearance In a suit that resembled what the original Mrs. Bloomer affected. Some thought it was a zouave costume, but was, on inspection, passed as a suit of pajamas cut on the bias. Minstrel Show Given. Then we had a minstrel show with the followins cast: Interlocutor C. O. Whlttemore. Tambos Ben Ward. Gus Holmes, Meredith Snyder, Leo Youngworth. Bones Billy Workman. Will A. White, Joe Simons, Willard Goodwin. Here are a few of the "end men's" efforts: Fine feathers make fine feather beds. A stitch in time saves embarrassing exposure. - e. People who live in glass houses Should dress in the dark. e A bird on the plate Is worth two on the bonnet. e e As ye sew, so shall ye rip. . "Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. law-suit. e e Home is where the mortgage is. e Aim at a chorus girl and you may hit a star. ' A fool and his wife are soon parted. Soap, long deferred, maketh the dirt stick. Man proposes, but .woman Imposes. A miss, is ns good as her smile. It's a wise son who can get two birds with one bone. A rolling stone gathers no moss except ex-cept at roulette. . But a stony roll always gathers the stony stare. The first straw hat shows how the wind blows. ' Music in Abundance. The self-entertainment has not desisted de-sisted a moment. There have been songs from the "Holy City" to the twist that were put aboard at Callente. Mayor Owen McAleer of Los Angeles, who was unable to come along was represented rep-resented by Dr. W. A. Lamb. Dr. lamb with Mayor T. II. Dudley of Santa Monica; Mon-ica; Assemblyman W. H. Wlckersham of San Pedro; Frank Burns, cashier of the San Pedro State bank; Chief of Police W. A. Hammel of Los Angeles; H. I Miller iOf Riverside; E. D. Roberts of San Bernardino; F. W. Enderly of Riverside; D. Johnston of Colton; Mark G. Jones, County Treasurer of Los Angeles: County. Coun-ty. Assessor Ben Ward, City Treasurer William Workman. Sheriff W. A. White of Los Angeles county, and former Mayor May-or M. B. Snyder of Los Angeles; County Surveyor Leo Youngworth and William Goodwin, minute clerk of the Loe Angeles Ange-les Council, all wished to go on record as appreciating the warm sentiments of The Telegram. The Telegram Appreciated.' The Telegram In extending publicly Salt Lake's welcome and for the enterprise enter-prise shown by getting the paper to them so quickly. At Callente came news that the rear trucks of the dining car of section two had jumped the track while coming to a stop while on the Santa Fe tracks between be-tween Colton and Las Vegas. This was the only feature approaching any inconvenience incon-venience on the whole T7S miles. It necessitated ne-cessitated the sending for a train crew and a jack and caused a delay of eight hours. But it was remedied at last anu the train was again headed for Zion. frelpgrams were exchanged constantly by the two trains and the first section "loafed" along to give the second section a chance to get within speaking distance. As the distance was too great, however, it was finally decided to go on, eo section one arrived at 12 o'clock and second is scheduled to arrive at 4 o'clock. This will mean two band welcomes at the station. sta-tion. But even this delay could not check the merriment and the fun never logged a moment. That's Going Some. Just this side of Clma we hit her up to the' tune of seventy-three miles an hour and In a run of 335 miles made up a delay of one hour and a half. Maybe this Isn't going some.' and speaks volumes vol-umes for the excellence of the roadbed of this new road. But two women were sighted on the whole trip. One was a Mexican and the other was barred by the Dr. Osier age restriction. . There were stories told that would have made a Salt lnke ball player laugh after losing a game. Snyder Is an Orator. Mayor Snyder made the Chauncey De-pew De-pew get; away with his story of Castor and Pollax. It seems these two were clever sports and twin brothers from Greece, Castor being a horse-trainer and Pollux a pugilist, whose sister, Helen, a respectable married woman, disgraced the family by eloping with Paris. - Attorney Whlttemore laughed so uproariously up-roariously that it fractured six full bottles of appollinaris water. General Passenger Agent Moore mustn't be overlooked for he was willing to do anything to please so long as the train was kept on the track. Sunday at midnight saw all hands In bed. At daylight we were again at the commissary department and the cooks workoa overtime in getting up xne morning morn-ing meal consisting of sawdust, now sold as breakfast food, to ham and eggs. Arrival at Salt Lake. And then at 11:30 o'clock we pulled into the station and the great trip was over. As the bands played cheers arose and as good a set of men as ever, crossed the continent were here. But what a regal time we have had. No Barnum and Bailey circus ever had such an attraction as we had in our band known as the "Hungry-Ian Band of Jubilee and Tyro-loan Tyro-loan Alps Warblers." To begin with, there was Leo Youngsworth. known as "Hooligan": Louis Schwaebe, affectionately affection-ately tailed "Swayback"; Louis Houser and Mr. "Alphabet" L. J. C. Spruance. At every station this ' band of "Indians,'" dressed in costumes of which night robes and pajamas were the predominating features, fea-tures, trimmed with champagne corks, cigarette signs and tomato receptlcies, serenaded the people along the line. At Stockton the train stopped for fifteen minutes. "Joe" Simons climbed upon a pile of lumber. The gramophone roared out a musical welcome. The people to the number of two hundred gathered. Mr. Simons Si-mons with the true "speelers" lingo," said: Indians Introduced. "Ladies and Gentlemen: I now have the pleasure to Introduce to you a band of wild Indians captured by us at Callente. Cal-lente. They were tame when we got them l-ecause they were so hungry. They have Of the songs, the one entitled "Sister Mary Walks Like This" was the one that seemed to hold the approval of all. As the Journey went on the colored porters got busy with the cork propositions. proposi-tions. -There were toasts for every man of prominence In this Western country, from the time Adam paid taxes hereabouts. here-abouts. Then, a newspaper was Issued on board. This was written on a typewriter type-writer which had been brought along. The name of the paper was "THE CACTUS." Here are a few excerpts from the edition, edi-tion, which, owing to the labor entailed In publishing, was limited to one copy: Hotter Than You Know. The temperature on the desert was ' 40 or 50 deg. higher than is believed the place that Is paved with good intentions inten-tions will be found to be. The heat registered considerably more than 100 deg. This Inspired the leading editorial on wind. Here it Is: WIND An aerial phenomenon, superinduced su-perinduced by an ephemeral agitation of the nebular strata, whereby air, impelled im-pelled Into transitory activity, gener- j ates a prolonged passage through space, owing to certain occult ethereal , stimuli, and results in zephyrs, breezes blows, blow-outs, blizzards, '. gales, simoons, hurricanes, tornadoes or typhoons. Purely a Stag: Party. As this Is purely a "stag" party, |